


The Only One

by QueenOfAshes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Coming out of the Closet, Dirty Talk, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fighting, First Heartbreak, First Love, Fluff, Halloween Costumes, Hetero smut scene, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jjbek, M/M, Minor Jean-Jacques Leroy/Isabella Yang, Moderate Violence, Otabek softie bad boy, Public Sex, Self-Acceptance, cute kisses, endgame JJBek, halloween kisses, homophobia/no parents support, hurt so much hurt, mentions of one-night-stand, minor Otabek Altin/Original Character, rated M for future chapters, two hot guys 0 ft apart cuz they super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21763969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfAshes/pseuds/QueenOfAshes
Summary: From all the times we tried to reach each other, from all the times we had to keep apart from each other for all the incorrect reasons. We’ve always been so different and at the same time, so alike. Something burnt inside me every time you were close to me. Who knew that destiny had already marked something inside us?This is the story of how Otabek and JJ ended up together.Translation of "The Only One" by NoireRigel
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Jean-Jacques Leroy
Comments: 34
Kudos: 25





	1. Your name & mine

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [The Only One](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/562372) by NoireRigel. 



Farewells had always been hard, one of the worst things he had done in his short life. First, he had to say goodbye to his home rink in Almaty and also his whole family for going to train with a coach in Moscow. His family was the hardest thing to leave behind, but as his first coach have told his parents, staying in Kazakhstan would not give him enough opportunities to grow up as a sportsman. His potential would be destroyed if he didn't start since the beginning learning well and with the best, and beyond what his family could think of, they had to recognize where the best coaches and skating rinks where at.

That's how he ended up on Russia. But, after a brief summer camp, it was evident he couldn't follow the other juniors, the Russian's rhythm was too fast for him in what ballet was about, so finally his family decided, for his own good, that he would try his luck in another continent. Crossing the Atlantic Ocean was too much, but he endured with his usual stoicism. Or he tried. He cried, of course, as he still hadn't mastered control over his emotions that he'd gain later, but he could cope with it carrying in his memories all the people who loved him, and people who had been important to him. Even that little Russian boy, the one with he felt some kind of special connection since he saw him in the summer camp. 

After reaching the American continent, he went first briefly to the United States. His last destiny was Canada. He was only 13 and some months when he decided he'd stay there, and that it was the correct place. He signed up in one of the city's schools so he didn't leave his studies behind, and he started practicing in one of the rinks available within the city. All his classmates were special through him, but Otabek gave himself to respect although being the weird new guy from a country nobody else knew, it seemed. 

Until _He_ arrived, like a whirlwind. The first impression that boy gave him wasn't good, but Otabek didn't judge people without meeting them first, so he waited patiently to know the boy better. And he did it. They were together as the only two men within the skating club of the school. Altin tried at all cost not talking with his partners. 

The Kazakh was a good observer. With his patient study of his close ones, his attention drafted towards the only other competitor he had within the same school, actually they were in the same classroom for reasons Otabek wasn't aware of, although the boy was one year older than him and all the others. It was a shocking day when he noticed the noisiest boy of the classroom and also trainings, was in fact a lonely soul. Leroy always signed up for all the extra activities that existed in the school, but his way of speaking bothered other people as he was egocentric, creating a wall between him and the rest of the world unconsciously. 

Otabek even noticed, Leroy never carried friends at home and neither ate with anyone during recess or lunch hours. He’ll be out of sight after kindly refusing sharing his lunch hour with someone else. Altin would soon understand, after his peaceful observation, that the Canadian boy did it because he was asked to go out by many girls, sometimes more than one at a time, and he felt bad accepting only one, so he ended up refusing them all. That situation was not good within the boys of his classroom of course, young boys that closed the door a long time ago to the young skating promise. 

  
  


“You're Kazakh, right? Girls told me you came from Siberia but I am sure I heard the coach mention another place” He said with his usual, uncomprehended sociability. 

“Yes” It was his whole answer.

“How's that place like? I was looking in the Internet the other day, and it seemed they got Astana out of a science fiction movie!” The laugh of the Canadian was contagious but not enough to make smile the boy who looked at him without understanding why he insisted on speaking so much to him, “I'm glad you're here. I'm the only one who can skate in the school, and as everyone else chose another sports they aren't very open to talk about the theme, even if I have invited them to my ice shows!” The boy continued chatting, he had taken the sit in a chair in front of Otabek's. 

Did he really looked for things in Internet just to talk with him? Thinking about it made Otabek's lips slightly curved up. This was a shock for the other skater who sat up jumping from his chair. 

“I knew it! You can actually smile! No one can resist my JJ Style! Do you want us to be friends? It will be fun!” The boy was giving him puppy eyes. Puppy, lit eyes that in Otabek's mind resembled a dog. The comparison made him have a rough laugh, like Otabek had forgotten his ability to laugh and now was suddenly using it after a long time untouched. 

“Otabek Altin” He introduced himself, although it seemed unnecessary as Leroy gave him a chat of at least five minutes about how he knew about his name. He spoke in detail about how he had heard about him when the Kazakh was introduced in the school skating club, and since then Leroy got the eye put on him. 

“Well, as I was saying, It's nice to meet you, you know? I'm funnier that I look like” This guy winked at him, making Otabek slightly uncomfortable, bless his plane face for not showing it. 

“Nice to meet you, Jean” He answered, finally accepting the hand the other had extended between them. 

JJ wasn't more than surprised, and happy when he heard his own name from the boy's mouth. Everything was going perfect. He was definitely the first friend that he could count out of his hand's fingers and he hoped not to screw it up.


	2. First Steps Are the Most Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Disclaimer: YOI does not belong to me. If it were mine, there were more JJBek fanarts or at least I could draw for them - in pain - 
> 
> We’re on the soft and fluffy part.

Although it seemed everything was fine at the beginning, keeping Otabek Altin as a friend was something harder than Jean-Jacques Leroy had ever imagined. Because the most he insisted, the most the boy closed himself, ending up in the Canadian making eternal monologues, only getting a short answer from the Kazakh, or if he was lucky, a little whisper that made him frustrated. 

  
  


But, Leroy was stubborn and he liked to fight his battles until the end, that’s why he didn’t give up regardless of the hard job that it was to get the Altin’s attention. One day he found something besides skating than they could share: Music and vehicles. Since he was a little boy, JJ was given the option to learn a few instruments, he was the owner of a good voice and a collection of music from many artists both Otabek and JJ liked. And, about the other topic, even if the Canadian did not know much about it, he could notice Otabek’s emotion, not for vehicles in general, but specifically motorcycles, for some reason he couldn’t understand, Otabek’s eyes were always shining when watching pictures of motorcycles on magazines or watching a real one on the street, or when Otabek actually talked and told Leroy about the last models. Leroy was sure even if Altin didn’t have the age to drive one of them, he would surely do it if he had the chance. 

Leroy could lack friends, but not contacts. So he set up a plan to take Otabek to an exhibit of those two wheel monsters, and felt so proud of himself and well served when at the end of the day, Otabek accepted to go to JJ’s house to hang out with him and meet his family for the first time since they’ve met. Jean was so excited he couldn’t contain his smile, and his nerves. He was talking to his mother about the new boy all week long, each day he arrived from school to ask her everything was perfect — This was the first time he will bring a friend home— and he spent the rest of the week reminding his mother every few hours that he had a compromise with the boy. 

  
  


The so waited day came easily. JJ waited with anxiety multiplied by one thousand behind the curtains of the main window of the house. But Altin just didn’t show up. 

The time they had agreed passed, and the boy was losing slow and sure his optimism. 

With half and hour of delay, he could not wait for his partner to actually show up. 

Under the worried look of his mother, JJ got up stairs to his room, faking he was okay. 

He was not okay.

As soon as he was inside his room, he looked at everything he had in his little kingdom, feeling more lonely than ever. He looked for in his closet until finding a very fancy box, taking a few plushies out of it. He saved them in secret so his smaller siblings didn’t lose respect or admiration to him. He hugged one of the plushies, a bear with a happy face, and he curled up behind his sheets restraining the will to cry. It just wasn’t his style as much sadness he felt. 

Soft knocks on his door a few minutes later made him react with a growl, he definitely didn’t want his mother to check on him or even try to cheer him up.

“I’m busy, come back later” He said, and buried himself entirely within his sheets as the door opened without his permission. “I said I’m bu-Otabek?!” 

The shock was so great that he jumped up from the bed and forgot he had still the bear plushie in his hand. Thinking he was dreaming, he jumped into his classmate to hug him to the neck. 

“Otabek! I knew you were coming! I didn’t doubt it! Not a single moment!” Between laughing and the feeling of happiness so strong his chest hurt, he had to let go of the boy that had been a little startled after watching his reaction. 

“...I’m sorry” Otabek apologized, his voice shy. The Canadian’s mother was behind them, excited to see her son so happy. 

“JJ, honey, your friend is late because he brought us cake for dinner. Now go have some fun, if you need something just call me, OK?” Mrs. Leroy explained before leaving.

The door closed behind the Kazakh, who took a deep breath, overwhelmed because of all the stuff that happened that day and almost didn’t make it to JJ’s house. His partner just seemed gone, like he was on the clouds, still in shock.

“Jean? Are you okay?” He asked, doubting JJ’s mental state noticing the thing he was carrying above his arm. 

“I’m okay. I am very, very happy” Explained the older of the two boys, and with a smile brighter than the sun he opened his arms to point at his domains, realizing what he had on his hand. “Oh, this is Mr. Joyeux” He explained slightly embarrassed and smiled to his bear before saving it in his box. 

With everything arranged and under the everlasting stoic look of Altin, he started to brag about his room, showing him almost every single secret he had. Although the beginning of the afternoon was not that good, they passed some good hours together. JJ even was able to listen Otabek’s laugh for the first time, and he decided to keep him happy more often. 

He knew how hard it was to live in a strange country without your family, like he himself had tried years ago looking for a coach that clicked with him to no avail. He wanted that quiet guy felt like home when he was with him, than he could just relax. 

If there were friends, that was normal, right?

Dinner with cake were more than okay. The Canadians were really kind with the new guy and they made some basic questions, happy to know his son would have a competitive rival in figure skating world and they knew that would make JJ go further and improve. 

JJ’s smaller siblings also gave a little demonstration of what they were capable of being funny as they played to be the King’s court, loyal followers of his elder brother, the King of the house. 

Very little time was left for the time they spent together, and Jean was beginning to get impatient looking at the clock. Not because he wanted the Kazakh gone, but because he wished to stop time for once to stretch those moments. 

“Are you always this quiet?” JJ couldn’t contain the question that was burning inside of him.

“Sometimes” Altin explained, JJ growled. 

“When we talk about motorcycles you’re an unstoppable chatter mhm...Maybe because you need an interesting theme to talk?” Leroy said as if solving a mystery, his hand in his own chin while he thought of a plan to make the other boy to actually talk. 

“Maybe…” Otabek turned uncomfortable, he didn’t like the look JJ was giving to him. He felt like a lab rat.

Leroy kept thinking on looking for stuff to haunt Otabek so he didn’t go away so fast from him, and most importantly, for him to really want to be his friend. He was lost in his thoughts while waited Otabek to finish looking at the photos he contemplated above the furniture of the room. 

Altin found a seal then, seemed out of place. It looked like a sticker with his partner’s own trademark. Was he already that famous? He turned to look back at him, trying to evaluate what he was seeing in the person who self-proclaimed himself as King, and JJ smiled as if expecting something from Altin. 

“What’s this Jay Jay Style stuff?” The Kazakh asked on his own, for JJ’s surprise. 

“Oh, well...It’s JJ Style!” The Canadian pointed out, showing him a pose he had created a couple of years before for himself, but then he laughed. “I don’t know how to explain it well, I only...I only feet I can do things my own way, that I have to do whatever is right” He said trying to make sense of himself, probably not the best words option but that’s what he got. 

Otabek let the words enter his system, meditating. He then nodded slightly. Leroy looked at him with doubt in his face, did he really understand?

“I also want to be steady in my convictions” The Kazakh explained looking at the other with his serious face. It was one of the reasons he moved his training place, if he couldn’t follow the Russian’s pace then he will find his own, and will remain true to himself even in his short age. 

“It sounds really cool if you say it like that…” JJ accepted, and then he got a brilliant idea, taking his right hand to take Altin’s. “We’re friends, right?” He asked with some doubt, but also wanting to believe it was possible “I mean, can we be friends?” He corrected himself, trying not to sound rude. 

Otabek’s silence told him there were no problems. That’s why he squeezed that hand a little more with his fingers, not hurting him but not allowing him to get away either. He needed that answer. 

“Ahm...Yeah, I guess” Altin answered in dry tone, more because of the weird specimen he had in front of his eyes and the action of taking his hand so casually, and the fact he’s been insisting so much on the topic. 

“Let’s make a friend’s promise, that ones you have to fulfill forever...What do you say?” Leroy looked at him with big bright eyes

“It’s okay. What exactly do you want?” His usual unamused voice seemed not to have any effect on JJ. 

“I promise I’ll always going to be loyal to the JJ Style and I won’t let the world force me to change” He pointed out while squeezed a little more Otabek’s hand in his own “I’ll make the world turn at my own rhythm!”

Just listening to him made Otabek smile, JJ’s energy being contagious enough for him to be affected by it, answering the squeezing with his own hand also pressing down JJ’s fingers. 

“Seems good to me, Jean. I promise to always be myself” He said imitating the serious tone JJ had used before. 

“We’re settled then! Whoever who breaks the promise will have to swim in a frozen lake! ...Naked!” Jean-Jacques said almost jumping, his idea filling the air with excitement. 

They stood a long time talking, making up more punishments for the one who break the promise first. Mrs. Leroy had to get them apart because it was time Otabek came back home, they had come to pick him up already. 

Of course, none of them knew how hard would it be to keep a promise like that, not until many years later. They could believe they could sound all grown up and something like small adults, but the reality was they were still kids and the world still had a lot of difficulties on the road waiting for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Hi again, here we are with another delivery, this time past my bedtime because I am no capable of sleeping early when I have to.  
> Within my Headcanon, this chapter is when JJ and Beka have both 14 years old, six months after the first chapter.  
> JJ has always been a lonely guy despite having his family, used to have fun since he was a kid with his plushies and toys, and he had them very precious to him.  
> I appreciate comments, kudos, cookies and ice cream because where I live, there's a lot of heat  
> Thanks for reading, Greetings! 
> 
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> T/N: Please remember this isn’t the canon but canon-divergence and some aspect of JJ’s and Otabek’s precanon life are going to be very different here than in official books who were released after this fic started and finished. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, see you next chapter!


	3. Indelible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me. If that was the case, I could have Yuuri’s nendoroid and I could admire him not only in photos.  
> Rated M for the future although we are still on the soft and beautiful “arc”.

To live in Canada wasn’t as hard as he thought at the beginning. Of course, he missed his mother land, and his family, but he had acquired some sort of lucky charm or stone in his path, that didn’t allow him to be depressed for very long. Jean-Jacques had that energy that cheered him up, even ending up doing unthinkable things like going out at night without permission just to go watch the stars, or to study the places where both Otabek and Jean-Jacques thought they could catch fireflies. And somehow, even if there wasn’t so much sense every new idea the Canadian had, Otabek always ended up following him. 

He already had months in there, and a lot of stuff has happened. He hadn’t repeated his visit to the Leroy family very often so he couldn’t be a bother to them, but when he showed up, he was welcomed with open arms, also, his training was giving him results after months of hard work. He even ended up telling about JJ to his parents through video call, the only social network he was forced to use for communication purposes only. How could he not to? If JJ himself had insisted so much that he must mention him at least one time to his parents so they know about his shiny existence. 

It was on October 31st, the day Otabek was turning fifteen, that the thread that joined them started to change its color. Everything began with something so simple like Leroy wanted to celebrate Halloween without caring about anything else, it seemed he didn’t know about the Kazakh’s birthday, who had nothing better to do and ended up saying yes to go to the Leroy house for this day. What Otabek didn’t expect, was that “celebrating” also meant to have a costume, and he ended up being pursued by all the nooks and crannies of the skater’s house while JJ tried to put him wolf ears that he had bought exclusively for him. 

“Jean, I’m telling you, it’s not necessary!” Exhaled the boy, tired of running when they arrived to one of the back doors of the house after Mrs. Leroy sent them to the backyard in order for them not to touch the decorations she was putting on the living room for that night’s party. 

“Otabek, it’s necessary. It’s the basic thing in Halloween. Now, please do me a favor and be quiet” JJ caught his breath with his hands on the knees, with the wolf ears still on his hands. He had a good physical shape but Altin was nowhere behind and he was elusive. 

“Jean, if you come any closer I can’t promise you’ll be unharmed” Altin threatened, desperate because of JJ’s closeness that without a doubt seemed determined to make him wear a werewolf suit that day. 

“Otabek, watch out!” The screaming and the older one’s expression made the Kazakh turn around to see what it was, and that was the first mistake that day. 

Leroy’s body fell above his own, rolling on the floor, struggling between the complains from the Kazakh, and JJ, who ended up laughing because of how ridiculous the situation was, victorious after he realized Otabek was not a match for his strength. 

“I got you!” The Canadian shouted between his laughs, while he tightened the brace in his victim so he doesn’t get away. 

Altin had tried if not because he could feel Jean’s laugh in his neck, along with his hot breath, and because of the cold air of the season, it gave him chills. 

“Jean...Let go of me” Demanded, putting his thoughts in order, though he couldn’t do the same with the feelings and a soft blush appeared in his cheeks. 

“Why? Is there something wrong with your friends being close to you?” JJ asked simple-minded. 

The Canadian earnt a punch on the head and another one on the ribs until the Kazakh got himself free. Otabek was looking at JJ, slightly upset while JJ made apology faces and puppy eyes, looking for Otabek’s pity. And those puppy eyes worked on him so well, for his own bad luck. 

The night came in and Altin was already covered in makeup, fake teeth, the must-have ears and a fluffy tail that went out from his pants hem. He had to take a mental note to steal his friend’s phone only for deleting the ridiculous amount of pictures that JJ had taken of him during the process of dressing him up. Jean-Jacques had a vampire costume, with a fake blood stain on a white shirt, a single thread of his fake blood coming out of his mouth border. His outfit was finished with a cape and other accessories, that made him look unexpectedly good and the Kazakh damned his luck once more. 

Nathalie Leroy sent them to ask for candies as that was the tradition before letting them in to the Halloween party where the first guest have already arrived, family friends mostly. The birthday boy was dragged by his partner-in-crime, without any other option but to stick to his schedule and faking that he wasn’t embarrassed everytime JJ put himself on his vampire character asking for candy door to door. How was it possible for Otabek to be doing this kind of stuff right after turning fifteen?

The last door they had managed to knock onto, was that of an old couple that was not exactly into Halloween, and even if JJ tried to be nice, he was left with no option more than threatening them with tossing eggs to their house. Of course, the boys didn’t know that they were going to end up being chased by a broomstick and an angry old man. While they run for their lives, Otabek started laughing. 

“Jean...” He called with his paced voice, and of course he received all the attention from Jean-Jacques, who looked at his eyes. 

“Otabek...”

They stood in silence for more time than was acceptable. Altin could notice Leroy was staring at his lips for a few seconds. And finally, they took a step back after they were no longer in danger. It was in that strange calm, they decided to go back to the king’s mother party. They had a lot of candy and they were inside themselves. The Kazakh was feeling surprisingly calm, even if this had been a weird way to, in theory, celebrate his birthday. The company of his fellow skater didn’t bother him at all. 

The Kazakh was aiming to continue walking but he was stopped by JJ’s hand, finding a bench on a little park before reaching the Leroy’s house. The park’s lights were dim but good enough to see their faces. 

“Jean, what’s wrong?” He asked, wondering why the sudden stop, given the fact that Jean-Jacques had talked to him about the party until he was tired. 

The Canadian took a package from the pumpkin he had used for going trick-or-treating, for incomprehensible reasons the package fitted inside that small space of the orange plastic container. 

“I had to ask the teachers for a week until they finally told me…So, first of all, Happy Birthday Otabek!” Jean-Jacques gave his congratulations raising his own hands to the air, leaving the pumpkin and the package at one side of the bench. 

“Did you know that is calling stalking?” Otabek asked, and then he conceded a small smile. “Thanks, Jean.”

“It’s NOT stalking! You’re my friend. Also, I haven’t finished. We’re in Halloween, so what do you prefer? Trick or Treat?” Jean asked, excited. His eyes were going from Otabek’s expression until the package that was clearly a present. 

“Mhm, I shouldn’t trust a stalker, but it’s okay: Trick. ” Otabek chose, and He enjoyed internally the puzzled expression on the Canadian’s face. 

“You know I have a gift and you go and ask for another thing. Do you understand how weird you are?” The older one shook his head, getting up from the bench. 

Altin was looking at him without understanding, and of course he wasn’t prepared for that kind of scares. Because not a single minute passed when the vampire who was now in front of him, leaned in, taking him by the shoulders…

“Please, don’t hate me...”

For his own luck, Otabek wasn’t able to hate him in that moment. On the fresh wind of Summer, with an October almost ending, his lips received Jean’s directly. It was a sloppy and soft contact, it made him blush all over his face when he tasted the fake blood soon after the other boy pulled apart. Jean was equally embarrassed, trying to show himself braver than he felt. 

“My first kiss, for yours. Because it’s the first, isn’t it?” Inquired the one that had achieved to break the barrier that friends should not touch. 

Because friends didn’t do those kind of things, but just for that moment, Otabek didn’t care. He simply nodded, still shocked and unable to say something coherent. What the hell that “trick” have been? 

“Happy Birthday...This one is your actual present” Jean finally gave him the package, trying for the air to come to its holiday state, because Otabek’s silence was killing him. No, he hadn’t planned it like this. 

The birthday boy finally opened the delicate wrapping, and found a bear plushie with a calm expression and a bracelet hanging from its fake fur neck, with a pendant which had a “J” inside a letter “O”. He couldn’t suppress the laugh after seeing it and finally observed the other boy who was doing nothing but looking at him. That and being so close of pouting made Otabek laugh even more. 

“Isn’t this the kind of gifts you would give to a girl?” Otabek asked, and earnt a hit with the other’s elbow. 

“You’re so difficult...This is Mr. Sérieux, it’s a relative of Mr. Joyeux” Jean-Jacques explained, embarrassed, showing in his red ears. “I’ll find something better next time” He promised, somewhat frustrated because his gift wasn’t very welcomed, it seemed. 

But, for his own surprise, Otabek was already putting on the bracelet. 

“To spend this day with you is enough” The Kazakh spoke before taking the little bear and putting it inside his full of candy pumpkin. 

Speechless. That was the best word to describe Jean-Jacques state in that moment, watching his partner like he was an alien. The path back to the party at the Leroy’s house wasn’t as terrible after that. They didn’t talk about what had happened but talked like every other day, like always, and that was something both of them thanked the other for. 

_It was on Otabek Altin’s fifteen birthday, when the thread which connected him to Jean-Jacques Leroy was taking a soft, delicate pink color._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello again! Thank you for reading up to this point.  
> We’ve arrived to the point of the story where the feelings start to flourish, and we are one step closer from the present’s angst. 
> 
> Otabek’s birthday is October 31st, in case it wasn’t clear up there. So we’re on this date in this chapter. Both of them are already 15 years old. In my head canon, JJ is the one who gives Otabek the serious bear(Don’t blame me, it was too fluffy and adorable for not putting it in). 
> 
> Thank you very much again and also thank you if you leave an opinion about the story’s path. 
> 
> T/N: I find this adorable. Thank you for reading and go give @NoireRigel some love. 
> 
> See you next chapter!


	4. Childish Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:   
> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me. If that was the case, I could have money for traveling to Canada(?)  
> Warning: This fic has BL and yaoi, in the future it will have some violence, angst and language not suitable for minors among other stuff. If you feel uncomfortable or don’t like these themes, you are free to close this tab and look for something more suitable to your liking.  
> Rated M because of the future, we’re still on the cotton soft part.

During the winter season at school, winter sports had the possibility to shine. When it was about Figure Skating, the school organized a competition with the girls who practiced said sport and a final performance when also appeared the only male member of the club. That has been until the Kazakh boy had joined them. Having at least two boys meant they could have a competition too, and Leroy made sure of that once he had the chance. 

JJ had to accept that even if he and Otabek were friends — which was without a doubt the best news in his life — this didn’t mean he wasn’t his rival, and as the official events didn’t allowed an exchange student, JJ had managed to convince the teachers to make a competition between him and Otabek as healthy entertainment. JJ’s excitement the previous days was extraordinarily high, he always did everything big. When the so waited day arrived, they both went to the rink, dressed in their costumes, performing one after the other. 

The most charismatic seemed to be Leroy, but even if the Kazakh’s face was not precisely full of emotions, his body slowly started to show what he would become one day when he completed his own way of showing what he felt when he was on the ice. 

The competition that day had a clear winner, although both of them earned the public’s cheers. As soon as they said goodbye to the audience, they went to the changing room so they could take a shower and wear more comfortable clothes. The Canadian seemed awfully quiet when they were heading to the showers, leaving a bit of a worry in Otabek’s head, who dared to ask him what had happened, and what was on Leroy’s head. 

Leroy’s answer didn’t take too much time once they were alone. After checking no one else was on sight, he pinned his rival to the wall, and his anxious and sloppy mouth started to kiss him. It was different than the last time he had done it, and similar of how he had done it the past months, soon getting the long awaited answer. Altin was taking less and less to reciprocate his kisses. 

When they got away from each other in search for air because they still lacked practice doing this kissing sessions, a smile seemed to be born in Otabek’s face and die in the brightest lips of JJ. 

“Why was that, Jean?” Otabek asked with his usual monotone voice, although if one could look at him with detail one could see the sparks in his eyes. 

“I’m congratulating you for almost winning to the king” The usual ego of Jean-Jacques earned himself a punch and both of them ended up laughing before going to change clothes. 

The kisses that first had been at first stolen, became shared. They did it every time they had the chance, when they were alone, even when they knew that soon they would be close to people. The contact had become addictive for both of them. They never crossed more than that line, for the moment all the kisses were casts, anxious and innocent, just discovering the art of joining their lips. 

Jean-Jacques guarded the first time he achieved to be corresponded by Altin as a precious memory. A few weeks after Otabek’s birthday, on the way back home, and under a tree’s shadow, he was able to ask permission to try again what he had already done. This time it was slow, paused. The contact lasted a little more, and because of this reason, Leroy could feel how the equally inexpert lips of the other boy moved against his own, filling his heart with an indescriptible joy. From that moment on, there was no turning back. 

JJ wasn’t sure if they had something with each other. It was nothing official, but they definitely were not simply friends, and it felt good. More than good. Now they knew each other, and it wasn’t weird that the Kazakh’s visits his home often. His parents were glad to have Otabek at home, he was treated like a family member every time he came. Jean had fun with that and took advantage of this, using his mother as an excuse to invite Otabek over so the Kazakh couldn’t refuse to come. 

On that special day, they were on JJ’s house. JJ made sure Otabek arrived early because they had several spare hours before the food was ready. JJ closed the door of his room behind him so they could play videogames the Canadian had even if they used it very little. They ended up watching music videos while JJ tried to copy the dancing moves. 

Otabek wasn’t keen to follow the idea, although he half-smiled watching JJ’s moving at the rhythm of the music. Jean-Jacques pulled him with his hands to make Otabek move to his side. With no ease he managed to have Otabek trapped in front of him to dance together. They finished heavily exhaling because of the effort and then the one with the blue eyes realized the short distance between them, looking for Altin’s neck just to give him a kiss on his nape. 

Altin gasped at the contact, trying to hold his breath and every demonstration that he liked the sensation. Alien hands decided to touch him softly across the hips, and up, but the move was so light the Kazakh ended up with a soft laugh because of the contact in his sides. JJ stopped then and made sure to look at him like all the times he did when he was studying Otabek Altin. 

“What’s up? Now you’re quiet?” Asked Otabek, looking at him a little nervous. 

“Mhm...I thought it was my imagination, but, is it only me or you are very ticklish?”

Otabek jumped in his position to put distance between he and JJ, putting himself on defense. If there was something he knew, was that his own body was not a match for JJ anymore. And for this same reason he couldn’t have a chance in case of an attack. 

“Uh, you’re so cute. Wait, you don’t have to fear me” JJ tried to sound trustworthy, but to no avail, Otabek’s reject gaze was already evident. 

JJ walked closer to the other skater, with clear and bad intentions, but finally he found his own face being taken by alien hands, receiving a kiss which stole his breath, his ideas, and every kind of incorrect purposes he had. 

“Don’t you dare” Warned Otabek. 

“If you give me more of those, I won’t mention your weakness again” The king said, shamelessly, who received a punch, and then, another kiss. 

It was really hard to stop once they started. They knew it the time they switched from being on their foot savoring each other’s lips, to being against the door of Leroy’s room, where JJ made sure to keep his guest quiet. JJ’s hands were restless, slipping inside the Kazakh’s T-shirt. Otabek tightened his grip on JJ’s elbow at the contact of his skin. Altin separated from Jean’s mouth, only to trace a path of kisses until JJ’s neck, something they haven’t done yet, and definitely should have tried before, as it was delicious in Otabek’s terms. Even more when Altin could listen JJ’s gasps. 

“ _ JJ, Otabek, dinner’s ready! _ ”

Mrs. Leroy’s call made them separate from each other abruptly. 

They looked at each other, panting, and then laughing out loud trying to compose their clothes that looked more wrinkled than they expected. They went down the stairs almost running to participate of the family dinner. Everything was as noisy as ever, until the smallest Leroy siblings decided it was the right moment to get up and play, leaving the elder ones alone. 

“Well, we excuse ourselves too. We’ll be in our room before taking Otabek home” Explained JJ, getting up from his chair. 

“JJ wait! We have to talk.” Alain Leroy declared. 

Alain was not the scolding type, but in that moment his facial expression made the blood of his firstborn froze, JJ took his seat again. JJ didn’t dare to look at Altin, because he feared this had to do with him and the stuff they were doing lately, and that weren’t precisely a common practice between friends. Did his father see them? 

“I’ll let you talk. I’ll wait upstairs, Jean. ” Otabek informed, feeling out of place and receiving a smile and a nod from Alain. 

“What’s wrong dad? Can’t we talk later?” The king asked.

“It has to be now, I am worried about certain rumor that I heard from school. Are you still in touch with the Gauthier’s boy?”

“Well, yes, He is our classmate, what’s wrong with him?” Jean waited for his father to explain once and for all what was happening. 

“I was informed this afternoon that he decided to declare that...Oh, this is hard. Out of the blue he decided to tell his parents that he was homosexual and that he had a boyfriend, a horrible man like five years older than him. Honestly, I don’t have anything against those people, but I would prefer you, as a public figure, not having any relation with those problems, am I clear? Now you have the boy Altin, his friendship is good for you. You don’t need to look for other people who can stain the image we have put effort into building as a family.”

JJ was listening. And while listening, he felt his insides go down. Suddenly he wanted to throw up everything he’d just consumed. The only thing he was able to do after staying literally speechless was nod briefly and to excuse himself to look for Otabek. 

For his own surprise, his friend was just inside the next room, playing a game with the smaller Leroy siblings. JJ only had to look at Otabek’s face to know he had listened to everything his father had said. They walked in silence to fetch Otabek’s stuff, and after saying goodbye to the family, the Canadian accompanied his friend at a slow pace in direction to the house where he lived. 

“Otabek, about my father...Well...” JJ tried to begin the conversation, although in reality he didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s a valid opinion and even though I don’t share it, I know he worries about you.” The firm voice Altin used was like a punch in the stomach for JJ. 

“Mhm...I know he worries about me, especially since the possibility to join a band, but...” JJ trailed off, unable to continue. 

The Kazakh kept complete silence in those moments. His head was also a turmoil after what he had heard at Leroy’s house. He felt grateful for the good opinion they had about him, but Otabek started to feel that it was a biased opinion based only on what they thought his relationship with Jean was. 

Finally they arrived at Otabek’s front door, who turned around to say goodbye as they always did. It was already dark, so it was normal they say their goodbyes with a little kiss. Otabek waited patiently until JJ reached him. What Otabek received was a tight hug that took away his breath, not in a good way.

“Jean?...” He asked, confused. 

“It’s nothing...Just...See you tomorrow!” And that were the last words of the Canadian. 

Otabek stood there, on his two feet, looking at him without understanding, looking at him walking away from him. He sighed wanting to believe it had nothing to do with the recent events on his rival’s house. 

“Beka, wait!” The voice he knew so well made him turn back, finding out JJ had cut out the distance he had already gained now being as close as he was before leaving. 

Their mouths collided, silence filled the place. In those moments, the Kazakh was grateful to live alone, thus there was no one to interrupt them. Otabek’s hands tightened on the king’s jacket so he doesn’t run away, and looked at him, confused. He didn’t understand what was happening with him. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, you hear me?”

Otabek didn’t know how he was capable of saying that, but it was clear he himself needed to hear it. To hear it and also be able to believe it. He saw JJ nod and they said their final goodbye’s. He saw the Canadian walking away from him until he was no longer in sight, and then Otabek entered the lonely place he called home. He supported himself on the door when he closed it and only then he could notice how his own hands were trembling. What was happening with him? What was happening with them? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions nor he wanted to think about it ahead of time, but the pressure on his chest felt like he was being stabbed with a thorn and instead of taking it out, it menaced with drowning deep down into him, taking away his hopes. 

_ The destiny’s thread had turned the most beautiful red color, seconds before a sharp scissor threatened to make it surrender to the pressure.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Hello again! Thanks for reading if you reached here.  
> As we just saw, angst is starting for our dear protagonists, everything for a simple Leroy’s familiar conversation. To explain, according to my HC, Alain Leroy is a person relatively conservative respect his family, he wants grandsons, so looking at his son as a possible homosexual is something he doesn’t imagine not even joking, and this conversation is the initial point of disaster.  
> In general, the conversation at the end of the chapter happens time after JJ’s 16 birthday, but before Otabek’s birthday, so they are 16 years old and 15 years old respectively. Also JJ is on the verge of sending himself to fame on the musical side of life, in case you were wondering about that theme. 
> 
> Thanks a lot for taking the time to read it and even more thanks if you leave me a cookie or an opinion of the story.  
> Greetings! 
> 
> T/N: This hurt my soul. Thanks for reading! See you next chapter~


	5. Two Misses and One Hit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me.  
> Rated M for the future bcs I can.

Two months before Jean-Jacques could reach his 17th birthday, his mother appeared in his room to ask him a favor. One of her closest friends just moved from a far away province of Canada to the city where they lived. Jean of course didn’t understand at first what was what his mother wanted of him, but he went with her anyway. After giving him permission, his parents made sure he had a driving license and since then he became the familiar driver in every chance he had to not lose practice. He only waited to finish early so he could go with Otabek as they had accorded the day before. 

They didn’t have much time lately, what Leroy had started as a hobby became something more important, and the music band required more of his time, especially when the day of his great debut over a numerous crowd was drawing near. His band has had shows in small celebrations, but nothing exaggerated and even if they had a group of fans, they were still an emerging band. There were also the official Figure Skating competitions, which Jean enjoyed, but every single one of those events resulted in having less class days, and also that meant less time he could spend with the Kazakh. 

His mind was lost in those thoughts, so he didn’t realize the automatic greetings he had to give to the family they went to visit. He took a seat on the couch while his mother talked and gave typical fruit pies, he could only look away to the window and ask himself what his best friend would be doing right now. 

“I thought big city boys wouldn’t look so boring” A voice he didn’t recall hearing made him turn around. 

Ah, but sure, he had seen her. She was Mrs. Yang’s daughter, Isabella. His automatic memory made sure of remembering the name for him, but he hadn’t paid much attention to the greetings session and he felt a little bad for it. 

“It’s not...It’s not like I’m bored” He tried to explain, but his acceptance level with the girls was very unpredictable, so he didn’t feel so hopeful in that situation. He only needed to talk and surely after a few words she will be like all the others. 

“So you only look at the window thinking about the person you like like a young man in love?” Jean’s eyes opened wide at this, making evident the girl’s statement, and her laughter filled the room. “That was too predictable. It shows you’re only sixteen.”

“Hey! All of that are your own suppositions! Also, I’m two months from having seventeen, that makes me almost an adult” If Jean didn’t show him his tongue at that moment was because he was trying not to blush, associating the girl’s words to a certain boy. “And how old are you? Miss ‘I-know-everything’?” He asked. 

“Eighteen and counting, so you should start by respecting me. ” The woman in question showed him her bright white teeth, and he snapped his tongue. 

At that point it was impossible to stop the conversation. She managed to get words out of him and after hours of trying not to explode childishly, Jean’s mother finally decided to return home and with that he could say goodbye. Of course, on the road home, Mrs. Leroy stated clear that she wanted Jean was nice with Isabella, and that he should invite her to show her around the city so she wouldn’t feel alone. Jean didn’t take the task with grace, knowing that besides everything else, now he had to babysit an older girl, less when he realized that someone - surely his mother - had given her his telephone number to the girl who already had left him a message asking her to save her contact information. 

Mrs. Leroy hoped his son got down on the car when they reached home, but instead he drove to his other compromise of the day. He had sent a message to Otabek that he was going to be late, but Altin hadn’t responded to his text and JJ hoped Otabek wasn’t mad at him. Luckily, Otabek simply had decided to take a nap while he waited, and in no time he was ready occupying the passenger seat. 

“Ah, Beka, I’m so glad to see you. You don’t know how stressful my mother’s social visits are. She wants me to know even the great-grandfather of every single person her friends are, I don’t know how I didn’t get any of that from her” He complained, while they advanced to a quieter place, away from the center of the city. 

“Mhm...I don’t think it’s a bad idea your mother is helping you make some friends. You’re not very good at it yourself” Altin commented, half joking, half serious, earning a hit on his thighs on the next stop sign. 

“You’re an idiot sometimes, Altin” JJ said, even if he wasn’t the one who generally gave away the insults, but he felt confident with Otabek. 

JJ’s cell phone rang making him almost jump from the seat, and he checked it half-assed leaving it again on the side. 

“Don’t plan to answer?” Asked Otabek, making himself comfortable looking at his best friend. 

“It’s no use. It’s that girl again...A while ago she wanted me to confirm I got her number right. I don’t know what she wants” JJ followed, driving with a tired expression. 

Altin’s curiosity went beyond his own self protection senses, so he checked JJ’s cell phone to read the messages. JJ watched him but didn’t say anything nor did he stop the Kazakh. He had nothing to hide, it seemed. 

“What does she want now?” JJ sighed, after a while of not hearing any response from his friend. 

“She wishes you good luck with your girlfriend.”

Jean-Jacques’s ability on the brakes weren't very developed at that time, and the vehicle made a horrible sound while it stopped. They heard the horns of the following car on the way, which went ahead realizing the car in front was now completely still. 

Jean’s face was as read as the maple leaf of his country’s flag. He took the phone out of the Kazakh’s reach and then he kept moving the car, dying of embarrassment inside. Otabek didn’t know what to think, and he didn’t understand the fast beats of his heart he was trying to associate with the incident with the car. At the end this was deceiving himself, because he had already noticed the beats just at the moment he read the girl’s message. 

“Ignore her, she’s crazy. She’s even worse than I thought and on top of everything, Mom wants me to be his babysitter, as she does not know the city” He went back to his complaints and Altin didn’t add anything else to the subject, he had his own thoughts to bear with.

Otabek would have enough time later to regret thinking that the young woman was a good addition to their lives. A few weeks after the encounter, Jean-Jacques ended up being a tourist guide, because of the pressure of his mother, and that day in particular, the walkaround was going to be triple because the girl had requested to meet the only best-friend of Jean-Jacques Leroy. 

Overall, everything went fine. They did bowling and also they could notice the girl wasn’t as weak as her appearance, though when they went to the ice rink later it was clear the two males were the only ones with the talent of skating. Altin seemed to watch all the scenes as he was out of his own body, as he could notice the girl’s ability to make Jean express himself, and he was pretty sure that feeling in his stomach was nothing positive. To be exact, Altin’s only interactions with Isabella were the initial greetings, a brief interchange of occupations and then all had been absolute silence, only interrupted by muted nodding and saying “no” with a head movement depending on the case. 

Jean was aware of this. He noticed the day wasn’t going that well at the end of the day, so he made sure to leave Isabella at her home before taking home to Otabek. When the Kazakh was about to leave the car, Jean took him by the wrists, he didn’t want him to leave just yet. 

“Beka...We need to talk” He asked, his friend only nodded without making eye contact, although then he pointed at his home so they entered shortly after. 

“What’s wrong? We have class and training tomorrow” It was the turn for the Kazakh to let his voice run free while he took off his jacket. 

“It won’t take too much time, I only...I wanted to say I’m sorry” The words came out difficult for Jean-Jacques while the Canadian looked at his own feet. 

“I don’t understand”

“You see...I know it was uncomfortable...Today...Hanging out with Isabella...She can talk too much and she can be annoying at times and...” JJ closed his hands into fists and managed to look up at Otabek “It’s been years since it was so hard for you to talk to me...I don’t want to stop being friends with you because of her”

Otabek looked at him, surprised because of that kind of declaration. He let a little laugh escape from his mouth, earning a grunt from the rising star of Canada.

“We’re not gonna stop being friends because of Isabella, Jean. Although, I would prefer not to hang out with her...Anyways, I think she can compete with you in the ‘who-is-more-annoying-speaking’ department’ ” Otabek’s sincerity made him breathe a little bit calmer after that heavy day. 

To the Kazakh’s surprise, he received Jean’s embrace and suddenly he felt weak. With both of their lives so busy, they almost didn’t have time for that kind of demonstration of affection, and even if the Kazakh was too shy to demand it, he really missed that time when they both had time with each other for those things. 

“Beka...I miss you” Jean whispered against Otabek’s cheek, both thinking the same, so Altin tightened the embrace. 

“And I miss you...I don’t like it, but every time is harder and harder” He whispered, close to the heat of JJ’s skin.

“Go out with me, me and you alone...Will you?”

“Okay.”

That night there was a goodbye kiss, although the bitter sensation didn’t seem to go away for any of them. All of their worries threatened to consume them for several reasons, but the thought of expressing their fears speaking aloud was totally out of discussion for the still teenage boys.

* * *

The next day, Otabek got a surprise call from Leroy earlier than expected. Jean said he was just outside the Kazakh’s home, so Otabek washed his face and went to receive Leroy in still in his pajamas. 

It wasn’t necessary to do much more for the sleep to go away in the blink of an eye. Once he opened the door, Otabek found a vision that made him still for a whole minute and his mouth agape before raising one hand and point with his trembling finger what his eyes tried to show him. Was he awake? 

“Beka? Are you ok? I’m talking to you!”

It was hard but Otabek could finally pay attention to what the Canadian was saying. He listened, but instead of responding he got close to Leroy, hugging him so tight he made Jean tremble against the motorcycle he was leaning on, but managing to stay in their own feet so they didn’t make any noises.

“Beka! Your neighbors!” Jean exclaimed, and although he refused the first seconds, Altin put some distance between their bodies so he could admire one of the most perfect creations of humanity. A motorcycle. 

“Oh my...Jean! How’s...What does it mean? I...” Otabek was babbling nonsense, JJ sighed, taking him by the cheeks after looking around and feeling they were safe. 

“It was an idea I had so you can forgive me. I borrowed it from one of the members of the band. But I don’t have permission and my father would kill us if we get caught. I need you to dress so we can run away very fast. We’ll eat breakfast on the road.”

Altin had a hard time moving aside from the thing that looked like an illusion to him. He was ready in no time, with the hair still damp and well dressed, he left the house. He took a seat behind the Canadian after putting on their helmets and they began their journey to the unknown. Altin’s heart was beating a million times per hour, this time he recognized it was because of his own excitement, no complaints on that. 

It was glorious to run around the city so early and at that speed. It was not common on him, but Otabek now sported a smile, even if the driver couldn’t see him since his position. They talked very little while they were moving, until they reached a not so crowded point. When they were on a place they wouldn’t be stopped by the police for doing something illegal, JJ stopped the journey, parking at one side of the street. 

“How was it? Do you like it?” JJ asked without taking off the helmet, getting down the motorcycle. Altin nodded, still excited, even if his face only showed a fresh calm. 

  
  


“You should make me upset more often” Altin joked, he didn’t have any wishes to get down from the motorcycle, and extended his hands to touch the rest of the vehicle ahead of him. From his position he didn’t reach the handle, but soon he was pushed ahead until he could touch it. “Jean?” He asked, puzzled. 

“It’s time you try. I know you’re not gonna kill yourself because we are on a safe zone so everything is controlled” He explained after taking Otabek from the waist so he moved until he was the official driver. 

It wasn’t the best of the class because none of them were experts in the matter but they enjoyed it so much. It was thanks to JJ and his strength they didn’t end up on the floor although the motorcycle was too big even for the both of them. Laughing filled them with every little failure. The hours that passed until they had to go back to reality were enough to fade away the fears living inside them, that day was like one of the happy days they had in their memories. 

“Jean?” Otabek called before they began their way back, the two of them were resting from the helmets before putting them again for protection. 

“Huh?” The Canadian waited for the boy to talk to him, but instead he saw himself being pulled down to receive a kiss, his heart beating so fast threatening to get out of his chest. He stood still in his position until he no longer could feel the Kazakh’s lips over his. 

“Thank you” It was all the Kazakh said. 

The rest of the way home was in silence, despite the good times they have passed together that day. JJ went away fast after Altin finally got down in front of his house. JJ had to return the vehicle to its owner and come back where his family awaited for him, his cellphone full of messages from them. 

Spring was left behind and with that, summer arrived in Canada. Leroy wasn’t the only one busy, Otabek was hit with a very tight schedule between school and his training. He needed to develop his abilities if he wanted to compete as a senior for his country one day, and his coach was demanding everything from him as he did with himself. His time was consumed between studies and the dedication he put into creating, practicing and learning everything that was necessary while the months passed. 

Not everything was working and working. Two days after JJ’s 17th birthday, Otabek got in his hands an invitation for the first official concert of Leroy’s music band. He was happy for him, and even if the environment had turned out somewhat strange, the party seemed nice and everyone looked cool. He could make one familiar face or another within the crowd, some classmates, there was also Isabella, but it was no surprise. It was obvious she had become a friend to Jean, and Altin, who knew the boy’s suffering at the making friends department, saw it as something positive. 

The optimistic feeling went away as fast as it came. The moment that shocked him the most was when the concert was coming to an end. Between the female public’s cries, that Otabek didn’t understand, they made Isabella go up to the stage so she could give Jean a little crown as the king he was, and the euphoric singer left a simple kiss on her cheek as a thank you.

Otabek felt like he was punched in the center of his stomach. Air escaped from his lungs and the pain in his chest felt like he was just given a whiplash, it scared him. Was he sick? He needed air but the public wanted more songs, it was too crowded, which made him difficult to move from his spot. He had to make a big effort to get out of the front row and pass between girl’s bodies who had the head filled with air and probably only looked at the physical aspect of the artist. The air was every time more scarce, and it didn’t let him make much effort. When he was about to give up, a hand took him by his arm to pull him away from the crowd and the dim lights, he saw a worried expression followed by a smile. 

“Altin? I didn’t know you liked this kind of place, it seemed you were not having a good time with the girls” Otabek listened to the voice but he wasn’t able to figure out the exact source of it, everything was blurry. 

“What? Who?” Otabek was still lost and shocked, but finally could focus on the stranger’s face. Still an unfamiliar face. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I know you don’t know me, I’m in my last year at the same institute you go to. I saw you skating in the competition last year”.

Otabek wanted to say something but he just couldn’t do it. Not there, not with all the emotions making a storm inside his body, he even felt the need to throw up. He had just drank some juice so it didn’t make any sense. 

“Come on, you need to get out of here...”

Without finally confirming what he wanted to do, the older young man took Otabek out of the place. Altin followed him in silence, not daring to look back. He didn’t want to see more of the show. He knew it was only that. A show, a performance. But doubts nailed in his chest until they hurt, bringing sadness. What was happening to him? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> Hello again! I’ve brought a longer chapter but it was to make up for the time I took to complete it. 
> 
> I want to make clear that I don’t hate JJ. I love him with the intensity of a thousand suns, but he will begin to behave like an idiot so I think he deserves some punches(?). Also, there are two character introductions, Isabella who everyone knows who she is, I will explain further which is my HC about her relationship with JJ; and on the other hand we have the mystery man(and still with no name) that helped Otabek to calm down at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> So, how was it? Thanks to all. 
> 
> P.D.: As a geeky information, at the end of this chapter JJ is 17 and Otabek 16 years old.   
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and I receive any comment/doubt/cookie, 
> 
> Greetings! 
> 
> —————————————————————
> 
> T/N: On the actual chapter in Spanish the author also offered suggestions but I didn’t translate that part as it doesn’t make any sense now that the fic is completed. 
> 
> I love Isabella and I love JJ like a lot, but I agree with the author. I fear for Otabek. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, don’t forget to send your love to @NoireRigel
> 
> See you next chapter!


	6. Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me, that’s why I still don’t have all the merch I want.  
> Warning: This fic has BL, angst, in the future yaoi, violence and some profanity(swear words), if you feel uncomfortable with those themes please close this tab and look for something more suitable to your liking. 
> 
> T/N: It’s been a while. Real life gets in the way and also 400K+ fanfiction wild monsters appear to consume what’s left of my life.

_“Come on, you need to get out of here...”_

Those were the words of his savior, and now Otabek could see him with more light, the face felt somewhat familiar, although not enough for recalling names or completely recognizing the boy. 

“By the way, I’m Drew, I mean, Andrew, but everyone calls me Drew” The young man introduced himself. 

“Otabek” He answered, still shocked by what he had seen, oblivious he wasn’t being sociable at that time. 

“You came because you’re the singer’s friend, aren’t you?” The Canadian insisted with a calm expression. “If you came more often I would have seen you, I work here sometimes.”

“Andrew...I, I have to go, thanks and goodbye” Otabek interrupted the conversation attempt the boy made with him. Without looking back, he left the place and as soon as he could take a taxi, he disappeared from the surroundings. Meeting with Jean was the least thing he wanted right now, he would have to give him an excuse for not staying until the end. 

Hours later, the Kazakh had to push himself to answer the messages and lost calls Jean had left him, because the Canadian threatened to go to his home if he didn’t give him a life signal. Altin knew him in those aspects, so he opted for the decision that’ll make the less damage, for Jean and for himself. They didn’t talk again about what happened that night, there were no chances, there was no time, and the sweet gestures were lost between them once the Kazakh stopped trying. For his own disappointment and sadness, Leroy seemed unaware they didn’t have the same close friendship they had had before anymore.

A month after that first concert, with Altin’s birthday coming closer, both Jean and Otabek were studying after class for special tests. Ice training could not continue before they had their studies finished so that was a matter they had to pay attention to. The Canadian didn’t look at all focused on his textbook, he only was drawing some scribbles on the edge of the page, things that didn’t go unnoticed by the Kazakh. 

“Is something wrong?” Altin asked after a long time. 

“Uh? Nothing...Just...Uhm...” Jean was unable to complete his ideas out loud, so he bit his lips and stayed quiet again. 

“Jean...Talk,” Altin asked with all the calm he was capable of. 

“Mhm...Ok, I’ll tell you” JJ said, although he took a few seconds to finally decide to explain to Otabek “Mom is worried because the group of fans is growing faster and faster since I started officially with the music. The other day, I wasn’t at home, but Mom told me someone went to deliver a gift. They tried to reject it, but it was a very persistent young girl and...” He sighed, trailing off.

“So, I think they are very persistent if they reach your own home...What else?” Otabek had to question, as he didn’t understand yet. 

“Mom believes that the best for me is to show I have a life...Well...Already established.” JJ massaged his scalp, averting his gaze. He looked out of the corner of his eye to his listener, and finding out he didn’t understand, he groaned to continue “You know very well I don’t have a girlfriend or anything like that, I’ve never had...But I’ve been thinking, and maybe, I could talk with Isabella...”

Otabek’s heart started to beat faster than normal, and it wasn’t pleasant. The weight on his chest was attacking him again and he wasn’t prepared for defense. He put his hands into fists, his lip trembling slightly, before talking. 

“I’m sorry, I think I do not understand. Talk to Isabella, about what exactly?” He dared to ask, his confused eyes focused on his friend. 

“She is single, and she has time, I need to have something more formal so the stuff with the fans doesn’t bother my family...” Jean was explaining in a low voice. 

“You’re joking, right? Are you going to ask her to be your fake girlfriend? Do you think that’s a game?” Otabek was really thinking JJ was making a bad joke, the Kazakh’s expression changed from calm to serious. 

“Of course it is not a game!...You know I don’t even like her, it would just be like the lesser damage” JJ tried to justify himself.

“I can’t see what is the lesser damage in something like that. Also, do you even know how to treat a girl?” No, nothing about what the Canadian was talking about had any sense. The worst was that in all that conversation, there has been no mention about what was gonna happen to them so far, while JJ did his thing with that fake relationship.

“You’re not understanding, it’s not that I have many options. What were you waiting for? I can’t declare myself as a homosexual if I’ve always been heterosexual, besides, I trust Isabella and I know she won’t ask anything from me...”

“How do you know that? How do you know she will accept that? Oh, no, wait, you already talked to her...” Understanding everything was a slap on the face for Otabek. Jean wasn’t asking for his opinion about this, he was just telling him what was gonna happen. 

“I only talked to her about the doubts I had and she didn’t seem so surprised, like you right now. Actually she told me she will help me, and she understood my problem” JJ was telling him all of that without looking at his eyes. That hurt even more. 

“Your problem is that you don’t know what you’re saying or the damage you’ll cause, but of course, if Isabella accepts then it’s wonderful!” After packing all his things, Otabek left his seat looking at his watch, he didn’t care about lying in that moment, he really didn’t want to spend one more second close to Jean-Jacques Leroy. “I’ll go ahead, I have to go talk with the coach.”

“Beka? We haven’t finished talking! Beka!”

Leroy didn’t react in time, according to him, there was still room for the conversation to finish on good terms, but Otabek didn’t think so, and before the Canadian could say something else, Otabek left and closed the door. 

Otabek could hear the Canadian’s voice, but he didn’t plan to fall on that. His steps rushed all the necessary so he could get away from everything and everyone. And, as he expected, from a few days before, he ended up meeting Drew on the exit door. 

“Otabek? Is everything ok?” The calm of the young boy wasn’t received well by him. 

“Andrew, I don’t have time now...” He tried to explain, trying to get out. 

“Oh, of course, I’m sorry. But, eh, can I have your number? I think we should see each other sometime to do something. I have good friends and they would serve you well to leave the ice routine you have, do you understand? Hahaha” Definitely, laughing came at a bad timing so Otabek denied it with his head. 

“I appreciate that but it’s not...It’s not necessary”

Otabek wasn’t having too much luck that day. Before Drew was gone, he left a paper on the Kazakh’s hand, which had Drew’s phone number. Otabek saved it on the bottom of his pocket before disappearing. The least thing he wanted was Jean-Jacques coming right after him, unless it was for telling him everything was a big joke. The shock left him with a lost expression, believing he was part of a very cruel nightmare. Or was he the one who was blind all the time?

For worse, the nightmare was not over, it only got more and more real. A week later he found out firsthand the Canadian had already started to go out with Isabella. Jean himself told him as if there was no big deal while they were talking about another topic, but for Otabek it was like a slap in the face, so he kept himself silent for the rest of the afternoon, avoiding every possible contact with that boy. Because, as much as Jean-Jacques wanted to keep the small closeness they had, it wasn’t possible anymore. Otabek had started to feel sick everytime he had Jean close, and although he didn’t understand completely, he did know the cause very well.

Maybe it would have been easier to accept if everything that happened between them had become just a far memory. But with Jean things were never easy. He had to see him being all a gentleman with the Yang girl in social events, look at how they touched hands in public and even watch how they shared a couple of soft kisses in front of everyone. At the end of the day, when the Canadian received good news or needed support, the first one that he called was Otabek. He called him at night to tell him things about his siblings, he gave him surprise hugs when there was something to celebrate, like the time he was told his first single was on the top sales. Unlike Leroy, Altin wasn’t blind. He could feel the intense gaze of Isabella over Jean-Jacques, and how uncomfortable he felt rejecting something that was so common before between him and Otabek. 

At the end of October, Altin’s birthday, they were supposed to celebrate together, as they were doing it so far, but reaching Leroy’s home and finding out Isabella was there, Otabek knew there was no cause. Did he really think all that pantomime was gonna end someday? Because apparently, he was becoming delusional. All of them were grown ups now, so they went out to party that day. The younger skater wanted to say no but he saw himself dragged to the place, and in the middle of another couple and groups celebrating Halloween — or maybe birthdays, too— he found himself in one of the worst birthdays he’s had in his short life. 

Otabek was sitting on one of the benches after rejecting JJ’s invitation to dance with him. JJ then was dragged to the dance floor by Isabella, who insisted they must enjoy the party at its fullest. Now the Kazakh looked at his drink like all the answers were inside it, because he didn’t understand on what point of the road he messed up enough so everything turned out the way it was now. 

“Altin! I asked if you were going to come and no one knew to tell me if you’d show up” A familiar voice made him turn around slightly.

“Andrew” He said his greetings, stoic. His blank expression has been developed very well in the last months. 

“I’m so glad! I had the feeling you’ll be coming so I brought this with me” Andrew got something out of his pocket, giving a little package to Otabek, now confused but took it anyway.

“What about this?” He asked, not even thinking of opening it.

“Ah, today it’s your birthday, isn’t it?” The boy’s face showed calm and expectation. 

Finally, watching Andrew’s hopeful expression, Otabek had no choice but to open the package. A pair of black leather gloves revealed before his eyes, and after a moment of shock, he thanked the boy.

“Wow, I’m so glad, I was afraid you wouldn’t like them. I saw you hardly use gloves but the weather here tends to become horrible” Andrew explained and took the gloves himself to show the details it had. 

“They’re gonna be very useful. Thank you Andrew...I just” Otabek wasn’t sure how he had to continue the conversation, looking everywhere but the boy’s eyes. He had never been good at facing strangers. 

Otabek’s eyes landed on the King himself. He did look like a king on the dance floor while giving turns between laughs with the lucky girl that was beside him. Altin felt the pressure again, but didn’t avert his gaze for several seconds, something that caught Andrew’s eye, who groaned at his side. 

“Andrew, I really do appreciate your worry but I don’t understand. Why are you doing all of this? Did you really ask if I would come to the party?” Well, that came out harder than he thought, but he really didn’t understand what that boy had in mind. 

That was the first time he saw Andrew lose some of his composure. He could notice he had his eyes on the floor the first seconds, changing his body language to something more tense until he pulled himself together and looked straight at Otabek’s eyes.

“I thought I was being very evident” The Canadian confessed, running a hand by his short, curly hair. “Look, it is not what I usually do, but since you do not seem to understand...” His body got close over the Kazakh, with a hand on the bar. 

“What is what I don’t understand?” It was Otabek’s turn to ask, putting some distance between them realizing what the boy had just done. 

“That I am interested in you. Like, very much. You do not need to answer, I am very patient. But, at least, would you give me a chance?” He whispered with the most serious expression Otabek had seen him wear so far. 

Between the shock and awe, Otabek didn’t know what to do. He looked with his opened eyes to the boy he had in front and his gaze averted for a second to the other skater, who was approaching with Isabella in his arm and seemed to not notice Otabek there. 

“We’re not all the same...” Drew commented, tired of losing Otabek’s attention, although he managed to see the forming smile on his lips. 

“...It’s ok” The Kazakh answered, so low that it was barely audible.

“You say it for real?!” Andrew said almost too excitedly, he was prepared for a straight rejection. He took the Kazakh by the arm without a doubt. “Come on, I want you to meet my friends. The other time you didn’t let me and now you can’t escape. Besides I want you to see something else, did I say I like music?”

Listening to Andrew wasn’t so hard after that. If Otabek focused on the many things the boy was saying then he didn’t need to pay attention to anything else. He didn’t have much to do there anymore, so he left the place with Andrew. The friends Andrew had talked about didn’t give him the best first impression, but once he got to know them better, he found himself in a place where he could laugh freely after so many months of being lost and alone. They really were nice people once you gave them the chance. Now he could say his birthday wasn’t a complete failure.

On the other side of the coin, there was a lonely king that started to feel overwhelmed by a sensation he didn’t know. He had enough problems in his life to also see how Otabek was dragged out of the party and the frustration of not being able to do anything about it made his blood burn. He did know Isabella got mad at him because of his behavior, but he didn’t want to hear her scolding him or hearing a lecture from her. The party ended early for them when Leroy said he wanted to go home. A few moments later, Jean-Jacques was at Otabek’s home, giving up when there was no one who answered the three times he stood in front of the Kazakh’s door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hello again! I took longer to write this chapter but the angst in it was something hard to cook and bring in a decent plate.  
> Again, I do say I don’t hate JJ, I’m JJ protection Squad(?) but for the sake of this story and for explaining the future in canon, this guy needed to be the idiot he was during the last chapter and that got worse in this one.  
> I hope it’s not too forced the introduction of Andrew - Drew for friends, it’s a necessary character along with his friends, because Beka needs to have good friends, needs other people next to him for not staying alone.  
> Inside the JJBek universe, if we can call it that way, I think the most reasonable thing is that the relationship with Isabella was born this way at the beginning. Don’t make me wrong, she is NOT the villain, she was just helping a friend in need.  
> Thank you so much for your comments and have a good night.
> 
> ——————————-
> 
> A/N: I wanted to punch JJ in this chapter. Like, I am a JJ girl, I am a JJ protection Squad girl as well, but I really, really wanted to punch him in the face. Dammit! While I was translating I was like “You son of a…” many times, many many times! (and I didn't want to call out Nathalie Leroy as I respect her so I didn't finish that sentence) 
> 
> I want Otabek to be happy as well and I loved Andrew’s introduction too. He seems cool.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and also thank you so much for your kudos! <3  
> That would be it for now, please be safe in this trying times and see you next chapter!


	7. Reality Check

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:   
> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me, if it did JJBek would be canon.
> 
> T/N:   
> It's been a while.

Since Otabek was a little kid, he had learnt there were multiple ways to do things, and that he shouldn’t fear changes. Everything he had lived up to this point had taught him that lesson, although not always a nice way. So, even if his heart was hurting when he was thinking too much, he gave himself the opportunity to meet someone else, and even if he was still hurting for all the recent events, the general result was positive. 

Otabek couldn’t complain. Besides his relationship with Jean, if he could call it that way, Otabek didn’t know how to be in a relationship, in a couple. Andrew was patient to wait for him and treat him the way he deserved. The day the boy asked him to have something more official, two months after his birthday, the Kazakh said yes without much doubt.

The days returned to have some color in them, they were a lot nicer than the last few months since everything seemed to become grey with his sheer existence. Drew and his friends were nice, they were people which he felt comfortable with, and given the fact his — now — boyfriend used to participate in several parties as a DJ, when they were alone he taught him how to do mixes, giving him advices about the music seeing how interested Otabek was in the topic. The fact they shared the music taste helped them have more conversation topics, even if the Kazakh’s personality was shy or taciturn in the most, he used to express himself better when something caught his interest, so the Canadian knew more about Otabek that way. 

Their relationship was known by most people but nothing explicitly public. Otabek had always prefered his privacy and Andrew respected it, although that didn’t count for the times they were having fun or going out on dates. Most part of the time they were alone or along Drew’s friends that ended up becoming his own friends as well. They respected Otabek even if he was minor, they told him he was mature for his age. 

One or another rumor flew through the school, but no malicious words were able to pull Otabek apart from Drew. Not even the looks he received from Jean-Jacques from time to time, nor the messages Leroy sent him since the day he confirmed visually and for the first time what happened with the one who had been his first friend in life. For the sake of peace, Altin only gave him monosyllabic responses, and sometimes he didn’t even answer. It wasn’t worth it. 

Because of the Kazakh’s behavior, JJ justified all the overprotective side he showed since the very same day someone gave him the news. At first he thought it was going to be something casual, but as the weeks kept coming and turning into months, the stress was taking a toll on the Canadian, and he wasn’t being able to react in a good way before what he saw as a loss. Of course he never used that word, he had no way to explain what he was feeling. 

JJ’s relationship with Isabella was still the same, although they still haven’t passed the line they drew at the beginning of itself, it was still a lie, a fake relationship. They did all the things couples do when they were in public. The fact Yang was his friend only helped him, because she was understanding and kind, but not when the topic was Otabek. On that particular day, a party was going to be held in a local bar. Jean was going to celebrate his eighteenth birthday and he was going to do it big. He hadn’t expected Otabek to take him very seriously when he told him he could bring whoever he wanted to the party. 

“Why don’t you just leave him alone?” Isabella asked him for the nth time that night, Jean-Jacques was too evident when it was about looking at the other couple. 

“Huh? What are you talking about? I’m not saying anything” He replied back, although his frown was still present, looking at the other two boys who were standing a few meters from him, too close for JJ’s taste. 

“JJ please, just grow up already” Isabella told him, getting up from her chair.

“Isa? What are you doing? I’m only worried, OK?” He took her by the forearm, trying for her not to leave him alone in those moments. 

“Why are you worried? Altin is no longer a child and he knows how to take care of himself. I agree the guy isn’t precisely the most decent thing you can find but besides his weird friends, there’s nothing wrong with him” She voiced her opinion, still standing. 

“Now you support that thing too?”

“That  _ ‘thing’ _ ? Are you really, truly not capable to even say it? They are  **boyfriends** JJ. And they had been for months now. You should be happy for him instead of waiting for your glaring to change something. Besides, Why do you care so much what Altin does?”

“I already know they are boyfriends, for God’s sake, Isa! And of course, I am worried about Otabek, he is my...” He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, squeezing a little harder the glass he had on his hands. 

Isabella gave him an exhausted look, setting herself free from JJ’s grip to walk away from him looking for someone nicer to talk to. She wasn’t planning to stay with this boy until his idiotic moment passed, but of course this was a mistake she will regret later that night. Jean watched her walk away and then he turned his gaze to Otabek. He was standing with Andrew, then Andrew pulled the Kazakh closer, hugging him between laughs, then gave him a small kiss on his lips…

What the hell? He almost let the glass go to the floor. He didn’t want to think about what he had just seen, even if this wasn’t the first time he had seen them kissing...He hated every second he had to be a spectator of that, but what he loathed the most was knowing that part of what he was feeling was sheer envy of not being him the one taking Otabek that way. For his own disgrace, he had to listen to the voice inside his head reminding him that the fact he no longer could be the one taking Otabek’s hand was totally and completely his own fault. 

It was ok. He knew he deserved that loss feeling. But, did they really have to do that kind of scene on his birthday? His day? JJ’s day? He was lost in all those poisoned feelings when his eyes crossed with eyes which didn’t usually see his own. It was Andrew, looking at him from his position with an expression he couldn’t read, but to JJ looked like a challenge. For real that seedy DJ dared to threaten him from afar and in his own party?

He wasn’t in the mood to put up with so much. As Altin has retired somewhere else, and JJ didn’t have anyone to stop him, with steady pace he got closer to Andrew without breaking eye contact, not hiding his own annoyance in the least so it was clearly visible for the other boy. And of course he didn’t have to do much effort to show how pissed he was. 

“You are looking at me a lot, do you have a problem with me?” JJ was the first one to speak

“I could ask the same question to you, if you want to spy others you need to be a little less evident” The arrogant tone of Drew only made JJ’s insides burn.

“It’s my party and I want to look whoever I want, besides, shouldn’t you be wishing me happy birthday at least now that you’re here?”

“Trust me when I tell you I didn’t come because of you” Andrew answered before averting his gaze away from the skater. 

Jean had a few seconds to go think about his possibilities. But rage was making his thoughts hazy, so he chose the exact path that a mentally sane person would not take. He put his hands on the curly hair man’s shoulder, tightening his grip receiving an instant rejection from Andrew, who took a step back immediately. 

“Let’s go outside, ok? We can’t speak in here”

Actually, Andrew did have things to discuss with that conceited and nosy Leroy, so he didn’t put resistance and followed the skater’s steps. His friends were near, they exchanged a few looks and followed him short after. 

“So, we’re outside, what exactly did you want to talk about, Leroy?”

“I could make a long speech and number the reasons, but I’ll go straight to the point. What's with you and Otabek? Seriously, I don’t know what do you expect to get out of him”

“Excuse me? Since when do I have to give explanations about what I want or don’t want to do with my partner?” Andrew shot back at JJ’s nerve, looking at him without believing what he was hearing. 

“I’m honestly concerned about him. He’s here, alone, away from his homeland and a boy who clearly does not have the best...” He pointed all of Andrew with his hand “Hmp, you understand. Besides he’s still in high school and you only got your degree recently because you had to repeat the course. What part of you can possibly be a good influence?”

The usually calm expression of Drew had long gone. He looked at himself and then at the other boy, they had similar heights so he didn’t have to do much effort looking at him at the eyes and with every single word he spoke his own indignation grew. 

“Look, Leroy, I know you believe you’re the king of the world, but you’re the king of nothing. You have no right to talk about me, about my clothes or whatever you had wanted to say to point at me like that. I know Beka better than you do, and I know what’s good for him, and it’s crystal clear I shouldn’t be the one that should step away and learn to lose.”

“Beka?” JJ repeated, feeling an already familiar pain. He didn’t like how that intimate nickname sounded in another’s lips. “Losing? Me? I don’t know what the hell are you talking about. Don’t think too much of yourself only to be playing to be his boyfriend, I was the one who was close to him since he arrived and an idiot who needs to have his friends around to talk to me doesn’t have the right to tell me what to do!”

“You’re only a kid, Leroy. I’m not playing with him, not like another person did before. At least I know how to keep my friends, do you even know how to do that? Because trust me your wannabe underlings don’t count at all”

“Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?!” Jean exploded, giving the step he needed so he could grab Andrew by the shirt and put him closer so he could listen properly to what he wanted to say to him “Do not mess with Otabek and me, do you hear me? You are only ruining Altin’s public image with your ridiculous demonstrations and I am not going to allow that a fucking seedy asshole get close to him to get into his pants!”

Andrew’s friend's voices became a little buzzing for Andrew. He had a golden patience, usually. But everything had a limit and that little boy from a golden cradle was going too far, to the point of offending who he really loved and that, that he wasn’t going to allow. 

“Do you want to know who you’re talking to?” He asked with a thread of voice, receiving an incomprehensible look from Leroy. His hand, which he had been holding in a fist from several seconds ago didn’t hesitate to move by itself giving a certerous hit at the skater’s sides “Fuck you, Leroy.”

Said and done. When the boy was recovering from the shock, it was his other hand that moved to give another blow directly on the face, the chorus of that first interchange were the voices of his friends, as always encouraging him to go on, and the painful moans of his opponent. He didn’t use to fight, of course he didn’t. But he knew how to do it, and he did it when it was necessary. That moment had come and no one was going to stop him now. 

“Did you just…?” JJ asked, coughing and with his body slightly leaned to one side, in a defensive stance. He still hadn’t recovered from the punches and his head was spinning, he lacked air. No, he wasn’t going to be left behind. He managed to put his body in position and although he thought using his arms, it was his leg the one that moved for giving a kick to Andrew’s side to unbalance him “Fuck you!”

Drew couldn’t stop it and a painful moan made JJ know he had his limbs well trained. None of them stopped after that. While Jean, who was noticeably less experienced in fighting tried to give punches without thinking, the other young man waited for the perfect moment so his own impacts were strong and steady. In a moment, both of them were struggling, Leroy used his legs again and both of them fell to the floor with a loud thump, where they ended up interchanging punches between curses. 

“ANDREW! JEAN!”

Altin’s scream made the boy unfocused and received a full blow from JJ in the nose, soon after a familiar wet sensation was sliding down his face. He looked through his hazed gaze how his friends tried to refrain his boyfriend from entering in the fight, and then he noted, while on the floor next to a panting idiot, that other people had joined as spectators, including his rival’s girlfriend, everyone was screaming different and incomprehensible things. 

It seemed the skater was even more stubborn and lacking common sense that he had previously thought, because even if Andrew had him writhing in pain next to him, he felt Leroy’s hand taking him again by his shirt. 

“I...I told you...You’re a bad influence...You’re not...You’re not going to take advantage of him...You’re not good enough for him” Jean babbled, he didn’t care about the people who were looking. 

Andrew was fed up of all that stupidity. He took the skater’s hand and twisted his wrist in a non-natural position, the screaming from Leroy now took place, he probably had never felt a similar pain before. Andrew was blind of rage, he took position over Leroy and started to hit him over and over again. First he gave his punches on his opponent’s torso, then on the face, dreaming that his hand will make that ridiculous smile disappear forever. It wasn’t until he heard his friend’s screaming that he stopped, they told him someone had called the police. 

Andrew was tired, Jean-Jacques’s whining didn’t care for him, but he wanted to give him a last message, the one he wanted to say since the beginning, and he didn’t wanted to share it with their public so he leaned in close enough to talk to the boy at his ear, he needed to spit this truths. 

“You have the goddamn fault of everything. You’re a rich, cocky, self-centered kid who thinks he can step over other people. But you like it or not, Otabek is with me now. Otabek Altin is my boyfriend. And I am going to take care of him, especially from you and whoever wants to get in our way. Do you think I give a fuck if I hit you again? Next time it’s going to be your legs if you disrespect him, my friends or myself again.” Andrew knew Jean-Jacques was listening, as he felt him moving below him. “You said I only wanted to get in his pants, and I have news for you...I already did and more than once. So take your crown and fuck off, Leroy”

Jean-Jacques was actually listening. The more Andrew talked, the less he wanted to continue. He growled, kicked and tried to get himself free from the other boy to no avail, and thanks to his frustration he had to listen to something he would prefer never to have listened to in his life. 

“Son of a bitch!” JJ cursed, managing to push Andrew enough so he could get rid of the boy above him but before he could do something else, the motherfucker’s friends pulled him out of his reach, helping him stand. 

“Drew! Shit! Leave him already! We have to get out of here!” One of his friends told him, making Andrew walk away from the fight. 

Andrew then could see Otabek’s expression, their eyes found each other. Another one of his friends had him grabbed by the arms, but Otabek was no longer resisting. What he saw on his face drained him, like ice in his heart. 

“How could you?” The Kazakh asked him with a broken voice. His eyes were red because of the tears he had cried watching all the scenes, not understanding how nobody was able to stop them in time. 

And Drew couldn’t believe what he saw when the boy finally was released from the grip and instead of going directly to him, his partner, in less than five seconds Otabek was on his knees in front of Leroy who still was complaining about his hand, still in an unnatural position and made a mess on the floor. Andrew wasn’t capable of understanding this fact, and was carried off from that place by his friends. His eyes were stuck on the scene while he was forced to walk back, looking at the boy he had been defending interchanging a look that had nothing to do with friendship with the other Canadian that now was on Otabek’s lap while he waited for the ambulance that Isabella had called. 

“JJ, what were you doing? For God’s sake, you don’t know how to fight! I’m gonna call your parents! ” Isabella cried, still shocked for what she had seen and she wasn’t able to stop. 

Her voice sounded distant at the fallen king’s ears, still in shock for the turn of events and for the thing she wasn’t able to stop before. 

But her voice was just buzzing in the fallen king’s ears, who was lying on his friend’s lap looking at him with a defiant expression. 

“This was the most stupid thing you’ve done. Why were you here outside with him? Do you have any idea how worried I was when I saw you on the floor?” 

Altin’s words instead of making the skater reconsider his life, only managed to make Jean-Jacques make a horrible smile with his mouth full of blood. 

“I had to do it...” It was the only thing the boy said. 

And that was all the explanation he gave when his horrified parents had to ask about what had happened. Because of JJ’s wrist injury, he would not be able to train for a few weeks and a denouncement was put under Andrew. Given both of them had participated in the fight in equal conditions, no charges were made from either part, but the birthday party did end early that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hello again! We’ve come to the violent part of the business. Since now I am sorry for the language but it was necessary for our young one’s expressions.   
> I don’t hate JJ! But in this chapter he deserved every single hit he got and more because he was stupid. Andrew had enough patience but then he ran out of it and everything went down from there.   
> What to say about Otabek? The poor guy is so confused he left his boyfriend alone only to stay with the king.   
> Thanks so much for comments and reading!   
> About the approx dates of the incident, this is for JJ’s 18th birthday(July 15th) so during that month, Otabek is already 17.   
> See ya!   
> \---------------------------------------------  
> T/N: 
> 
> I love Andrew. JJ deserved the punches. But not his wrist injury.   
> Otabek, JJ, you are both breaking my heart. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!   
> See you next chapter!


	8. Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: YOI doesn’t belong to me. If it did they would already be boyfriends.

August came as a difficult month for everyone. While Jean had already had some weeks getting better from his wounds, when he was told Altin still had his disastrous engagement, the king felt worse than at the beginning because it meant his efforts had not been enough for the guy to understand that his relationship was wrong. Will he have to tell him directly? Should he listen to that other voice that told him Andrew was right and he needed to leave them alone? After all, they were a couple in every sense. At least Andrew had made it clear, and even when the feeling made him sick, he couldn’t tear apart from his imagination the vision of a semi-nude Otabek with the bastard of Andrew above him. 

But not everything went so good for Drew, less for Beka. With almost 8 months of being an official couple, discussions were almost on a daily basis, the Kazakh still reproached him about the incident that happened on Leroy’s birthday, and Andrew was not able to fake feeling really sorry about what he had done. After all, it had been the singer who had started the fight, only he wasn’t the one who ended it. 

“Beka, please...Until when are you gonna be like this with me?” He asked in the tense silence they were in, after Altin rejected him when Andrew wanted more than the short kisses he had been given that day, which Altin had the free afternoon. 

“Like this? How?” Otabek pretended not to understand the boy, fixing the clothes the others disarranged. It wasn't as he didn’t want to touch him, he was still just a bit indignant. 

“You know what I am talking about...You’re like this since that party, I already told you I’m sorry! I already told you I didn’t really want to hurt him so bad he had to lose his training!” He lied pretty decently, because he remembers perfectly his intentions to hurt that boy. 

“Do you think this is just about his wrist? It’s not that simple Andrew.” The skater snorted, already tired of the eternal discussion. 

“How is it then?” The older one asked for an explanation.

“You didn’t have to hit him that hard and you know it. He is younger than you!” Altin finally demanded, looking at him with a tired expression. 

“But...Don’t you understand?  _ I did it for you! _ ”

Silence created a wall between them. Otabek stood silent besides the sudden understanding of a fact that he had been trying to ignore during all those months. Something he wasn’t capable of escaping even if he tried. The only thing keeping him from giving a complete opportunity to Andrew, and it had everything to do with himself, because he couldn’t blame anyone else for his own mistakes. Despite everything that had happened, despite all the time he had suffered. Despite knowing there wasn’t a path in his future and that it was a lost cause...Otabek still  _ loved  _ Jean. 

And being with another person wasn’t going to solve it. Not while he had to coexist with the other boy everyday at school, at the rink, and at every damn single place of that country. Because everything reminded him of him, even when he was alone with Andrew, in the intimacy, every time the other boy decided to share what he felt in French, memories clouded Otabek’s mind, and he had to look for a thousand ways to ignore what his heart was screaming. 

“I have to go...”

“What? Beka, no. Please, we can talk about it. We can...Not talk about it if you want. Just...Stay, Ok? Today is your only free afternoon in weeks and I really need to spend time with you, do you hear me?” He hated sounding that desperate, needed. He didn’t care if the Kazakh was the one who listened. 

“I...I’m sorry. We’ll see each other another day and I’ll send you a message when I get home.”

A cold kiss in the lips was the goodbye. Andrew stood looking at the ceiling after Otabek disappeared and when he knew he was completely alone, in a spurt of rage he punched the wall, hurting himself in the process and cursing even the wind because of his own clumsiness. Why did he feel he was ruining everything? He didn’t want to use time to think about Leroy but for cursing him he needed to pronounce the name of that stupid brat and between his teeth he wished him all the evil in the world. 

For his own sorrow, Otabek didn’t feel better with the passing days. He wasn’t like this. He couldn’t hurt someone or use him without feeling bad in the process and that was giving him a terrible conflict about what was happening between Andrew and him. Of course he liked that boy, he almost loved him. In other circumstances, he surely had loved him completely. But it was not enough with an ‘almost’ and he knew that. But that wasn’t the only thing he had to worry about, his coach gave him some news one morning, and then he knew it was time to do the right thing. Maybe this was the only way…

His mind was overwhelmed because of the pending assignments and problems he had in life, he wasn’t on guard enough for caring about his surroundings, and when he saw where his feet had taken him he cursed in silence. That little park, too close from Jean-Jacques’s house, was where he had received the very first kiss in his life, one he wouldn’t be able to forget because he saved it as a precious treasure despite what had happened with the one who was giving him mixed and bittersweet emotions. 

He didn’t feel like looking for another refuge, so he kept walking and took a seat on the bench where long time ago he had sat with Leroy for receiving his birthday present, the one which changed everything for both of them before they were able to stop time. 

“I thought you didn’t remember anymore...It was here, right?” The voice he knew from memory iced his blood but he held himself together.

“It wasn’t me who forgot everything.” Otabek whispered looking out on the corner of his eye to the other boy who sat beside him. 

He could see how the boy caressed the bench’s wood. It was too much for him. The least he wanted was to bring to his life memories that hurt him so much because of the sweetness they had. He tried to get up but the Canadian kept him in place and he stood half way in getting up and staying. 

“You’ve healed.” He commented after seeing Leroy could already move both hands with ease. The marks in his face had disappeared and now they just seemed to be a far remember there where the skin had been hit harshly. 

“Yes, the doctor said I don’t need to skip training anymore. It wasn’t so bad after all.” He informed, letting Otabek go, knowing he would stay there with him. 

“The bad part is, you do not accept you were wrong.”

“Are you going to start again? I’ve told you, it was necessary” Being scolded that way from the younger one didn’t make him feel better so he snorted. 

“What part of beginning a fight on your birthday could be necessary?” The Kazakh asked, indignant.

Jean-Jacques who still wasn’t sure of the things he felt, looked down and decided to be sincere. Or at least he tried. 

“I was...I was fighting for you. Your little boyfriend didn’t tell you?”

“Don’t call him like that” Otabek whispered, even if the first sentence hit him like fire in his chest. “And don’t lie. You wouldn’t do anything for me.”

“I’m hurt you say that and I can’t believe you are still with him after what he did to me.” He claimed while looking at the other skater. 

“What he did to you was your own fault. Unlike you, he actually accepts he was wrong. And does it hurt you? Really? Are you serious? What do you know about what hurts?”

“It is because he is deceiving you and you are believing him” The Canadian retorted. 

“You’re impossible, Leroy.”

Silence accommodated between them once again. Tension could be smelled in the air. One of them, the most impulsive, kept the lips almost open, preparing his next words, the ones he shouldn’t say, while the other, bit his tongue for not ruining the things beyond what they already were. It was a shame he didn’t know things had already been ruined from long ago and nothing existed to go back in time before everything became a disaster. 

“Do you know what he told me that day at the end? He talked to me about all that shitty relationship you two have, he threatened me he was going to break my legs the next time and even he confessed to me you had already had him in your bed...It was horrible. I don’t understand what you are doing with a guy like him, Do you have any idea how I felt at that moment?”

Otabek was shocked, unbelieving about what he had just listened to. He looked at him, doubting about the Canadian’s mental state. But the boy did not seem to catch the message of his stare and then the younger didn’t know, of everything, which thing he should demand first.

“How do you do it? Explain it to me.” He asked, shaking his head. 

“Doing what? What are you talking about?” the older one looked at him confused.

“How do you do for always being the fucking victim of everything? How is it that always everything is about you? How is it that only you are hurt, that only you are the one being hurt? Everything spins around you, always...” The rage was pooling inside Otabek’s body while he fisted his hands without noticing, he couldn’t believe the other’s nerve.

“What are you saying now? We were talking about how he threatened me, of course it is about me.” The singer said back.

“Of course. It is always about you. And you dare to say that my relationship is shit? What about yours? Are you forgetting you’re worse than me?”

“You can’t compare your thing with the one I have with Isa, you know how it is.”

Leroy explained himself in low voice, he didn’t like the tone the conversation was taking, let alone the place they were in. Nothing seemed friendly anymore. 

“No, I can’t compare, because I would never be so little of a man for asking a girl to lie for me, as you do Jean.” The Kazakh finally said.

“Shut up...” Jean asked with his head low. 

“No, now you listen. Everything is about you, isn’t it? Ok, then let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about your stupidity. Let’s talk about you left me with nothing because you didn’t have the balls and then when you saw I found something I could have, you started to get into my life pretending to be my father.” The resentment he had was slowly forming into words, escaping from his lips without filter.

“Beka, please, what are you...”

“Please nothing! ” He strongly shoved Jean before getting up and into the discussion. “Do you think I am stupid? Do you think I don’t know how jealous you were when you saw me with Andrew? Who are you trying to deceive with that thing that you have at least an ounce of heterosexual on your veins?”

“Otabek...Stop. We are close to my house, lower your voice.” This time Jean’s voice was the one climbing tones, he was serious to die while he sat up from the bench. 

With an indignant expression he looked at Otabek, but he received a look that didn’t predict anything good and that it made him understand he was only beginning. 

“I don’t give a shit! I am fed up to have to think for you. I am fed up we always have to check you’re okay. What about me? What about everything I felt for you? Did you think I was going to keep going with that while you ate Isabella’s mouth in front of all of your fans?”

He ended up crying with his eyes closed, and when he opened he could see the desperate expression of Jean-Jacques, just before he punched him directly in the face. The world spun around while the younger boy, who wasn’t used to this, stumbled until reaching the floor. Leroy, scared to death kneeled beside him. 

“Beka? Oh no, no, no, I didn’t want to do this. I’m sorry! Beka, please, look at me! I didn’t know why I did it!” The older boy was entering in a panic state, but it didn’t take too much time for him to get out of it.

The slap sounded in his face making him turn around with the impact’s power, after that they only exchanged a look before they started fighting with punches left and right without worrying about the fuss they were creating. Luckily no one seemed interested in what was happening in that small park so in the middle of struggling they rolled in the ground, like when they were kids and playing, but now they didn’t have a tickle war but a punches fight, sending curses to the air like they really wanted to hurt each other. 

When he realized what they were doing, Leroy decided to stop and to stop Otabek with that. He had to pull with force, between many groans and little punches he received, until he managed to contain the Kazakh’s body who twisted in his hands while groaning at him, looking at him with something resembling hate. 

“Beka...Stop...Please…” JJ asked, pinning him on the floor. 

Having him like this, with the arms at both sides of Otabek’s face, he threw reason away. He could notice how tired he was and how tired Otabek was. He looked at the blush the rage had formed in his cheeks and neck, and finally he ended up glaring at the half open lips murmuring horrible words, unable to form sounds. He leaned against him until they were touching their foreheads and he lowered his defenses.

He just barely brushed Otabek’s lips when the Kazakh set his arm free and gave him a powerful hit on the side of the face making him moan of pain before pushing him completely to set all of himself free. Altin with the accelerated breathing, didn’t say anything else and ran away from there. Jean-Jacques wasn’t able to follow him that day. And it was in that moment that the thread tensed so much it seemed it was going to break by itself. 

Less than a week after that discussion, the watch counting the time of both of them, also stopped. The training Otabek had lived in Canada was given as finished and it was time to retire. He didn’t make a lot of fuss then, he didn’t say goodbye beyond the necessary people and even if five days ago he had officially cut the relationship with his boyfriend, the one who was waiting with him, at the airport, was Andrew.

“Do you really have to go? If it’s because of him, I could punch him again even if you hate me later, but you don’t have to run away.” Andrew murmured with an infinitely sad voice. 

“I’m not running away...Well, maybe a little. But the truth is, I need to come back for Kazakhstan Nationals if I want to start my senior career. My coach already told me this is the right moment. ” He explained once again.

“I understand...And, you don’t want me to go with you?” The Canadian suggested with his eyes focused on Otabek. 

For his own surprise, he managed to get a smile out of the Kazakh, and a half laugh from the lips of the one who had been his partner all that time, and who he still loved.

“I pass a lot of the year traveling, and I have to commit myself completely to training if I want to reach the highest point. I know you’re worried about me, but it is not necessary for you to take care of me anymore.”

“It’s okay... ” The young man took his face with the hands and made their foreheads touch. “But, if one day you want to throw everything away, or you need me, you only have to tell me. I can make you give me a new chance, can’t I?”

“Drew...” The Kazakh warned with only one word. 

“Ok, Ok, I was just joking...Write to us from time to time. We’ll all be cheering for you, although I think we need to borrow a bigger TV” Followed by his joke he won a soft hit on the head and a short kiss on the lips. 

“It’s time, I have to go.”

He knew it was the right thing, in every aspect of his life. Leaving the Canadian soil will make him good for his soul, to heal, and leaving Andrew will help him to not feel that awful guilt anymore. That guilt which he knew he possessed even in those moments when he was saying goodbye to him with his hand one last time. Because there was nothing good with wishing the one who was saying goodbye were another person, he himself had made sure of hiding the information of his departure. That’s how it needed to be. 

It was the right thing, it was what he had to do. But it hurt. Oh God,  _ How _ it hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:   
> Hello once again! Everything went to a place too rude to mention.   
> This chapter is the end of the stormy stay of Otabek in Canada, he didn’t suffer all the time, but the ending wasn’t very pleasing for him and he had to notice it the worst way. But let us not fall in despair yet, JJBek is stronger than angst(?). 
> 
> About the dates the situation is, this was during August of Otabek’s 17 years old, that’s when he broke up with Andrew because he couldn’t keep that knowing that in his heart he still held feelings for JJ, and JJ, well, he is still in idiot mode. But he solemnly promises he’s up to paying every single of his faults with blood. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading if you reached here! 
> 
> —————————————————-
> 
> T/N: Does someone have some tissues? I think I got something in my eyes. That’s right! TEARS! **drowns in tears**
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! See you next chapter!


	9. Separate Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Hetero smut scene in the "Canada" part of this chapter.

**Canada**

The following weeks passed slowly for Jean-Jacques. Since the moment he asked the rink owner about the Kazakh’s whereabouts, to know if Otabek had changed training schedules, the truth hurt him worse than all the punches he had received lately. The cold made home in his heart and stood there, in the hole that the boy’s departure left, it wasn’t that he didn’t know that the other skater had the days counted in his country, but he hadn’t expected the moment arrived so soon, let alone Altin hate him so much he wasn’t even able to say goodbye. 

So he understood it was the end. All those years that had passed, all the effort because and for the happiness he had felt for having a friend, all of that stopped caring. He then focused on training, dedicating himself completely to the ice because he felt like that. With his heart hard and frozen, so much it was a hindrance to write new songs even though his music band had him the necessary patience, waiting for it to be only a phase in his life that looked like a brightless copy of himself. 

The only person that was left besides his family, who of course was worried about him and knew nothing about his last discussion with Altin, was Isabella. The girl who was also his friend even though sometimes he forgot it, she stayed by his side even during those days he preferred not to go out because he didn’t feel like it, he didn’t have strength to move, faking he was good with the life he was living. 

Approximately one month after his friend’s disappearance, he hadn’t been able to contact him because of guilt, fear, and part of resentment; he found himself on Isabella’s department, the one she had for herself, hiding from the public life because even if he appreciate the recognition his country and fans gave him, sometimes he just wished to walk with peace around the street. The girl’s company was something he was already used to. He could chat with her about anything, and although from the beginning he had been clear about what he expected from the relationship, lately the confusion was summing up as a revelation. 

He wasn’t sure how they had ended up in that situation. Less than an hour before he was lying on the girl’s lap, after waking up from a short nap he had taken and now they were both naked, one in front of the other, with blushed cheeks, part nervous, part because of the kissing session they had begun some days ago not only in public anymore. 

“I can’t take your first time, it wouldn’t be fair” He whispered, trying not to avert his gaze.

But Yang had read in his eyes the burning desire of his friend, and she couldn’t deny she liked the feeling of being observed that way. Because it was the first time he showed her he could see her like more than a friend, and even if it wasn’t enough for her liking, it was enough to make her hopes grow. 

“It’s not my first time JJ” Isabella lied without doubt, giving the first step on her own. “Besides, this doesn’t mean we are going to stop being friends...” She added, in lower voice. 

Because she knew how much Leroy needed her in those moments and she wanted to believe that those feelings that had developed before she could stop them and that she had to fake something she didn’t have, some day would get their reward. At least that was the thought she focused on believing in those moments. She wanted to keep the head up, thinking positive because if she didn’t, she could break herself. 

He nodded and sighed. Air escaped her lungs for the swift change of pace. Was it really happening or was it just her imagination?

“This  _ is _ my first time so...I hope I can do it well,” Jean whispered, ashamed of his own inexperience. 

“JJ...If you keep talking I’m going to choke you with the pillow! Just do it already!”

“But don’t yell at me!”

They exchanged a look and then ended up laughing. They were both nervous, Isabella knew when she lifted a hand to touch the boy’s chest, just above his heart which was pounding crazy, almost as much as hers. 

And in that same position, Jean entered, slowly. Sensation was weird, he wasn’t used to having his intimacy covered that way, first because of the condom and then because he didn’t know the warmth of being inside another person’s body. He gasped when he felt he had to force the entrance halfway, taking the girl’s hips he pushed until reaching the end. 

The scream she gave scared him, and just then he understood what just happened. He was afraid, on the edge of leaving her at that point but at the mere intention of moving made Isabella cry in pain, making him keep still and guilty there in his position. Why had she lied to him?

“You’re virgin...” He expressed in a loud voice, putting down his eyes and then averting his gaze from the point where they were joined because it looked suddenly more incorrect than before. 

“Not anymore...” She retorted, trying to get used to the sensation but it was hard, because of her inexperience they hadn’t prepared well enough. 

“Why?...” Leroy tried to ask, still confused at the lie. 

“JJ, don’t be an idiot right now...Just...Start moving...”

It wasn’t that hard after trying. His hands tried to soothe the girl touching her in other spots and that worked so her wetness made the contact more pleasurable. The darkness of the arrival of the night fell upon them and then he allowed himself to forget everything , the sensation of living that moment was so different that in an instant of lightness he understood how  _ he  _ must have felt when he was on bed with Drew, and that forced him to pick up the pace and the force of penetration.

“JJ!” Isabella whined, squeezing the sheets below her because of the sudden pain, JJ had moved without care. 

He apologized before moving and cursing internally. In her lips he buried the words he no longer could say, to no one that was on that side of the world. The wetness they shared, the heat they felt on the air, the mixed gasps and moans, everything was spinning on Jean-Jacques’s head, trying to stay in the present without having to imagine something else, but the lack of light was worse than he thought, feeling with fever on the intense moment, a lot of images came to his mind that had been there on his head for weeks. 

“Bek...” He gasped and corrected right away…”B-Bella?” He whispered, and the tension in her body was so evident it felt like a hard stone falling on his head. 

“What did you say?” Yang asked in a cold voice, separating from him cutting all contact to crawl over the sheets until turning on her lamp. 

She stayed still, with half his body turned on the opposite direction of Jean-Jacques. She didn’t want to face him at that moment and she had to bite his lip when he felt the warm hands of him over her thighs. 

“I’m sorry...” Jean asked with a strangled voice. 

Isabella didn’t want to forgive him at that moment. She knew she couldn’t demand feelings from him, but at least, she deserved respect, and she was going to tell him when she felt an unfamiliar warm feeling before a touch that made her tremble. She turned fast so see what that idiot was doing but instead of demanding something from him, when she saw him with his head between her legs, a clear moan escaped her lips while he took care of her with that tongue that it seemed it was useful for something more than talking and talking. 

She wasn’t able to say much more after that. Trying to get mad or faking she didn’t forgive him was impossible before those lost puppy eyes Jean-Jacques wore. But she made sure they won’t do it again in the dark in what they had of life. The wounds both carried in their heart, even if it wasn’t for the same reason, found some relief, but not cure, in the caressing touches they shared. It wasn’t the most sane, it wasn’t the right thing, and even like that it was one of the few things that felt good. 

* * *

**Kazakhstan**

On the other side of the world, hard work was finally paying off for Otabek. To put physical distance was a complete relief, even if the first weeks he passed the night crying in his room. Being home again was strange, he felt like a guest more than the son that had just come back. But his parents made him feel the warmth of the home he had when he was close to the Leroy family, and knowing he could have that on his own was nice. He was thankful. 

Since the moment he understood he wouldn’t forget Jean, he also took the decision he would not look for him anymore. For his own luck and doom the other skater didn’t contact him again since he left Canadian soil. He was sure that because of his work they would have to meet one day but while that didn’t happen, he decided not to dwell in those unnecessary details. He needed to prepare for his Senior debut and everything that came to it, and being recognized in his country served him to be enchanted again with the thing he did not only for himself but for everyone who was rooting for him. 

The part of him that couldn’t heal, he hid it on the back of his heart, as deep as possible. He kept contact with Andrew and his friends the first months, and then, slowly, he was detaching from them. It wasn’t he didn’t want them anymore, it was that their lives had taken a different path, the friendship was not completely lost and he received support in every competition he went, and when he decided to do something he had wanted long time ago. 

Despite his mother’s mortal worried expression, Altin accomplished his dream the day he had his motorcycle. Not every memory from Canada had to be gray and he didn’t want to lose the essence of who he was just because his heart was broken. Every time he drove, he felt free, and that sensation was worth it. 

But he was still young, despite he wasn’t the symbol of socialness, he could forge new friendships in town, and ended up assisting from time to time to some parties when he had the chance, without these interfering with his career as skater, which was still the most important inside his weekly schedule. 

His head was theoretically clear that day, but he knew he wasn’t on his full mind when he found himself in a hotel room with that boy of olive skin and tattoos. It was a one-night stand thing, one that he enjoyed more than he should when he could moan the name he always had guarded deep in his mind without guilt. The stranger didn’t make any complaints and even started to answer as if he was Jean, of course his poor imitation didn’t make him justice, not enough for the skater’s taste. 

And he knew it was wrong. He knew it was like putting salt to the wound, looking for it to heal by force but instead opening it more until it bleed. 

His mother was the one who listened to it then, it wasn’t easy because he hadn’t been so close to her being so far, but when he could tell her some stuff, at least the relevant ones, part of the burden he had been carrying became lighter. She accepted his orientation without any complaints, she said one day she would like to meet Andrew, and she hugged him tight. And that was the point where he couldn’t hold it anymore, he let his tears fall with her. He felt he was losing his soul in crying but it was what he needed. 

Next day he could wake up better, he had decided. He was thinking about living his life no matter what. He was the only one who could do it after all, and while he didn’t forget he was tracing his own path then everything would be okay. Time could heal even the most cruel wounds, and he wanted to believe his mother’s words when she told him, with that special tune she had when she said something she really felt. Her experience had to serve as incentive, and with his mind set and prepared to defeat the obstacles in his way, the path to get to the podium opened up in front of his feet, and Otabek Altin didn’t doubt in taking it. 

It was time to fly again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> Hi again, this chapter is more sour than sweet in all the letters. 
> 
> For the ones who didn’t dare with the smut, here’s the summary: After a month of being without Otabek in Canada, JJ and Isabella have their ‘first time’, only that Isabella fakes not to be virgin so JJ take her with no guilt(In this point she just noticed she feels something for Jean and it’s not precisely friend’s love). The problem is that when they are doing it, at some point, JJ starts thinking in Otabek and ends up saying ‘Bek’ and then tries to fake he said ‘Bella’. 
> 
> As you can see this broke Isa’s heart at that point, realizing JJ hasn’t overcome Beka, but it was just a month, what did she expect? 
> 
> Otabek, on the other side, is starting to accept his new life. Maybe not the best because he had a one-night stand with an X guy thinking only in JJ, but as you can see, our protagonists have different ways to cope with the emptiness that left the separation. 
> 
> This is the last chapter before the anime, the next one will narrate the things happening previous to GPF and it will be accommodated according to the official facts and what I was adding because of imperious necessities for the plot to make sense. 
> 
> Thank you if you reached this point and thanks for the comments! 
> 
> ———————————  
> T/N:   
> I’m not crying you’re crying! ;_;   
> Thank you so much for reading! See you next chapter!
> 
> P.S.: I miss Drew already


	10. To See You Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: YOI doesn’t belong to me, if it did we would have to cry often.

Time passed and competitions became the main motivation of his existence. The short months he spent in his natal city were good to heal most of his wounds, and to start a new lifestyle where the troubles of the past became only bad memories. And like this, everything seemed to be ok. 

But as competitions were the most important thing, it was inevitable that at some point, his past was going to knock at his door. One day before the official beginning of the Grand Prix Final, while staying at Barcelona when he was about to have dinner, it was the first time he saw Jean-Jacques again in body and soul since the last time in Canada. Clearly he didn’t expect they would have any word exchange, but the self proclaimed king had no ability to keep himself silent and greeted him, hugging Isabella, like nothing had happened between them. Of course he declined his invitation and disappeared from there, cursing the loss of the opportunity to talk with the other boy he was interested in. 

Yuri Plisetsky, the youngest competitor, and with whom Otabek could feel a strong connection with since before his days in Canada, was there. And even if Altin was still shy for some things, his social skills had increased enough for getting close to the blonde boy and asking him directly to be his friend. It was refreshing to receive an affirmative answer to his question and even managed to spend the whole afternoon with him before they were interrupted by other competitors.

It was a relief they went all to have dinner without Leroy. He usually rejected excluding others without a reason, but he had enough memories to do nothing about it while the other boy was left behind the group one way or another. 

It was just that the Canadian didn’t know how to behave without being himself. Altin kept his eyes away from him the moment he heard his voice right after Chulanont decided they had to congratulate Katsuki and Nikiforov because of their engagement. Leroy had just shouted to the four winds he and Isabella had engaged that same day, and the idea twisted his stomach, unable to believe what he had just listened to. 

Without saying a word he left that place with the rest of the skaters that abandoned equally the one who should have been his rival, too. Suddenly, his day became gray, and not even the fact that he met the Russian he so much admired avoided him feeling down when he was alone in his room that night. 

He had a competition the next day, it was the short program, and even like that, his body didn’t listen to the fact that he needed to sleep and instead he was spacing out on the hotel bed like that was the remedy to get rid of the insomnia. He didn’t want to accept the reason of his mood, he wasn’t even verbalizing it mentally, but the images repeated themselves in his head giving him no rest. And when he knew it was a futile effort, he got dressed in a dark jacket with a hoodie, and got out to walk, to see if breathing the night air was useful. 

**Hours Before**

He had struggled for months to reach where he was at that moment, after winning two previous competitions, now he was one day from the GPF, excitement ran within his veins only thinking about the rink, frozen and beautiful, where he was thinking of giving everything of himself to show the world how proud he was to be part of his nation and his family. Because for Jean-Jacques, winning a gold medal wasn’t only to feel proud of himself but also to thank for the support from everyone cheering on him, everyone who recognized him and for everyone who he had relied on to be where he was right now. 

But having a family who adored him, fans that accompanied him to the competitions and a country proud of his performance, hadn’t been enough for his life to match with the rest. The stigma he had carried since he was a little kid because of not being able to make friends, was something he had accustomed to, although that didn’t mean he was blind to how everyone else was close between each other while he was the only one left out. 

He had a few skaters which he could talk to and it was not so bad, but they weren’t true friends. The only one he could consider that way would be Leo, but the boy didn’t make it to the final stage of the Grand Prix series. Sharing with Michele and Emil wasn’t so complicated as they were nice, whenever Michele stopped screaming to everyone about his sister. Seung-Gil was another topic. He couldn’t say they got along, but he couldn't say they did, either. They had a healthy rivalry, but the excessive cold personality of the older one didn’t make it to form a friendship with. 

With the others, well...Rejection was evident with most of them. Yuri Plisetsky used to be the reason, because he was the new one in the Senior division. JJ had tried to give him a welcoming greeting but as his social abilities were kind of a disaster, the result was he won another enemy instead, no matter how he tried to sound funny with the jokes no one but himself seemed to understand. 

And there was also him, Otabek Altin. With him he hadn’t met during a whole season, until those days which they will compete under the same conditions. Only thinking about seeing him gave him a complex bunch of feelings, but as the public figure he was, Jean had learnt to contain himself and save for himself what he really felt until it seemed almost non-existent. He asked himself many times the previous night, how must he greet him after the contact between them had been broken the way it did in Canada. In the end, the only idea that came to his mind was that they had to start from zero, without giving importance to the past. 

He was bickering with Plisetsky when it happened. He could see Otabek, he couldn’t help to shout his name and ask him where he was going. He was with Isabella, and even though she seemed to tense a little, he slowly put away from her while he talked to the boy. The only thing he could think of was to comment that the other looked as lonely as ever and to make an invitation that, as he imagined, had a negative response. 

Even his voice seemed to be softer while he smiled at Otabek, but of course the Kazakh wasn’t going to accept going out to have dinner with them. 

Jean shared a look with Yang once the boy got away from them and none commented anything about what had happened, instead they went out to walk around the city, do some shopping and have dinner. What he didn’t expect was that later that night, while they were passing by a restaurant where they heard applause because of an incoming marriage, he realized all of his other rivals were happily sharing, it seemed the base of everything were Nikiforov and Katsuki who had engaged. 

And when he said “all”, he meant,  _ all.  _ Something in his chest burned seeing Altin was within them, of course that was to be expected if the Kazakh didn’t want to hang out with him specifically and it was showing. But his own reaction was screaming out loud that he was going to marry Isabella once he won the gold medal. It wasn’t the correct way to make the announcement, let alone one that the others could like, so when he realized his mistake, everyone had already got up from their seats and headed out of the restaurant to call it a day. Saying that it had only been a joke wasn’t enough and he had to swallow the bitter flavor that left in his tongue the fact of being rejected once more. 

Isabella tried to tell him it didn’t matter, they were the ones who were missing to have such a good friend as Jean-Jacques, even with all his faults. He could see in the girl’s eyes she wasn’t lying, and even if she told him everything was okay, nothing felt okay. 

After that, he returned to the room he had for himself because his father insisted it didn’t matter he had a girlfriend now, he wasn’t going to leave him to distractions before a competition. Jean-Jacques started to meditate about the general situation he was in his life. To be sincere, he didn’t have any friends. He had eliminated that possibility when Isabella’s fake dating had become something more, and when, cheered because of the festive environment he ended up putting a ring on her hand, sealing their destiny. He would get the gold, and at 19 years old, he would get married with the girl which he was only supposedly using in the beginning to keep his fans away. 

Was that the right thing to do? In moments like that, when the darkness of the room was drowning him, when he didn’t feel so sure anymore. There were so many hopes on him, and even he himself had put even more pressure over his shoulders, without realizing what he was doing. 

He knew he had to sleep, but he couldn’t do it. Training was something that helped him clear his mind, so he decided going out to walk or whatever would be better than staying inside with all the doubts that assaulted him. 

But destiny is something incomprehensible and cruel. Because a few streets away from the hotel, he met just with the person he didn’t want to see. He stood on his feet, and in silence, the too bright smile he used to show the world had turned into a simple serious expression while he looked at the Kazakh that looked at him directly in his eyes. As it had always been. He didn’t understand the part of himself who still missed him, that missed those conversations until almost midnight, he missed sending him texts and receiving his answers, to meet with him only to have some time together. 

“Otabek...” He called finally, noticing the other was meant to keep walking. 

“Leroy...” The Kazakh answered and stopped a few steps from him. 

“You can still call me by my name, did you know that?” He commented with a tone that he tried to be funny with but came out bittersweet. 

“Mhm... don’t see the need to…”

The tension in the air was so noticeable that the Canadian sighed. This was not like he had dreamed their friendship would be like. The young man that was in front of him was supposed to be his first friend and he had expected that to last for a lifetime. 

“It was strange to see you with everybody else, it seems you are more sociable”, He commented and moved his feet a little, uncomfortable in his position even if his awkwardness was mental. 

“Time changes us all” The plain voice the boy was using was hurting him for some reason.

Jean looked at him, Otabek looked him back. And both of them opened their mouths to say something, but the Kazakh’s voice swallowed the Canadian’s as he got to say his words first. 

“I miss that...”

“Is it true you engaged with her?”

The air felt colder then. Leroy sighed and nodded. Maybe he should explain himself, because Otabek knew how everything had started, because the poisoned look that the Kazakh was giving him also was giving him chills and they had nothing to do with the night breeze of Barcelona. 

“We were on a family dinner before coming to Barcelona, everyone was so excited and they gave me congratulations and good wishes for the competition that was coming. I thought it was the right moment because my father had been mentioning formalizing the things between her and me wasn’t so bad, actually he reminded me over and over again that he and my mom only were dating for a year before he told her he wanted her for the rest of his life, I felt it was the moment...”

“You’re incredible” Otabek’s lower lip trembled after listening to the explanation.

“Eh?” Doubt marked the Canadian’s face who didn’t understand what was happening at that moment. “Incredible? Why? It didn’t sound like you are sorry.”

“Of course I’m not sorry! You’re incredibly idiot!”

“Hey, wait, are we talking about the same thing?” The older one doubted while saying it. 

Otabek took a great amount of air. He needed to calm down. But with this young man, that was not possible. It never was. 

“Jean-Jacques, you’ve just told me you decided to engage with a girl only because your father suggested it and because the environment was festive enough. Are you clear of the grade of stupidity that that is? Are you gonna tell me you’re going serious with her now? Are you even in love?” Questions went out of the Kazakh’s mouth before he could stop them, and ended up finding himself agitated only for speaking aloud so much. 

“Stupidity? Of course it was because of that, aren’t weddings supposed to be that way? She accepts me for who I am, she accepted me from the beginning, and we get along, she is a good friend. I guess that’s what you’re talking about when you said going serious with her...Being in love is a big statement, but I don’t think it is necessary...” The boy tried to explain, moving his hands in the air as if that gesture gave some weight to his words. 

“Don’t you think it is necessary to love someone to marry them? Are you insane?” Otabek snapped, almost getting to the limit of indignation he could feel, everything because of Leroy. 

“Otabek, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you sound even more rude than usual. It is supposed to do it when you love someone and want to form a family. I always thought I have to have a family, I don’t have a problem with the other things.”

“That’s the issue, Jean-Jacques. You never see the damn problem.”

Leroy stood a breath from saying something else, and then he understood. He frowned, getting closer to Otabek.

“Otabek...Is it my idea or you sound like the last time we talked?”

Altin kept silent then. No. He didn’t want to relive those memories. They were supposed to be buried and that way it was okay because the forgotten memories can’t hurt you. The problem was that he had never forgotten, not at all. 

“Do not stop now, I know I’m not the best to say it but, really, if you don’t tell me the things, I won’t understand what you are expecting from me. How is that I never see the problem?” The Canadian insisted looking at the other, getting one step closer. 

“What happened with what we had? Before you started with all that nonsense of ‘Let’s use Isabella Yang so my father doesn’t find out what I am’?” His tone was hurtful and he cursed internally. 

“What we had...What we had before you started to date that idiot who broke my wrist?” Leroy answered, giving another step forward. 

Otabek felt he needed the distance so he gave some steps back, watching clearly the hurt expression in Jean’s face when he did so. But this time, he wasn’t going to be the king’s nanny, his own well being was first. 

“Yes, what we had. What you started. What you finished. You took all the decisions without asking, you only came in one day and decided you needed a woman and of course I didn’t fit with the position. I thought...You really made me believe we had something!” His voice ended up rising, unable to hold back all the poison he had inside “You and your cowardice ruined everything, don’t you see the problem? The problem is that you fucked up my life!” The step he had given back wasn’t enough to contain his hands, which pushed JJ forward as hard as he could so he put more distance between them.

Leroy, that didn’t expect to be hit, nor from words, not physically, because they were both one day away from the competitions, ended up sliding to the side until he hit the floor. He tried to move until he sat on the ground. Since when Otabek was so strong? What had he missed?

“I didn’t...I didn’t mean to hurt you...The thing about Isabella was something I had to do...You know how my father was, how he insisted. Do you think he had accepted that I would take you home, holding hands to have dinner?” The pain he had guarded for so long went out from his lips, and he felt how his eyes filled with tears without his consent. 

“Yes, yes I know about your father. But that doesn’t justify anything. Do you know how much time I waited for you to reconsider?” The Kazakh snapped, he didn’t like to see the other on the floor but did nothing to help him get up. 

“Wait? You started to date that boy a few weeks later! I thought you would be happy so I left you alone!” The older one tried to justify himself. 

“That I did  _ what _ ? You went with Isabella and spent all the hours with her. What was I supposed to do then? ” He didn’t care that his voice was rising again, there was nobody close to them at this hour. 

“You know that is not true, I always invited you to go out with us, even went out with you alone...” Leroy murmured getting up from the floor. 

When he was on his feet again, in all his height, his look was nothing sweet and it was comparable with the hateful expression Altin had. 

“And did you see the way she looked at you? Did you ever think how unfair it was? I walked away because of respect for her, as you were behaving like an idiot and thought you could have us both” To see JJ on his feet again made him push him, again, but this time the other one was prepared and only stumbled a bit without falling. 

“She knew...From the beginning” His tone was going down because of the mix of emotions he was feeling, listening to all the truths he was struggling to deny. 

“That doesn’t give you any right to be a jerk. And now you make her engage with you in front of everyone? Until when do you plan to play with her? I thought you were better than that!” His breathing was heavy, mixing with the cold creating little clouds as he spoke. 

“Isabella could have said no!” It was Jean’s turn to shout, he didn’t want to keep silent because that would mean accepting everything Otabek was saying, and he was scared to do so. 

“You’re such an idiot and blind, Have you not noticed she does it all just for you? She is in love with you and she gifted you all these years. And you are taking the opportunity to be happy away from her!” Altin had his white knuckles. 

He didn’t want to keep listening. He didn’t want to continue that conversation. Because she had actually noticed the way Yang looked at him, and also he knew he wasn’t able to correspond. Not in the same way, not with the same intensity. He just couldn’t feel love for her and the affection he had for her wasn’t enough to call it love. 

“Of course not...We are...”

“Don’t you dare to deny it!”

A part of Jean didn’t understand the violence Otabek could show. The boy he remembered, would never have been the first to give punches, but somehow that exactly happened right now, and while he felt the air no longer filled his lungs, his head stopped processing rational ideas and the only thing he had in mind was to get back at him. He hadn’t gotten better at his fighting skills but there was no doubt the boy in front of him wasn’t a professional either. So while they threw punches between groaning and pain noises, he was clear there was not going to be a winner, but the one who had better physical resistance. 

Or, the one who came back to his senses first. 

Before the punches became more serious, JJ made sure to use all of his weight against the boy until his breathing was difficult, forcing him to a hug and trying to stop him.

“Otabek...Please...I don’t want this to be like the last time in Canada” The memory of that last fight brought him bad feelings, and he kept his arms like stones around Otabek who struggled trying to get JJ off of him. 

“Everything is your fault! You’re a damn idiot, liar, fake and you think you can win the world smiling, but you’re completely lost and you have no idea how to live your own life! What happened with the Jean I knew? Don’t look away!” The Kazakh shouted, his eyes were itching because of the tears inside them. Tears that were not supposed to exist, but there, in alien hands, there was no way he could hold them back, and a sniffing sound scared Jean-Jacques. 

“Otabek...N-no! ...Wait!” Disturbed, JJ tried to loosen his grip a little. The less he wanted to do was causing harm to Otabek, but here he was, fighting with him in a dirty street. 

“You promised it! You said you would do things your way! You said you would do the right thing! You said you wouldn’t let other people make you change! ” His voice broke at the end and with the bit of strength he had he pushed Jean apart to sit down, panting and trying to wipe away the tears falling on his cheek. 

“That’s...Not so simple. I didn’t think you...” The Canadian tried to say. 

“Did you think it was just a child’s play? I believed in you Jean! Dammit! I believed in all of your stupid words and I wanted to live like that, too! I admired you because you seemed to be brave. But now, I feel sorry for you. Don’t you get tired of lying to yourself?”

The phrase reverberated within JJ, making him stop in his attempts to get close to Otabek, who stood looking at him furiously, waiting for him to dare deny what he had just told him directly. 

“...We were supposed to be friends” The self-proclaimed king whispered. Everything suddenly hurt to the point his eyes also were filled with tears. 

“You said it well. We were supposed to, and we were.” 

There were no more words between them. Otabek, after realizing the change in the environment he got up from the floor, stumbled the first steps and without saying a single word, he turned back, walking to the hotel. He had been careful enough not to hit him on the face or anywhere visible and Jean had done the same. There was no way someone could notice the bruises they had on their torsos - the most damaged zone - the next day. 

JJ didn’t move until half an hour later. He stood looking at the sky and tried to form a smile. He hoped the painkillers work tomorrow. Because there was no way to explain to someone else what had just happened without consequences for both of them on their careers. 

**Next day**

Having a nice smile on his face, greeting his fans, and convincing his parents he preferred not to be touched on the sides just to keep himself focused and not because of the pain he felt, was harder than JJ expected. But with medicine, eye drops and a few other cares he looked theoretically well to go out to the rink to show his short program. He tried to forget everything else, he tried not to think of anything, and put his mind on the competition. 

But he didn’t count that being the last one would be the hardest part. Let alone seeing Otabek on the rink minutes before would mean something. But the Kazakh didn’t beat about the bush and the hateful look he offered was so evident that he feared everyone noticed. He had to smile on his own before entering the ice, giving himself some cheers, but even if he listened to the public cheering on him, on the first jump, Altin’s image appeared in his head, reviving the wound on his chest. 

No, he didn’t allow himself to think of him. At least, he tried. Every failed jump, every element he didn’t do to perfection, the memories of the things he had done, of everything everyone expected from him, all those accomplishments that he wasn’t achieving made him succumb mentally. He felt like he fell on a cliff, one where he could never reach the others, to everyone that somehow rejected him only for being who he was. But, was he really being himself? Or was he being only what everyone else wanted him to be?

No!

He couldn’t give up. This wasn’t like him. It didn’t matter anything he had gone through, he still had the support he needed and he still could believe in himself. He was able to listen to the cries of his feminine fanatics and that gave him some strength, but not enough to land the last jump and his song ended a few seconds after leaving him exhausted. A few moments later he received the score, he forced himself to make everyone else happy, making them believe he was okay by screaming his personal brand. 

But he was not okay. Nothing felt right. That night was plagued by a set of nightmares and the next day he felt even worse, before his free program, during practice, he still couldn’t land his jumps well. He broke in tears in front of his parents, looking at how his son was slowly crumbling. 

When the competition of that day began, he felt insecure. He didn’t think he deserved the affection the public was giving him nor the affection from the people who were there because of him. Something within him had broken, and like a bird with a broken wing, flying seemed impossible. Unless he came back to be himself, winning with the style that had cost him years and effort. That he was loyal, for real, to who he was supposed to. That he did that thing that his old friend had scolded him for. 

The thought helped him to keep going, he managed to finish his routine. He received his scores with shock, and when he was moments later on the podium with his bronze medal, he didn’t know how to feel. He still had in his mind all the things generating conflict in his life. For that reason, he wanted to be alone, which he couldn’t achieve because the person who knocked on his door was someone he could never say no to. 

“Mom?” He asked, the doubt marked on his face while he let her in. 

“JJ, I know you’re tired but I think we need to talk...About what has happened these days.” The woman told him, taking a seat on a couch, and after giving some few taps next to her, her son went to sit beside her. 

“Mom, I’m so sorry...I know I let you down, and I...” He had to stop when his mother’s hand took one of his own while she looked at him with something he couldn’t decipher.

“You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?” She asked, caressing his son’s hand. 

“Mom...” His eyes filled with tears when he listened to her. 

His mind was telling him he should ask, what about his siblings, or his father? But he stood silent, and hugged her instead. 

“Calm down baby...Shh...I need you to listen, and you can’t listen to me if you sob so hard, remember when you were little and you locked yourself in with your plushies in the closet?” She asked, brushing his son’s hair, who ended up finding a seat on her mother’s lap once he could contain his sobbing. 

“Mom! How embarrassing! But, they were not only plushies, they were by subjects...And my friends...” The last part he added with a nostalgic tone. 

“I know...I always thought about why it wasn’t easy for you to make friends. You have a sweet heart, since you were little, even if you talk too much” Her laughter extended inside the room changing the air a little. 

“I guess...”

The redhead continued his caresses on his oldest son’s hair and finally sighed, it wasn’t that for what she had come for, but finding the way was complicated, she didn’t want to see her son suffer. 

“Truth is, Jean-Jacques...That I came here because I feel I owe you an apology, all of us, although I haven’t talked to your father yet. ” She finally began. 

“Mom, you don’t have to, what are you talking about?” JJ turned his head up to see her after wiping his tears. 

“I saw how Otabek looked at you, before your short program” She commented.

The nerves made JJ’s abdomen hurt at that moment. He didn’t want to have that conversation so he looked away from his mother’s eyes slowly. 

“Honey, I don’t know what happened between you, but I know he was a really good friend and a good influence for you. It makes me sad to know you two stopped talking to each other, but I think I know the reason and even if I don’t understand the details...I feel a bit of guilt.”

“Guilt? Really, mom. What happened between us had nothing to do with you.” He tried to explain and got up to sit again next to his mother. 

Nathalie’s hands took the cheeks of who always was going to be her child, with affection. She could see he had grown up well and her soul was hurting noticing his eyes were showing her such a deep sadness. One she felt she could have avoided. 

“You don’t have to be what we want you to be, JJ...You have to be yourself, that was the reason we decided to train you, for you to follow your own way. That also applies for the person you choose to love and with who you plan to be with the rest of your life. ” She told him, calmly, while her hands were trying to accommodate his son’s rebel bangs. 

“Mom...I-Don't understand...With Isabella I...” Jean tried to interrupt her. 

“I think it was my mistake, for you not having me enough trust to tell me. I don’t know how you managed all these years to be with her, I know she loves you, but I can notice your eyes don’t shine when you look at her” She murmured, sadly smiling. 

“My eyes? What do my eyes have to do with this?”

She sighed, made his son’s head come closer and kissed his forehead softly. He was the first son she has had, and even if a mother should have no preference, Jean-Jacques always will have that special place in her heart. 

“I have known you since the day you came to brighten our family, Jean-Jacques. I know you and that’s why I knew in those years there was something I was missing. You still love him, don’t you? I knew since the first time I saw how your eyes shone for that boy, it couldn’t be normal.” She confessed and let go JJ’s face to face him. 

Jean’s lower lip trembled, he could see how his tears blurred his vision once again, and without saying a word she received him in her arms. His sobs broke her heart but she knew it was necessary, while she caressed the back of the young man, who was letting out all of that sadness that he had been carrying inside. It was never her intention to hurt him, but now she realized that what she believed was a phase, or thinking it was better not to intervene, had come to this. 

“M-mom...I screwed it up...I-I don’t know what to do anymore.” The skater mumbled, who felt more lost than ever. 

“Everything is going to be okay, baby...Everything is going to be okay. ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> Here we are again, hello to everyone who still read this.  
> As I announced in the previous chapter, this chapter crosses with the things happening in canon(I re-watched some chapters to inspire me so everything made sense) and this was what I got.  
> After a year and something without seeing each other, our main characters meet again, but wounds and resentments of the past still haunt them. This is the moment JJ breaks because of all the pressure which he is under, and at the end we have Mrs. Leroy being the mother everyone wants to have, I think her support was relevant after all the stress and more now she confesses she always knew everything(?). 
> 
> Thank you for reading, if you leave a comment I’ll thank you so much. 
> 
> Have a nice day/afternoon/evening!  
> —————————
> 
> T/N  
> Holy mother of angst T_T  
> Mrs. Leroy was MVP here.  
> As you can see, the word count in this chapter is significantly higher than the previous ones so I apologize for my delay. One can only translate so many sad words at once - dramabutton-. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, comments are highly appreciated (I show them all to the author. All. Of. Them.) 
> 
> See you next chapter!


	11. The Things That Never Changed

Isabella Yang, 22 years old. Official girlfriend of the famous figure skater Jean-Jacques Leroy. Her life seemed to be the perfect one and it was. It was, while she believed she could maintain her life on its feet like the cards castle they have built together. She was a master in believing her own lies, but even if she had a heart which had grew cold with the years to survive the sadness of life, inside all of that shell still existed a delicate organ, beating, suffering and bleeding, all because of those feelings she had recognized within herself before she could stop them. 

It had been a feat to hide them all that time. The best part of the lies she had to live in were that they weren’t complete lies, that affection came out from her naturally, more than she supposed to, but the boy was too slow to understand and he believed they were fine that way. She had been his friend since years before, and that’s why he had confessed to her he needed help to get his parents off of him. It wasn’t like he didn’t like them, but the social pressure of needing a girlfriend was beyond him, and because of that reason she had offered without thinking too much, believing it was all right…

But even if everything had started without feelings from both parts, once she started to get closer to the young man and getting to know him better, she saw herself haunted in a spell she couldn’t break. Despite Jean-Jacques being an idiot in the whole meaning of the word, so many parts of him existed that the world didn’t see and she could appreciate with the years, when she realized of the warm feeling in her chest, it was already late to regret or to stay away. 

Everything should have been perfect if she was bright like him, if she attracted people to her the way the Canadian could do, with his sweet heart and honesty most of the time. The only lie Jean-Jacques used to tell was what they had between each other, but for everything else he usually was so sincere it was somehow annoying and for that same reason, misunderstood. His null social abilities didn’t help because he didn’t know when to shut up, and while Isabella enjoyed listening to him, she could understand why others won’t appreciate the words Jean-Jacques tried to come up with the first time he met a person. 

With her it was different, of course. They could talk about more stuff, they could argue about themes that had a real sense. And she used to be impressed with the boy’s ability to get serious when it was necessary even when he was the one who always wanted to laugh. 

That and other reasons, she had loved him for more than a year. In secret. She was the older one, and her age and mental maturity had made her realize two things. She really loved him more than she should, and she definitely couldn’t tell him. 

The surprise came in her life the moment the boy had asked her to marry him in front of his family. Of course she said yes, in the heat of the moment and with the festive air, but that same night when she was alone in her room, doubts started wandering his mind like a tornado, threatening to take away her home while she watched the disaster, powerless. 

The next day he had failed his short program horribly, of course she supported him in that moment to cheer him along with his fans. Even if the boy had recovered for the other part of the competition and even had managed to get the bronze medal, the girl had a feeling the ending was near. 

She confirmed this when Mrs. Leroy came to visit her, Jean-Jacques’s mother. Talking to her was awkward but necessary. It hurt to discover that the woman had known since long ago that what she had with Jean-Jacques didn’t look real. And it hurt even more when the woman gave her advice that would probably break her inside. 

“To love something and letting it go is a cliché, but it isn’t always a mistake. Sometimes you need to see for your own happiness, and I love my son, but I want you to think really, if being with him is what would make you happy...”

Reality was a bucket of cold water, a needle breaking her bubble. It didn’t matter everything she could give him, she wouldn’t be able to give him complete happiness, and she wouldn’t be happy either. It seemed Isabella had to be the one to give the step and save the king once more, but not in a conventional way. She was not going to lie for him anymore, and while that would hurt her a lot, it was to avoid a bigger mess. She knew him well enough to know what was wringing JJ’s heart. 

It was after the banquet they had to attend after the conclusion of the GPF. That night the boy was theoretically fine, but she could see in his eyes he hadn’t slept well. When the banquet was over, they went to the young man’s room and she decided it was the time to talk clear. The confused and frightened expression of the boy had reminded her this was the right thing to do, and she put effort so her words were clear enough.

On the other side, Leroy felt his life was weighing on him more and more. After everything that happened, including the conversation with his mother and the exhibition, he didn’t feel like living through another problem or change, but Isabella had insisted it was important and to say no to her would have not been nice with one of the few friends he did have. 

The conversation with her didn’t go well. Not only because the tears had been shed by him, but because it really was the end of something Jean-Jacques had taken for granted, as a fact, and not something that could go back. She didn’t cry, she had already done that for him to see him failing terribly on his short program. Then he made it better on the free program but it had not been enough. The clock had stopped for them both and there was no going back. There had been years together, but he couldn’t give Isabella what she deserved and she noticed that. She was his friend after all, one of the few he had, and one he needed to say goodbye to, for both of their sake. 

Leroy hated goodbyes, but that conversation had put in words what he had been denying himself all that time. Everything that had come to the GPF and now they were both looking at each other until she smiled and sat up from her seat to get close and give him a warm kiss on the forehead. He was supposed to be the man, he was the one who should be comforting her! Instead he was the most hurt of them both, even if he was the one who had broken her heart. He needed breath, what a shame. 

“I’m sorry” He asked, knowing he didn’t deserve forgiveness but she shushed him with a murmur. It was not necessary he did that. 

“Don’t be sorry for what both of us know, you make it more difficult” The woman said back. 

The king, who felt his crown heavier and heavier, nodded. If he really had loved her, he would have stopped her right there, but after listening to her, and in silence as few times he was, he accepted Yang was right. To talk about compromise only to make his family and fans happy was not a valid excuse to tie her to that relationship where it was clear her love was unrequited. If they kept going she could break her more, and he had a really deep affection for her, but not the love she needed. He wished her the best happiness in the world, and staying next to him was not going to be a bright future. 

A spark of that joy she always seemed to have he could see in that last smile she gave before hugging him. He closed his arms around the slim body of the girl and stayed that way for a moment, knowing that if he said just one word, sobs would end up clouding everything. 

He didn’t know how many more minutes passed when he felt the girl’s body felt uneasy. He knew it was the end. He felt how something inside him was breaking he knew it wasn’t her the one who had to pick up the pieces. 

“It’s time, JJ. ” She said. She had already made arrangements to travel after that conversation. Because she was clear of what she had chosen, and there was no other way for her. 

“It’s ok. Take care, and text me when you arrive, I...” He tried to look for something that made him sound not like the idiot he had been all these time, but he didn’t find it. 

“I won’t call you. Give me a few days, ok? No more messages, no more calls, you don’t need any of that anymore.” She said, finally separating from him. 

“I won’t bother you anymore...B-But, you can talk to me whenever you want.” He assured her, feeling completely defeated and destroyed. 

Isabella looked at him one last time but did nothing more than leave two objects in his hands, two objects, turn back and walk to the exit. The door shouting was too loud for JJ’s taste, who took a seat in the first place he saw after watching her walk away. It was hard for him looking at his hands, there was the necklace he had given her along with the engagement ring, feeling emptier than before. Now he needed a lot of things, starting from the explanation he now owed to his parents and his fans about what happened. He couldn’t hide for much time that his long time friend and ex fiancée had dumped him and cut ties with him at least for a time, until she was able to cheer for him without feeling hurt because of the mistakes both of them had made during those years. 

The bronze medal on the top of the table seemed to mock him and when he saw it he wanted to throw it away. If he could have won, if he had maintained his brand, he could have forced one of his most beloved people to have a life painted with the frustration of not having the love she deserved. 

The king wasn’t like that. He could behave like an idiot sometimes but he will never damage someone just because. Isabella had helped him understand that, to comprehend he could no longer deny the world the truth that surely he was going to struggle to accept and he wasn’t sure he would manage to say out loud, for him and for everyone. 

_ “You have to accept it Jean-Jacques...You’re never going to be happy next to a woman. You can pretend your whole life but I don’t feel prepared to see you deceiving yourself and giving me hopes that do not exist. Are you in love with me? Have you loved me at least once? Your silence tells me everything. And as your friend I don’t deserve this. And neither do you.” _

That night, her words repeated themselves over and over in his head, knowing Isabella knew well who she was talking about when it was about love. Jean-Jacques could have hid it from many people but not from her, not from the one that had listened to all of his jealous words when the boy was still in Canada, not even the few words they had crossed about the young man when they saw it again during the GPF. 

He couldn’t sleep and he didn’t want to be in that room anymore, he felt asphyxiated. He still had some tears to shed and even like that, he didn’t mind, he escaped as fast as he could from the hotel and came out to run on Barcelona’s streets that late at night; as if within them he was going to find the answer to things his mind still wasn’t able to accept. 

Karma, or some superior force, was always against him. He couldn’t avoid to bitterly laugh when he saw Otabek appear a few steps from him, just before his eyes, as if all the suffering and stress had called the culprit of all his confusions, the one he had always left aside. 

“Altin...”

“Leroy...”

Silence traversed between them, remembering the last time they were alone together. When Otabek had punched him so hard, physically and verbally, and Jean-Jacques knew the boy was right in many things, at least he started to understand now. He looked at him without knowing what to say for several seconds. 

“Everything was easier when we were still in High School” It was the only thing he managed to say that was somewhat coherent, and a dry laugh escaped his lips.

“The difference is, we are adults now. ” Altin commented with a tired expression, almost as much as the Canadian, it seemed none of them were in their best moment. 

Leroy looked in his pocket until reaching a ring. The one that someone had returned to him that day, shining between his fingers. He could notice the confused expression of his unexpected companion and he knew he had to explain to him at least that. 

“Wedding is cancelled… Bronze is not enough to have a party and invite everyone, I guess” He tried to joke but he sounded really bad and then sighed. 

“It is cancelled?” The Kazakh asked, surprised.

“Yes...Isabella told me she couldn’t do this anymore, so...It’s over. ” He couldn’t avoid his voice, it sounded so broken in the end and he had to wipe his tears from his eyes with the memory. 

Altin was silent while he was studying the boy in front of him. His rage had calmed down since he had screamed to Jean, and hit him. And now when he finally felt he could look at him without showing how he felt about him, it turns out that Jean showed how sad he was because his girlfriend dumped him. That girl that never had been his real girlfriend in first place, but he swallowed his words for not saying that again to him. 

“You couldn’t sleep also?” Jean-Jacques asked finally, noticing the other wasn’t going to comment anything. 

“I...Needed some air too”

The Canadian studied the Kazakh better and frowned. 

“You’ve been crying” He said with no softness. 

“I lost an important opportunity...Of bonding with someone precious to me, I think there is no return now” He finally explained. 

Jean-Jacques felt a very known pain in his chest, his stomach churning because of jealousy and envy. Who was he talking about exactly? He got a step closer, but instead saying something he didn’t think and threw his arms around the smaller body. He found resistance at first but he didn’t pull apart. 

“You can use my shoulder if you want...” He offered in a low voice, and felt the chills traveling on the alien body. 

“Y-You don’t have to...” He tried to deny the help, but it was more for the complex reaction that those arms were giving him. 

He wasn’t able to separate from him. After several seconds and an even more uncomfortable silence, he closed his arms around the older’s waist. And he had to squeeze his eyes while tears fell sliding on his cheeks. It was unbelievable that after all that time, the culprit of his tears, even indirectly, was once again, him. 

The discussion had begun on a late banquet horse, Otabek had been there sharing with Plisetsky and the others. But the blond boy had started to insist over and over again about a topic Otabek really didn’t want to talk about. Leroy, to be exact. The Russian repeated him that who deserved the bronze medal was him and not the idiotic king, and his tongue threw more than one curse and not suitable comments about the Canadian until the Kazakh was fed up and instead of keeping his cool, he had opted to  _ defend the enemy  _ according to the furious Yuri who had ended up with am outburst of teenager rage, screaming to him how double idiot he was. 

And now he was embracing Jean-Jacques, he seemed to rediscover the effect that had on him having been close to the other skater, that still didn’t let him go. Why was he hugging him like that? Why did the Canadian’s back tremble that soft way under his hands? When he understood he wasn’t the only one weeping silent tears, his crying wish increased and while he hated that second, his eyes did not stop the flooding that came down his tears when he allowed them to.

They lost count of the time they stood that way, until Jean-Jacques pressed his forehead on the Kazakh’s shoulder with no permission, blinking all the necessary for the last tears to fall from the border of his eyes. 

“We are such a mess...What do adults do when they are depressed?” He had to break the silence with an out of place question, but sincerely in that moment it didn’t matter too much, his chest had more reasons to hurt that he could count. 

“Foolish things...Stupid things, that’s what they do.” It was the Kazakh’s answer. 

“Ha...I can’t imagine you doing something stupid, not even if you tried...” Jean sighed, still not letting him go, he had missed having Otabek so close too much time to lose what seemed to be a one of a kind opportunity. 

“Do you want to find out?” Otabek asked, as if it were a challenge. 

“Joking has never been your forte, are you going to tell me you can do crazy things now?” Jean sounded doubtful, not believing what he was hearing. 

“I’m serious...” Altin said. 

“Explain yourself...”

Maybe if there hasn’t been so late at night. Maybe if he hadn’t lost all hope of becoming friends with whom he had admired for years. Maybe if he hadn’t been so weak, only maybe, he would have taken the safe route and had walked away that same instant from the warmth that was embracing him. 

But the cold in his chest, the one who had been stabbing his heart, had left him in necessity. And he demanded to feel something after so much time. His silence was only broken by the sound of his own movement, to reach the necessary distance until staying in front of the other’s face, that one who had broken his heart a long time ago. His stomach made a knot while he moved a hand to take him from the chin. 

The red eyes looked at him confused, his own were in similar conditions but he was determined to do something he didn’t know he could regret later. He sighed and their breaths found each other until their lips were connected. It was a thing of only a few seconds but it felt like the world had stopped completely before starting to spin faster. 

“Like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hello!  
> In this chapter our protagonists meet each other after the GPF, still in Barcelona. I considered the first part needed to be told by Isabella(in a goodbye way) because from this point on she is no longer in JJ's official life.  
> With Isabella gone, the fic starts to take a route with the official pairing and we can let the heavy angst behind; but we can never take away the angst completely with these two, sorry not sorry at all. 
> 
> Thanks for the following and favs, also thanks for the comments. The next chapter will be spicy if you know what I mean(?). 
> 
> Have a good day/afternoon/night!  
> \----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> T/N: 
> 
> Heavens help me with the next one, because, yes, it is going to be smutty.  
> Thank you so much for reading, see you next chapter!


	12. Necessity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is smutty from beginning to end. It has public sex and some dirty talking.

_ His silence was only broken by the sound of his own movement, to reach the necessary distance until staying in front of the other’s face, that one who had broken his heart a long time ago. His stomach made a knot while he moved a hand to take him from the chin.  _

_ The red eyes looked at him confused, his own were in similar conditions but he was determined to do something he didn’t know he could regret later. He sighed and their breaths found each other until their lips were connected. It was a thing of only a few seconds but it felt like the world had stopped completely before starting to spin faster.  _

_ “Like this.” _

From all the options Jean-Jacques had thought he’d receive as an answer, none of them contemplated that kiss as part of the formula. He stood still, afraid of breaking the spell Otabek had created, and who looked at him with tense expression. He almost forgot what they were talking about before because the shock of the Kazakh’s actions were enough to make his already damaged world tremble. 

“Wow...” He frowned when he finally could make a sound. “It’s not fair if you do it so fast that I can’t respond.”

It was Otabek’s turn to be surprised. Because before he could build a coherent sentence, the boy pulled him from the jacket, talking him by the lips and his chest began beating so hard he thought it would go out directly from his ears, if that were scientifically possible. His legs trembled while JJ’s warm lips mixed with his, without complaining he corresponded at last. 

It wasn’t a soft touch, like the one between two kids. It wasn’t the touch loaded with the warmness of the beginnings of puberty either. No, this time it was something that burnt from their souls and sealed on their lips while their hands looked for the best position. It was a war since the moment Altin decided he wasn’t going to let that man win again, and the battle started after a violent bite, when he forced Jean to open his lips to run his own mouth’s warmth against him with everything but kindness. 

Because they were no longer friends, but they weren’t lovers either, and even like that, as rivals, they wanted the other so bad as the first time even if none of them were able to say it. Otabek’s hand landed on Jean’s scalp, pulling him against his own body while he put the other hand on the Canadian’s back. Jean-Jacques’s arms imprisoned Otabek , forcing him to stand on his toes gasping against his mouth, trying to win the battle moving his tongue. 

Somehow, at some point, the tables turned. Leroy’s hands came to life, one took the Kazakh by the chin to force him to open his mouth with little gentleness, the other hand grabbed Otabek on the center of the back so he wouldn't run away, before he entered those lips. The interchange continued inside Otabek’s mouth, who pulled Jean’s hair and left bites on that tongue who dared profaning him like that. 

The sensation was addictive, the fight for control made them almost lose balance. New bites came, this time it was Altin claiming his place after biting JJ's lips until they hurt, and after the moan he got from the king, the Kazakh hero came back inside JJ’s mouth. 

Jean-Jacques felt his own breathing becoming desperate. His hands were the first ones showing discomfort because they changed position. One moved to keep Otabek’s hip in place, and the other slid down on Otabek’s lower back, marking his own path until reaching one of Otabek’s buttcheeks, and squeezed it on his palm without any modesty. 

Altin gasped and wasn’t able to complain. Not even when JJ’s fingers slithered under his clothes to scratch Altin’s back, let alone when the other hand continued massaging his ass even over the clothes he was still wearing. 

Between JJ’s lips was Otabek’s tongue, but he wasn’t expecting it would be sucked from the tip in a slow movement that filled Otabek with nice sensations, building up the heat of the moment and also the danger of it. His rational side turned off completely as his hands sneaked underneath the Canadian’s shirt. He almost gasped the moment he could feel the firm skin under his fingers, if he thought this felt good when they were teenagers, now was a lot worse, as innocence was no longer a part of his qualities. 

On the other part, Jean-Jacques felt like he was on the clouds. Now he understood when people said that some touches should be forbidden, because feeling so good while the Kazakh’s hands went up his torso made him produce indecent sounds he tried to muffle against Otabek’s lips, his body was on fire, and it was worse when those fingers reached his pecs, brushing his nipples on the process. No, it was too much for his head. He let his hand decide itself where it wanted to be, he forced his hand inside Otabek’s pants, under the underwear, to reach the line that just marked the division between the buttcheeks that felt firm and hot against his fingers. 

“Do adults also do it on the streets?” It was a lot to ask of Jean-Jacques to be silent for long. 

With his breathing clearly heavy, he looked at the boy who was at his own hip in the middle of the street. When was the moment everything turned like this? In his mind there was only the thought that he wanted more and he was tired of denying himself those desires, the ones which his body craved so much as his heart did. Otabek kept looking at him with decisiveness, for the first time in forever they were not arguing, nor fighting, and they seemed to have the same thoughts in mind. 

“The street is for doing crazy things.”

That was the phrase that shattered all doubt, from the knight. Once he looked around, observing the street practically desert at that time of dawning, without gentleness he took the king by the nape so he could fuse with him again. One of the two began to walk, in order to change the location from the place they had met, hugging and crying just minutes ago. They ended up on a poorly illuminated street and a place a lot less evident than the place they were before. 

The Kazakh’s hands didn’t seem to be playing because they undid the buttons on Leroy’s pants. One of those hands slid inside Jean’s clothes to stroke with no modesty and JJ was thankful for it as he was already feeling uncomfortable because of the emotion of the moment, he wanted the other skater to feel how hard he was. 

“Fuck, Otabek...” JJ growled after a few seconds, taking Otabek’s wrist away from that zone, ignoring the doubt on the Kazakh’s face, and looking at him with so little light he licked Otabek’s fingers, getting them wet inside his mouth until they felt them ready, setting them free. “Now, go on...” He asked and without asking for confirmation his own hands got rid of Altin pants’s brooch. 

JJ stripped Otabek of his pants and went back to position his fingers, this time they dedicated to tease the central line of his companion’s ass, if he had any pride about what he was doing, he was clearly not showing it. Altin thanked being free from his clothes and started to stroke the evident Canadian’s erection with his wet fingers. Not thinking much, Otabek pulled JJ closer, using the same hand he managed to rub off their cocks, both of them gasping at the direct contact sending them chills of pleasure. 

Jean-Jacques took a liking to the Kazakh’s neck, trying to set free the energy he felt running all over his body with a not gentle bite that the Kazakh groaned at. Otabek went more frantic with his hand, making both of them become harder than before against his palm’s heat. The Canadian wasn’t sure how he could focus on that moment, and after leaving some other kisses, his fingers dared to make themselves space between Otabek’s firm buttcheeks, forcing them so separate to reach Otabek’s entrance, who he looked directly at his eyes in that instant.

Otabek arched his body, his mouth half open, gasping. He looked back at Jean-Jacques, this still felt like a war, and when he opened his mouth to respond, he didn’t feel like he was losing. 

“Aren’t you going to put them in?” He asked with no trace of gentleness. 

The challenge was thrown, and even while JJ could seem inconsiderate, he wasn’t. He pulled his fingers away from that position, and put three of them in his mouth for licking them until the saliva was dripping from them. He didn’t see any sign of doubt in Otabek's expression, and with that in mind, he put one leg between the Kazakh’s. 

“Open up, a little...” He requested. Otabek was a little shocked, as he was expecting Jean-Jacques to be more harsh. 

Altin opened his legs, soon feeling JJ’s hand against his ass, this time Jean-Jacques’s middle finger entering in him, being pulled from the waist from the one who looked like he had no intention of letting Otabek go. And even if it was just the illusion of a weakness’s night, he didn’t care. It felt good, too good, and he tried to fit the rhythm of his hand that still was rubbing both of them on the little space Leroy had left him. 

“It goes the second...” Jean-Jacques warned, because never in his life he had had the ability to stay silent for long. 

Jean-Jacques was amazed with the sensation. He almost forgot the place they were at while he explored Otabek’s tight hole with his fingers. It was different to all the experiences he has had before and although he was worried about being doing it good or bad, he followed his instincts trying to open up his fingers inside Otabek, looking at him attentively, waiting for a reaction. 

Otabek couldn’t keep helping with his hands any longer. The pain he felt at the beginning now had become pleasure, he could feel JJ’s eyes against his own, and because he knew JJ very well, he also knew Jean was waiting for him to say something. Instead of getting upset about how cocky Jean-Jacques could be, he kept looking at him. 

“You’re good. Now, go on.” He confirmed, and his order was clear. 

“And that’s just my fingers...” Jean-Jacques winked at him. 

JJ didn’t take long to follow Otabek’s request, he waited just a little more to widen the entrance before making more space for a third finger that received a weak moan as an answer. 

“Ah...So tight...” was the king’s comment. 

JJ left a strong bite on the Kazakh’s neck to show how aroused he felt for being inside Otabek, even if it were just his fingers. He attacked that neck without doubts while he moved his fingers inside the boy that was now moaning loudly for him. JJ definitely had to admit how much he liked to hear Otabek, and also the fact that JJ was the one causing those sensations in the Kazakh. The heat they shared was evident, and after attacking Otabek with kisses and licks, JJ’s mouth got over a portion of the Kazakh hero for beginning to suck him with violence, moving his fingers in almost vertical direction inside of him. 

Otabek felt desperate in a good way. His moans were already evident, they were lucky it was so late because on another time of the night they would have probably been interrupted, but the street seemed so desert that he didn’t care about opening his lips to ask for something he really needed. 

“Jean…” He called JJ the way he had always had, and he felt suddenly at home. He tightened Jean-Jacques’s hair that was still on his neck, and whispered to JJ’s ear. “It’s not enough.” 

If JJ was already turned on, to listen to Otabek calling him by his name was a lot worse. He stopped his sucking only for hearing him pronounce what Otabek wanted. JJ’s chest began to race at a mortal pace, his beats too strong, so much he thought Otabek could hear them through his clothes. He could feel in his fingers that Altin’s entrance was as anxious as he was, and that made him decide. He sighed in ecstasy, pulled his fingers out of Altin so he could grab Otabek’s hips with his hands. 

“I guess flexibility is still not your forte...So I need you to turn against the wall...Unless you dare to put your legs up while I fuck you so hard you’ll forget breathing.” No, when it was about that boy, JJ had no tact, no filter. 

Otabek didn’t know if it was worth it to fake a shock about Jean’s nerve. He remembered him that way but they had never gone that far before. Nonetheless, the honest tone of the king made Otabek’s body burn. 

“You’re still strong enough to hold me. I want to see your face while you do it. But first...” The Kazakh didn’t wait for an audible response from Leroy, he lowered to his knees, noticing the surprise on the other man.

Otabek’s mouth would serve as a lube, he decided as he consumed everything inside his mouth, slow in the beginning, for controlling his gag reflexes. He started to suck from base to the point, using saliva and his tongue to make JJ wet in a natural way. He could feel the moans of his companion, who started pulling Otabek’s hair while preparing him between his lips. 

“Next time I will fill you with lube...So I hope you resist this time.” Jean-Jacques said without even wondering if that second time would actually exist. “Bring that mouth here” He demanded, he didn’t want to end up cumming inside Otabek’s mouth and he didn’t want to lose the preparation he’d already done either. He will leave that for later, but today he needed to be inside Altin. 

When Otabek felt liquid that wasn’t precisely his from Jean-Jacques’s tip, he pulled away leaving a thin saliva thread between them. He stood up and made sure to eliminate the clothes for good from at least one of his legs, so he had more room to move. When he was completely standing, he felt how the other pulled him to his mouth hungrier than before. 

Jean-Jacques was completely aroused by now. Honestly he didn’t want to think what was gonna happen if somebody found them there anymore. He took Otabek against the wall. His hands grabbed Altin’s thighs firmly. Jean-Jacques made Altin lift a leg up his side, and then thanks to the strength JJ had, along with the help of the wall’s support, he lifted Otabek waiting for him to cross his legs around Leroy. JJ found Otabek’s entrance and fitted his wet cock. He looked at Otabek for a few seconds receiving the Kazakh’s impatient expression, and without saying anything he went inside, slowly at the beginning because even with all the preparation it was still tight for him, but when he had half of his hardness inside he made the final move so he entered completely. 

Jean’s breath was cut for a second and he stood still looking at the other, hoping not to have hurt him. Otabek had his lips open, his hands squeezing Leroy’s shoulders, he had refrained from screaming with the last move and it took a few moments for him to get used to having all of Leroy’s thickness inside of him. 

“Move...”

That had sounded like an order rather than a request, but Jean-Jacques didn’t care. He was so overwhelmed with the initial sensation he didn’t know what to do next. He made sure of holding Otabek firmly and began to move, slowly at the beginning so he got used to filling that space. 

“Did I already tell you you’re tight?” He asked in a low voice, exhaling his desires in deep breaths as he increased the penetration intensity. “I love it” He confessed with no guilt, keeping his thrust steady. 

“You’re thick” Otabek managed to comment in the middle of his whirlwind of sensations. “I love it” He praised Jean, resting his head against the wall with his lips half opened while he let himself go with the rhythm. 

“Thick to fill you better” JJ murmured happily, still unable to believe everything that was happening. 

Altin’s pose was an invitation JJ didn’t want to waste, so he went against the skin right under Altin’s chin, feeling in his lips how the air traveled by Otabek’s throat. He left wet kisses along the boy’s neck and he was deciding which rhythm he needed. Three thrusts and his lips took some spot of Altin’s skin. His thrusts became harder every time against Otabek’s entrance. He switched from sucking to biting, he cared little to nothing about piling up the bitemarks he was leaving on the Kazakh’s skin. 

  
  


Otabek was dizzy with all the sensations Jean was giving him. He formed a smile in between his gasping, his hands taking Jean’s back while the hips moved for meeting his thrusts. He went for the Canadian’s lips again as soon as he had a chance but a loud moan interrupted his kiss. 

“There! Harder” He asked and he was given. 

Leroy’s thrusts aimed at that place Otabek confirmed liked the most, JJ got that clear as the amount of indecent sounds he was listening to from the lips of what he believed to be a silent soul. The rhythm was increasing when his own wetness allowed him to move freely, up and down, over and over again while he felt the pressure building in his tip that was enjoying the territory he was conquering for the first time after what had felt like an eternity. 

Otabek felt like he was losing his mind for that boy once again, and he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered at that moment was that dirty but nice feeling. He gave a hard bite to Jean’s neck as JJ was hitting him over and over against his pressure point. Otabek looked at the mark he left on the Canadian’s neck, tightening his leg embrace to keep Jean on a thrust more time than necessary. 

“So good...” Otabek moaned against the King’s ear, nibbling Jean’s earlobe, “Make me cum” He added, as straightforward as always. 

Jean-Jacques felt full of many things in that moment. On one part, Otabek had made sure to touch his sensitive spots with his mouth, making him unfocus on his movements, and on another part, Otabek had made him a request that made him lose how little he had left of sanity. One of his arms took Altin with more strength while his cock pulled out almost completely before going in again in a sole thrust looking for the spot he already knew it was Otabek’s favorite. When he got him secured at that point, his other hand stroked Otabek’s erection intermittently. 

“Otabek...” He called only for the Kazakh’s attention, because Jean-Jacques Leroy had nothing to say to him at that moment. 

And it was that along his hand’s touch what made Altin reach his liberation point. 

“Jean...” Otabek moaned his name, while he felt all his body tense up in a so powerful way making Jean’s hand dirty, grabbing his neck to not lose balance. “D-Do not hold back...Do it inside of me.”

Jean-Jacques didn’t understand how that boy’s way of mentioning his name was giving him so many emotions. To watch Otabek cum in his hand made him push him against the wall, breathing heavily while looking at him. 

“I hope you don’t regret giving me permission.” He said, exhaling slowly. Jean-Jacques took his dirty hand to his face to lick the remaining bits Otabek had left there, and not wasting any second he went against Otabek’s mouth to share the taste. 

Altin couldn’t know it, but that will be the first time JJ would cum inside someone else. His sexual experiences had only been with Isabella, and of course he hadn’t done it with her, because of mutual agreement and prevention. It turned him on to have the opportunity to do it now, especially if it was inside that boy whose sole existence had blocked him from seeing the girl he had had next to him as something else. 

But Jean needed a faster rhythm to accomplish it and he made it. He held Otabek with both hands, this time his thrusts were more violent, a way he could do it only with Otabek. He setted a shamelessly intense rhythm, gasping hard each time while he whispered he only needed a bit more to get there, the pressure was becoming painful for him too. He felt how the Kazakh’s insides closed around his cock, and that sensation made him lose in an insane rhythm while his mouth moaned high. 

“Otabek!” He called him in a gasp, and he forced himself inside to keep going until his mind stopped working. 

A shudder traveled through his body before releasing in his tip that filled Otabek's insides. Leroy gave a long moan while looking at the other man with necessity. He stood still, unable to move, until the last of pulsations told him he had nothing more to give. He spent a few seconds breathing heavily because of the effort, and he carefully left from the place he had liked so much to possess. 

“Are you ok?” He had to ask, knowing he hadn’t been precisely gentle taking him, he wasn’t sure if Otabek could even walk normally after staying in that position for that long. 

“I’m fine. You?” Otabek nodded to go down and put his feet on the ground after so much time of being up, feeling his legs tremble. He took a handkerchief from the pocket of his forgotten pants to clean himself and Leroy before he got dressed again. “Now you believe me?” He asked in a deadly serious tone but he ended up laughing like he seldom did, remembering the initial discussion that drove them to do that crazy thing together. 

“I feel better than never” Leroy said, noticing Otabek wasn’t completely fine, but he wasn’t thinking of leaving him walking alone. He accommodated his clothes and the fresh breeze he heard made his heart tighten in his chest. It was strange, it hurt and he felt excited to be part of that happiness. “Your shameless state is no longer in doubt, Otabek...You’re a very pervert adult.”

“Need one to recognize another. ” He answered, and when they were starting to walk he felt one of the Canadian’s arms around his waist, being grateful for that gesture in silence. “You really left me almost unable to walk. Do you imagine if someone had caught us, Jean?” He asked, just realizing the magnitude of what hey had done. 

None of them had thought about it, but they had just broken several rules and there were no doubt an undiscussable amount of things that they maybe should have avoided, be it for maintaining the public order and decency as their own hearts.

“Oh, Otabek, you offend me...You make me sound like a perv!” Jean joked and laughed out loud. “I warned you from the beginning about the walking thing. If someone had caught us I just would have to say the truth, that a perv Kazakh seduced me for me to fuck him against the wall.” Jean-Jacques winked, and after staring at him while they walked, he sighed. “And...You’re gonna have to think about which clothes to use tomorrow because I think I overdid it with the bitemarks.” He added, looking at him with the corner of his eye. 

“You are a real pervert.” It was impossible not to laugh, Jean’s laughing was contagious. He bited his lips as they advance. “I’m not planning on going out tomorrow, so there’ll be no need. You’ll have to do something to cover yourself too. ”

“Hmmm, I’ll wear something useful and I think I will end up knocking at your door for you to see and meditate about the things you do. ” He clearly was joking about the last part, but at the same time it was a proposition. 

“My door will always be open to meditate, if you want to.” If Jean wanted to visit him, he could do it, but Otabek didn’t get his hopes up. 

Jean-Jacques’s mouth was open with that answer. His heart didn't stop beating, excited because of Otabek, it looked like it was painfully tightening sometimes, because he wasn’t sure if everything was real or if it was just a dream. After all, hadn’t he passed his previous days crying his heart out for that same young man that now was laughing with him?

“By the way, can I already say this is my kingdom’s territory now?” Jean-Jacques asked with the same joking tone, giving a soft squeeze to Otabek’s ass after crossing a street. 

“Hmm” Otabek half smiled. “The king still has a long way to go to claim that as his, but I admit the king’s touches are delicious.”

“Uff, long way. But JJ always gives his all!” He leaned against Otabek and looked at him for a while. He didn’t want to stay far from Otabek, but they were already close to the hotel and in that place no one would expect them to be together, let alone interchanging soft caresses. JJ scowled only thinking about it. “So...Are we friends again?”

Otabek stood still and didn’t know how to respond in the first seconds. Certainly he had been hating that man a few days ago, along with a lot of other feelings, his mind confused. But tonight it seemed that time hadn't passed, that the mistakes were never done, and that they could go back to feel comfortable with each other. No, he wasn’t able to understand it in those moments. 

“We have never stopped being friends.” He said at the end. After that, he stood in silence, pulling away from the other skater’s support. 

To wait and finally listen to Otabek saying that was a shock, but not a bad one. It was something Jean-Jacques had dreamed of but he had chosen not to get his hopes up of. His eyes flooded again while his smile trembled in his lips. 

“I...I see...That’s...That’s good. ” He managed to say, he had to leave the topic there or else he would go back to the beginning of the evening when he only wanted to cry. 

JJ let the other body go even if it felt bad to do so. He had so many things to tell him, but couldn’t find one fitting for the moment, so he just kept silent. 

“Time to go back to reality.” It was Altin’s turn to break the silence, that usually was broken by JJ. “But I also like the other reality...And I would like to repeat it.” He confessed looking at Leroy’s eyes. 

“In that case...” JJ said with a whisper, looking around to be sure the area was not dangerous, taking Otabek by the waist to pull him closer and give him a deep, desperate goodbye kiss. It was due to separate because of lack of air. “...Let’s make it a reality more often”. 

“For today, it is an  _ á bientot, mon ami _ ”(1) Altin said, after giving in to that kiss that felt like it was the last one. 

They didn’t want it to be the last one. None of them. But they couldn’t say it, not in that moment. Jean-Jacques was mute after listening to the Kazakh speak in French. After smiling at him even happier than before and feeling his heart jumping from excitement, he accepted it was time to say goodbye. 

“See you around, Otabek...And thank you.” The Canadian said and walked away as fast as he could. The part of him he wasn’t used to accept, was not prepared for staying to find out that thing he felt with so much intensity. 

“Thanks to you, Jean.” 

Otabek saw him walk away with a whirlwind in his mind. His expression was serene despite everything, because he had spent a lot of time controlling his emotions that now they didn’t seem to give him some rest. The only thing he got clear was that he wouldn’t be able to forget what had happened tonight, it didn’t matter what happened in the interlude. It didn’t matter what had happened before, either. 

When he was in his room, he got rid of some of his clothes and let himself fall on the bed, exhausted. The problems stood at the back of his mind, the work of thinking and meditating about everything that happened, how much he had given, how much he had received, and what he had lost and won in those days, all of that he will leave for the next day. For now, he hoped some rest served him well and he fell asleep in a matter of seconds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> Hello! This chapter is the follow up of the last one, it was too long to have it all in one chapter, and even like this, it is really long so if you made it here, congratulations! 
> 
> As you could see, this chapter has almost no angst, but it has hurt/comfort when two very young, and very horny men do what they can to leave their problems aside. 
> 
> I’m thankful for the comments! 
> 
> \--------------------
> 
> T/N: 
> 
> (1) á bientot, mon ami : See you soon, my friend. (French). It is on French in the original.
> 
> This chapter left me really tired. I've never translated so much smut before. It is exhausting, and I apologize if there are any mistakes. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I can see the light! 4 more chapters left! 
> 
> See you next chapter!


	13. Difficult Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Homophobic words.

Grand Prix was over and it was time to come back home. Canada was waiting for its king, even if the king himself had the head in another place. Jean-Jacques made sure to greet everyone he had to, but some of the people found it weird for him to not come back with Isabella as usual. 

The JJgirls, always worried about their idol, began to weave theories on social media, which JJ tried not to pay attention to because everything had become so complicated the moment he chose to have the life he wanted and not the one everyone else expected. 

But Jean-Jacques was loved, by his family, friends, fans and all the people he had helped through the years. It was off-season so he had time to do his charity work and seeing his Canadian friends, the ones he had met because of Isabella, as his own ability to make friends was still bad. 

Hanging out with them and not with the one that was supposed to be his girlfriend was making an impact on social media. There were rumours about the break up but no one was able to say anything concrete. Mrs. Leroy was worried because she knew what was happening and it wasn’t her place to say it to his husband. 

“JJ, can I come in?” She asked that day, waiting behind his oldest son’s room door. 

“Mom? Wait a minute, I’m coming!” He asked and when she let her in, she noticed he was dressing up to go to a party. “How do I look?”

“Perfect as always, honey, but you have to button up that shirt.” The woman made sure that most of the buttons were well placed and the young man opened up a little bit at the top of the shirt between laughs. 

“I can’t go to a party looking like this...I have to show some skin.”

Mrs. Leroy let him, and sighed. While he kept looking at himself in the mirror and adjusting the last details, she talked. 

“JJ...I want you to talk to your father.” She finally said. 

“Eh? What about? Is something the matter?” He asked without understanding, not paying much attention.

“You know exactly about what, Jean-Jacques...It’s not me who has to give him the news about Isabella.” She added. JJ stopped what he was doing and nodded. 

“It’s fine. But, could you be there too? Please...”

Nathalie nodded and JJ accepted to do it at that moment. After his mother left his room, he retrieved the ring Isabella had returned him from the drawer. He looked at it for a few seconds, building up some courage, she had the courage to give it back, and now he was going to need it for what he had to do. 

When he descended downstairs he met with his parents in the main living room, his brothers were not inside the house that afternoon. Alain was busy checking some newspapers on the internet, but agreed on giving them some time as his son was so serious and so was his wife. 

“What’s wrong? What’s with those faces?” He inquired. 

“Dad...There’s something you need to know…” Jean-Jacques began, keeping his eyes down. 

“Tell me, you know you can tell me anything.”

Jean knew that wasn’t true, so he felt trembling inside, but was brave enough to say out loud what he had been avoiding all that time. 

“Me...Isabella and me...The engagement is over. We’re not going to marry.” That cost him so much to say but he managed to keep his voice steady. 

“You and Isabella what? Ha! I’m sure it is just her way to keep you competitive, you don’t need to worry JJ. She’ll be back when you have the medal you promised to her, of course. That nonsense will go away soon, you’ll see. ” His father seemed to laugh and shook his head. 

“It’s not...Something that will go away...It has nothing to do with medals.” JJ murmured, still with his head down, trying to explain himself and remembering his failures on the final. 

“How come it has nothing to do with medals? Look, JJ, all the couples fight. Your mother and I do it, too, but that doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. Everything has a fix.” Alain Leroy tried to explain while looking at his wife to see if she helped with the talking, but she kept her mouth shut. 

“It’s not something that needs fixing...” JJ whispered. 

“What did you say?”

Jean exhaled heavily. He tightened his fists. This was harder than landing a jump. This was a discussion he would rather never have, but here he was and he had nowhere to escape. He remembered what he had in the pocket, which represented a heavy weight and a relief at the same time, so he took it with one of his hands before speaking again. 

“Dad...This is official...It is not something that it’s going to fix. Isabella dumped me for real, we’re not in touch anymore either, at least for some time.” JJ left the ring on the table, the thing that had represented his union with Isabella. “Do you understand?”

Alain Leroy changed his expression to one more serious in that moment. No, he wasn’t understanding anything and he didn’t like the tone his son was using. 

“No, what do you mean she broke up with you? Who does she think she is? If she is having a girl’s crisis or something, honestly...” He was going to give a list of complaints against the girl but one of Jean’s hands was up to keep talking. 

“Dad...Please, Isabella dumped me because...Because of me. It is my fault.” The hardest part was still not done, JJ felt his legs tremble, averting his gaze from his father’s. 

“Your fault? What does that mean? What’s wrong with you?”

Jean had to look at his mother in that moment. Because of that gesture, Alain looked at her, too, and saw the woman nodding without understanding a single thing. What was happening with his family those days? First, his oldest son had a nervous crisis, something he never saw before, in one of his important competitions. Then Isabella refused to travel with them, JJ was unfocused instead of coming back to his usual training routine, and Nathalie seemed to give him the silent treatment when they were talking about something other than the house shopping. And now this?

“Which of you is going to tell me what’s happening?” He asked, starting to get upset. 

“Isabella dumped me because I’m in love with someone else.”

The shock after that statement made the ex-skater silent. He gave an unbelieving look to his son. 

“You’re in love...With someone else? Is this some kind of joke? You spend every day with Isabella and the rest of the time you just train. Is it because some girl you met at a party? Is she someone from your fans?”

Those were too many questions and JJ didn’t know how to answer, or more likely, he was terrified to answer them all. But the more silence he kept, the worse it would be. 

“It’s not that...It’s not...I’m in love with someone else, and it is not a girl.” When he finally said it, something on his shoulders felt suddenly less heavy. He was surprised how much effort he had to put in saying something that should be simple. 

“JJ, it is not time for joking. How could it not be a girl?” Alain didn’t understand what his son was saying, maybe he had been seduced by an older woman? Alain scowled with no understanding of what was happening. 

“Dad...Please...”

“No ‘please’, What am I supposed to understand? If you’re having a crisis like the one on your short program, I need you to control yourself once and for all, if you need a therapist or...”

“I’m in love with a boy OK? A BOY!”

JJ hadn’t planned to yell like that. The silence that fell upon them was worse than before. His father looked at him like he didn’t recognize him, and while he tried to smile, it didn’t come out right. Alain sat up from his seat, denying with his head, something wasn’t right. Nothing was right. How was he supposed to believe what had just come out of his son’s mouth? That boy, whom he had been proud of all his life? The one that had carried his last name the best way, always? 

“I think...I think you’re confused. I mean. How can you be in love with a boy? You? My son! No, those kinds of jokes are not nice Jean-Jacques. ” The man tried to reason with JJ. 

“Dad...I’m being sincere. You told me I could tell you anything. I’m in love, with a boy. A man. ” Jean repeated trying to be heard. 

“Jean-Jacques, please. Pay attention to what you are saying, are you listening to yourself? The competition, the stress, all those things are affecting you. You have been competing with boys your age and younger than you, and maybe it is too much for you. In all my years skating I never had my sexuality in doubt and I was always clear about what I wanted with your mother. ” Alain tried to put an example using his own relationship, because that was what he expected from his child. 

“...I’m not...I’m not like you...” The boy murmured, feeling like he was drowning because of how his father’s mind was so closed and absolute. 

Mr. Leroy looked at him and denied with his head again, like that could erase what they were discussing. 

“Jean-Jacques, I don’t want to be harsh with you. I don’t want...I don’t want you to disappoint me like this… I think it was enough of this already. I don’t know what you say you feel or what you think you know about love. But it’s not so simple, and you don’t go through life falling in love and falling out of love just like that. Let alone between boys and girls. You’re young, you’re confused and that is all. This conversation is over, go to your room and do not think about going out tonight. ”

“Dad...Please...I am trying…” He felt the air closing on his lungs to listen to his father like that. It seemed the man was not going to listen. 

“Alain...” Nathalie interfered, giving a harsh look to her husband. 

“Dad nothing, go to your room Jean-Jacques! And you, Nathalie, what is this? Do you agree? Do you believe him? We need to talk, alone. ”

Jean was going to say something else, but he bit his tongue. He preferred to walk out of the living room as fast as possible, but he could catch some of the conversation on his way out. 

_ “How are we supposed to talk if you’re not listening?”  _

That was his mother’s voice, raising the volume of her tone. He didn’t like how that sounded. 

_ “Me? I am the one who is not listening? Your son is being unreasonable! He has been a normal man all his life and now it turns out he finished his engagement and because of a boy! A boy! How is that possible?” _

His father’s upset voice made him scared. 

_ “Alain! He’s your son! Why don’t you try to do your part and listen?” _

_ “No! My son wouldn’t do that! My son knows what he wants in life!” _

JJ was going to take the stairs but then he stopped. His steps were fast, not discreet at all, and finally he slammed the front door while he walked away as fast as he could from that house when he felt there was no space for him anymore. 

“JJ! Come back here! Jean-Jacques!”

His father called him, yelling, but JJ kept running. As far as he could. No one went to look for him and he was lucky it was that way. That night he got drunk and some photographs ended up on social media, along with a video of him telling the world he was single again. 

Next day, with his hangover, he met his father who went to pick him up. Besides a harsh look, they didn’t talk to each other. Not in that moment, not in the rest of the way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> Hello again.  
> It was hard to come back, the only thing I’ll say it’s that it was a shock when the new HC started to appear and between them, the WTTM theme. I felt Otabek’s personality changed so much...Also, the info about Jean and his virginal Persona that I feel I dirtied at some point.  
> So now it is when this becomes an AU. WTTM didn’t happen, so we’ll keep the same line.  
> Do not hate Mr. Leroy, he only loves his son so much and he is worried he no longer knows him, but Jean can’t keep faking what he is not, and he is going to show it. 
> 
> Have a nice week! 
> 
> ————-
> 
> T/N 
> 
> Talking with your parents about delicate stuff is always so hard.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> See you next chapter!


	14. Missteps

The months passed by and the situation with his father didn’t get better. They stopped talking with each other, JJ wasn’t doing any effort to get better at his behavior and Alain was still in denial about what the boy had yelled at him about him not being heterosexual. Four Continents Championship arrived before they could talk about it and with it also came some opportunities Jean-Jacques didn’t want to waste. 

The first one was winning his place on the podium, even if he struggled, it wasn’t impossible. He shared his place in front of everyone, along with the boy that was on his head more time that was healthy. Besides a look, nothing more was said at that moment. Once the competition was over, the night before everyone went home, JJ made sure to go out to one of the many parties available near the hotel. 

It wasn’t a secret that his interest in going out had a name and last name, but he arrived a long time before the boy showed up. He had been told the Kazakh was going to be at that specific club, so he had no choice but dancing for a little bit with unknown girls after having a drink. He definitely wasn’t behaving like the son his father expected to, but he didn’t care, not that night, even less when he finally could see the man he was waiting for. 

JJ didn’t approach just like that, no. He made himself noticed on the dance floor, watching how the Kazakh’s eyes were on him with every movement of his body, and when he was happy with the result, he approached with heavy breathing to the bar where the man was sitting and watching during his dancing. 

“Otabek… ” He greeted, half a smile, resting his hand on the table. 

“Jean... ” The young man answered looking at him for a few seconds before turning his head to the bartender to ask for drinks for the both of them. “How many have you drunk already?” He asked casually but he knew he had no right in controlling him. 

“Only one, thanks for caring. I thought...I thought you'd be here earlier” JJ commented but he had to raise his voice because of the loud music. 

“Were you waiting for me?” Otabek repeated, also resting an arm and the hand on the table. 

JJ felt unnecessary to answer, because he didn’t know what to say. So he just nodded and looked around wondering where the man’s company was, if Otabek had arrived with someone. 

“I found out you told the world you’re single...” Altin said in a low voice.

“Eh?” The Canadian doubted to have heard him and lowered his head to hear better. 

“I saw you told everyone you were free, again.” The Kazakh repeated, his fingers brushing Jean-Jacques’s sending chills down the back. 

“Ah...Y-Yes, but you were the first one to know.”

Jean-Jacques would swear he saw Otabek’s eyes shining after he talked, but they didn’t say anything else to each other while they drank their shots they just received. When JJ felt himself refreshed by the drink, he moved uneasy on his position and extended a hand to Otabek who looked at him, confused. 

“Would you dance with me?” The Canadian asked, receiving as an answer the hand that just took his own despite the forever serious expression of Otabek. 

The dance floor received them between a sea of people, but for them only each other existed. The rhythm the music set made them closer, some songs were slower while other ones made them rush the way their bodies were moving. They seemed to have a magnet in the middle because it wasn’t long before they were moving their hips too close, JJ had put one of his knees between Otabek’s, it looked like they were intertwining on purpose, but before the Canadian could make a comment about it, Otabek lift his arms up to take JJ by the neck, making his head go down to match his height and kiss him without losing the rhythm. 

From that moment Jean felt he had been lost, and he didn’t care not to be found again. He put his hands over Otabek’s clothes, squeezing his fingers like he wanted to pierce him through the clothes, enjoying that mouth that tasted like the nectar he needed in his life, all the things made him stop reasoning. 

Next day, social media had a photo, luckily it was blurred, where the back of the king could be seen while dancing in the club but the person who was with him was unrecognizable. From that moment on, his father didn’t talk to him, not even during the trip back to Canada. JJ couldn’t care less, his heart was racing and he had the headphones on, trying to ignore the depressing feelings and staying only with the ones he liked, like remembering the way his body had molded to Otabek’s, like they were made for each other. 

He tried not to get excited but it was impossible. They had too much history between them to ignore the spark that seemed to ignite every time they were together with the freedom of staying close to each other. 

Otabek felt something similar. The fact JJ had no longer a girlfriend had been the biggest trigger, because that meant he was free. And free, meant no remorse. He felt so good he decided he didn’t want to stop thinking about the details about what they were doing. 

During Worlds they had even more opportunities, but they never saw each other in daylight. Despite the yellow press, every time they could, they escaped during the night and without sharing too many words, they always ended up in a compromise position that usually lead them to both of them gasping from pleasure, wanting even more, longing for each other without any concrete words, without something that tied them together, but every time it was clearer that what was happening to them was not just an adventure. 

That night wasn’t very different from the ones before, this time Altin had gone out with De la Iglesia, who seemed more amused looking at his phone than enjoying the party. Altin struggled for a bit until finding the Canadian figure who filled his wet dreams. Once again he seemed to be with some unknown people. The Kazakh didn’t understand why it bothered him so much looking at Jean surrounded by strangers, but this time there were not only girls next to him but a boy as well, and he felt the bile going up in his throat while he looked from afar how JJ gestured to the boy for him to join their group. 

And then they started to look at each other in every possible moment. The times they were not looking at each other were because simply JJ was dancing with his back turned to him, slowly turning his head back just to call him. Then he did it again, from the sides, from the front, Jean’s body was moving at the rhythm of the music, he knew how to dance and his body was showing it well while he laughed with the girls and the boy who were so close with him, joining with those rhythms where no one put attention to the lyrics but the music was enough. 

Otabek was dying to approach him, for feeling his scent after the exercise from that hot body that night. But he didn’t count with the boy who was on the dance floor getting too close to the Canadian who didn’t take his eyes off the Kazakh. He growled at that closeness, it wasn’t he had something to claim for, because JJ wasn’t his, but...No, he didn’t like to see it, and Jean seemed totally oblivious of what was happening with the hands that found place on his hips while he moved with grace. 

“Let’s dance...” He said to Leo after the second bottle of alcohol. 

“No, no, Otabek. I don’t plan to be a third wheel, besides...Why don’t you just go and tell him to stop looking at you like you were food? But, well, you’re looking at him the same way though.” Leo commented while he was taking a selfie for sending it to one of his contacts, the one he would like to hang out with that night. 

Otabek nodded seriously, and made his way to the dance floor where, for his own relief, Leroy pulled away from the group to get closer to him, heavy breathing because of the dancing, with that bright smile that illuminated many people...and the Kazakh wasn’t immune. 

“Hello...Have we met before?” JJ approached to talk to him closer, against his ear so he was heard above the music.

“...Hello, I’m not sure.” Otabek answered on JJ’s ear, feeling suddenly clumsy and insecure of the game Jean had started. 

“Are you enjoying the party?” The Canadian asked. 

“So far so good. I was with my friends.” He explained, pointing behind him. 

The taller skater gave an appreciation look to who was Otabek’s companion and came back to Otabek, getting closer with a mischievous smile. 

“I’ve been looking at you since you arrived, you really caught my attention. My name is Jean-Jacques Leroy, but everyone calls me JJ...But just for you, you can call me Jean.”

Otabek’s heart jumped when he listened, averting his gaze and trying to contain the emotions inside his body.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I can be an idiot for you. Can I have your name?”

Altin gave him a deathly glare and then pulled him from the dark T-shirt he was wearing that day, soft and warm to the touch. His hungry lips took Jean’s without thinking that he was making him almost lose balance, or that he had to stand on his tiptoes to get what he wanted. 

“I thought you already knew my name, the last time you screamed it clear.”

It was Jean’s turn to feel overwhelmed. The boy got lost in his eyes for a few seconds, with the cheeks burning and the heart beating like crazy. Then he took Otabek by the wrist to take him to the dance floor. There, the party was each time more vivid with the rhythms that the DJ proposed. Step by step, they were adjusting to the song. For Jean-Jacques it was easier as he was already in party mode, but Otabek had trouble at the beginning finding the rhythm. 

  
  


When Jean could make Otabek smile he felt victorious. When Otabek could make Jean gasp because of his hip moves, got a similar feeling. Both were fighting a battle that didn’t require a winner, as the prize would be double that night. They were a mess of arms and legs, between laughing and smiling showing that thing they weren’t able to say out loud, not yet. 

“Jean...Let’s go...” The Kazakh asked, heavily breathing because of the dancing. 

“Where?” JJ asked, but he didn’t doubt for a second in following the other’s steps.

The truth was that knowing they had cameras on them was no big deal for none of them. Jean-Jacques wasn’t actively hiding, but he was sure that if his father would find out, then he would be in trouble. Otabek liked privacy, he had always preferred keeping away from gossip and he wasn’t interested in sharing his private life with unknown people. 

But, the attraction they felt was the doom of them. Even when it was risky, they found a poorly illuminated corner. Against all decency laws, they started stroking over the clothes, just like they had done while dancing, but this time the moves were messy, anxious. Jean looked at him with need while keeping Otabek against the wall with all his body. Otabek felt himself burning, inside and outside. 

“Jean...Ahmm...We can go to a hotel and...” He didn’t get to finish the sentence as Jean kissed his neck, Otabek gasping from pleasure feeling Jean’s hip against his. 

“Otabek...I want to taste you. Here. Can I?” Jean asked.

The Kazakh didn’t know how to react. He managed to slowly nod, and soon after he felt Jean’s fingers undoing his pant’s brooch, his throbbing erection now free. Ah, but...Was he going to do that right here? Altin looked around, trying to verify no one was looking. A moan escaped his lips when JJ dared to go down right there, he didn’t seem to care about the show he was giving, so Jean could lick Otabek’s cock that was already hard. 

“Mmmm...Jean...” Otabek called him with his voice in a thread, covering his mouth with the hand when he felt how he was being sucked by Jean’s warm mouth. 

If the music hadn’t been so loud, he surely could have heard the wet sounds coming from Jean, who was sucking him shamelessly kneeled in front of him. Otabek’s free hand went to the Canadian’s head, gripping it like that to keep his legs steady before the overwhelming feeling gave him chills. 

“Otabek...It is so long...So yummy...” Otabek had his eyes closed, but he opened them as he heard Jean-Jacques. Otabek pulled from Jean’s hair, if he talked so loud they were going to be caught, and although he didn’t want to stop feeling the pleasure, he’d rather choose not to be watched doing that. 

“Shh...Jean...Shut up” He asked, biting his lips when Jean started to suck him from the tip, stroking the rest with his hand, what made Otabek’s hip move on its own forward to meet that wetness he was so much enjoying. 

“Hmp! Otabek...Aah...Are you excited? Maybe you want to go through me...I’m sure you could, I mean, you’re so big….So hard...So... ” Jean was now praising his anatomy while leaving small licks that were just not enough. 

“Leroy, just shut up! Why the hell do you have such a big mouth?” Otabek hissed, trying to not raise his voice but Jean-Jacques was taking him to the limit of his patience. 

Hearing Jean laughing didn’t help to ease his worry. Otabek intertwined his fingers on Jean’s hair, guiding him so his lips stuck to the tip while he looked at JJ, frowning. Why couldn't he be just normal and take him in silence?

“That’s an easy question, Altin...” Jean said with a playing tone when he called him by his last name. Otabek growled at him. “It’s for eating you better.”

It cost Otabek a lot to keep his moans inside his mouth when he felt the Canadian’s mouth around him again. This time it looked like he was going to be swallowed completely. He could swear that at some point he touched too deep, and only thinking about it being Leroy’s throat his own hips seemed to move again, slowly while he let the other spoil him. 

He didn’t last long before releasing inside Jean-Jacques’s mouth. The emotions of that night couldn’t be put in words, and neither could Leroy, who came with the help of Altin’s hand. And that wasn’t the only thing they did that night.

Everything always came to an end, sooner or later. Worlds were over and with that, the season was over too. They didn’t say goodbye, they never did, because they only talked to each other when it was about those hot nights, and for Otabek, it was better this way. Talking between them only meant to touch difficult topics, the ones that made his chest beat too hard when he saw the other laughing with others, when he felt his eyes over him. And even if he didn’t say a word, only with those eyes over him, he knew he wasn’t the only one longing for the other’s company. No, this time, both looked at each other like they needed something more. And that was what Altin feared the most: Falling too deep. 

Jean-Jacques arrived in Canada with no desire to be at home. Just like the other times, the flight had been in complete silence. Just like the trip from the airport to the Leroy residence. The silent treatment his father had put on him was hurting, but he didn’t want to lie to himself, or the others. The only reason he wasn’t trying to explain himself anymore with his father was because he knew Alain would never accept what for him, was already clear. Even his mother seemed to understand...

Or so he thought. 

One week after coming back, he had taken the first days to rest, and then he started with his charity work. The usual. But when he was walking downstairs to go out to the foster child home where he worked, he heard his parent’s voices, too clear. Were they fighting again? He stood silent, debating if he would appear in the middle of the argument. 

“Are you really going to let him go to see those children?” Alain exclaimed, almost yelling. 

“I already told you, yes, they are waiting for him. Why is it so hard to understand?” Nathalie asked. 

“I don’t think it’s right. His bad behavior has been utterly disappointing. Those children need a decent figure, not a guy like...” A strong sound made Jean tremble, now that he ended up sitting on the stair. 

“What are you going to say right now? Alain, he is your son, whether you want to accept it or not, he is still your son” The woman had the patience to try again to talk with her husband. 

“No! My son wouldn’t behave like this!” He kept raising his voice. 

“What are you talking about now? If it is because of the parties, that’s nothing wrong, he’s young...”

“Look at it for yourself!”

Silence filled the place and Jean-Jacques could hear clearly how his mother sounded first taken aback and then terrified. What was happening? JJ managed to get up from the stairs, arriving at the living room’s door. He could see her mother squeezing some papers in her hands while she took a seat on the couch. He could see how his father looked at him angrier than usual and he was even more confused. 

“Jean-Jacques...Is it you?” The woman asked with a thread of voice, she extended to him what she had in her hands. 

He didn’t have to look very hard to recognize the papers. It was pictures. All of them were dark, from clubs, bars and other zones. Most of them were with someone else, a woman, a man, no one they knew, but the situations were the problem. One was him sharing drinks with a lost expression, another next to a group of smokers while he was laughing in the middle of them, there were even some photos where hands he didn’t remember anymore were against his exposed skin below his shirt while he was dancing with closed eyes. None of those pictures seemed decent, but the last one was without a doubt, the worst. He was kneeled in front of a boy, but nothing more was distinguishable. 

“I...I can explain...” He said, automatically, without understanding how his family had that kind of material, and even worse, how come his father never said anything to him before?

“What are you going to explain, eh? Your new image? Are you going to explain you’re behaving like...Like...” He could notice Alain’s voice was trembling from rage, and despite being scared he wasn’t able to shout his mouth.

“Like what? I behave like what? ” He repeated, challenging his father. 

“Like a whore! Are you going to explain you behave like a whore?”

Nathalie burst into tears and JJ felt mentally slapped. He reminded all the bad decisions he had taken in his life, and without saying a word he ran to his room. He could still listen to the yelling voices of his parents coming from the living room, feeling infinitely guilty while he was packing a suitcase with the few things his mind could process. He couldn’t be there anymore, he just couldn’t. 

He ran downstairs, meeting with his mother who was looking at him with hurt expression. Absolutely disappointed. 

“Jean-Jacques...Jean...What are you doing? We have to talk...You can’t...You can’t keep damaging your image like this and...”

“I’m sorry mom...”

Those were his last words before leaving the house. He heard how his parents called him, but he was fast and as soon as he reached the street he took a taxi and disappeared from there. This time he wasn’t planning on coming back. This time he thought it was a one way trip. He couldn’t go back, not after what had happened. 

He read twice the ticket he had just bought. He tried to wipe his tears and shook his head when the customer service lady asked him if he needed something else. He had always flown with his parents, even when he went to train in another city, or country. 

But now he felt like his family was broken and he was the only one to blame for it. He couldn’t deal with all of that, he couldn’t keep doing things the wrong way. He knew the damage he caused couldn’t be repaired, he knew there were wounds that would never heal, but only one place crossed his mind while he adjusted the security belts on the seat, inside the thing that will take him far away from there, traversing the ocean in the process. This was going to be a long flight, with three stops. He didn’t know what he would do there, but he was hoping to discover it in the hours he had to wait for reaching his destiny. 

Almaty. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ——————————————————————————————-
> 
> A/N
> 
> Here we are again, just two more chapters to go! Thank you for still reading this story! Please remember, this story began before all the official info about JJ was out, and so the WTTM thing. 
> 
> Greetings!
> 
> ———————————————————-  
> T/N 
> 
> Wow, today is this translation's birthday...So it makes sense to update today XD   
> Two more chapters to go! <3 
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you next chapter! 


	15. Coming Back to You

It took JJ approximately one full day to reach his destiny. During that time he was disconnected from his phone, and he kept it that way until he arrived in Almaty. He went to a hotel where he checked in to leave his suitcase, the only belonging he had. Then he went to speak with the receptionist. 

He had an idea in mind. He didn’t know if it would work but it was better than nothing. This time he really wanted to make things right, and the first step was asking forgiveness to the person he had hurt the most during the long process of his self discovery. That boy that gave him butterflies on the stomach when thinking of him, that boy who now JJ knew would do anything for, even to traverse the world just to see him again. 

His doubt was if JJ was going to be welcomed or not. He got another phone before heading to the place the receptionist had guided him, it wasn’t perfect, but it would work. As he looked at the sky, he remembered the promise they had made to each other years ago, the one he had been the first in breaking it. Now he had the chance to make things right. 

This wasn’t exactly a lake. It wasn’t big either, but it would have to be enough. 

He had saved one number from his previous phone, before turning it off again. He didn’t want to be interrupted by his parents at a bad moment. The sound of the device trying to connect the call made him nervous, but he managed to keep himself together for not throwing away the phone. Now that he was actually calling, he realized he had no idea what to say. 

“Salem...” The serious voice of the man greeted him in another language. 

“Hi...Hi...Eh...Is this Otabek’s number?” He asked, his voice trembling. 

“...Jean-Jacques? Is that you? What are you doing calling me from a...”

The pressure was too much. He hung out and he let himself fall on a bench in the park. There were few people around, no one watched as he pressed his temples trying to calm down. He cursed under his breath in French, feeling like an idiot because of his cowardice. He should have prepared a speech or something beforehand.

His phone started ringing after a few minutes. JJ let it ring and ring, until Altin seemed to hang out. He had his head down, asking what was he going to do with his life, but the phone rang again incessantly, until he was brave enough to answer, but not saying anything.

“Jean-Jacques Leroy! Why aren’t you answering the goddamn phone? Is this funny to you?” He listened to the scolding and that made him laugh nervously. 

“N-No! It’s not that...Is...That...I was so scared! I was afraid you didn’t want to talk to me...”

“Jean-Jacques...Hey...Why are you calling me from this number? It doesn’t seem Canadian...” Unlike JJ, Otabek seemed to know what to say. 

“I’m...I’m in Almaty...”

His confession was easier than expected. Otabek, on the other side, was silent. 

“Otabek...Are you still there?” He asked doubtfully. 

“Tell me where you are.” The Kazakh commanded. 

“Eh?” 

“Tell me where you are! I’m going to pick you up.”

JJ’s heart was beating strongly once he gave indications of the place he was in. He needed to prepare mentally for what he was going to do, or better off stop thinking at all, so he could be brave before the cowardice and fears made him back away and walk the right path this time. Now he was going to do what he should. Whatever it takes. He repeated that over and over again as he walked towards the most lake-like thing he found, water was not exactly clear, but it was at a certain point on a park that wasn’t very crowded. 

He looked around and when he thought he was sure no one was watching him, he started to take off his clothes, trembling a little due to the temperature change. When he finally could feel the water he felt scared because of the probability of the water being too deep. A thing he hadn’t considered, but he was already naked and was going to keep going to the end. So he moved until the water covered his hips, complaining because of the cold. 

Otabek had been in his apartment that day, until Leroy’s phone call. He drove the streets on his motorcycle at a speed that probably was not safe. When he found parking, he knew too many minutes had passed, so he started to run looking for Jean-Jacques who had told him he was there. _Close to the lake_. 

“Jean-Jacques! What do you think you’re doing?”

Altin didn’t understand since when the lake had been there, let alone one that looked not so good, even worse, he almost had a stroke when he saw what JJ meant with “close to the lake”. He saw Jean naked, deep in the water until his waist on that water that most likely was freezing. 

“Ota-Otabek!” The Canadian called him with his trembling voice as he looked at Otabek. 

The Kazakh looked at the pile of clothes resting next to the shore and denied with his head, still not able to understand all that was happening around him. This seemed a surreal situation. Leroy was there, on a wannabe-like, without clothes, in his city?

“Leroy, get out of the water, now!” He commanded, looking around, wondering how come no one stopped that crazy man to go in there, but it seemed no one else was there. 

“N-No...Y-You have to forgive me first...Right?” The Canadian refused, still trembling and walking towards the center of the lake, with the water starting covering more of his body. 

“What are you talking about? Leroy I’m telling you to go out now! It’s dangerous!”

Otabek’s head was spinning trying to make sense of everything, and then a childish voice came to his mind, along with a memory of something he thought he had forgotten…

_“Whoever breaks the promise will have to swim in a frozen lake! ...Naked!”_

“You have to be kidding me...Get out of the water before you get sick!” He yelled, worried. He heard Jean’s sneeze with his words. 

“B-but...Not yet...” JJ blabbered, still trembling, staying still with the water up to his chest. 

“Go out I’m telling you! Go out or I’ll go there to push you out myself!” He threatened, taking off his jacket. That seemed to work because the mad skater started walking towards the edge of the lake. 

After a slip, a few more yelling and a mental slap, Altin managed to have JJ’s trembling body close to him, he covered Leroy with his jacket and with what he could while the other reacted to the weather after getting his body wet that way. 

“You’re such an idiot, I can’t believe you’re naked, and here...Do you know that’s illegal?” Otabek kept scolding him, angry as he wrapped JJ’s clothes around him. It seemed that JJ’s only reaction was trembling, but after a few moments he realized Jean was laughing, supporting himself on his shoulder. The Kazakh shook his head, still mad, as he stroked his back. Those clothes were not going to be enough to get him dry. 

“Y-You haven’t told me you forgive me...Yet” JJ said without giving a step away, his body needed heat. 

“Aff, I had already forgiven you, ok? But I’m about to get pissed again. Who in his sane mind could think of fulfilling that promise?” He asked, resigned and was taken aback because of the Canadian’s ideas. 

Leroy looked at him at those words. Otabek’s scowl was so deep it looked he was going to punch Jean at any moment, and even like that, it was the most beautiful vision he had seen in the last days, so Jean kept looking, admiring him. The Kazakh took him by the cheek like he was going to squeeze it, but he kissed him softly instead. 

“Jean” He called him by the name he had always used. Him and only him. “What are...What are you doing here?” He finally asked, without letting him go. 

“I want to do things right this time, Beka.”

Otabek was still confused about what was happening, but when he listened those words, the voice so sincere, he only nodded, making sure the boy got dressed to take him by the hand, guiding Jean-Jacques to his motorcycle. He didn’t even ask where he was staying at, he took him directly to his apartment, the one he had all to himself. 

“Go take a shower, you can use some of my clothes, I think I have stuff that may fit you” He said once they arrived, the Canadian nodded, and waited for orders, doing small expressions of awe every time he looked at something new or awesome at that place. 

Otabek was afraid Jean could catch a cold, so he prepared him a hot beverage while he was in the shower. He didn’t want to give much thought to what kind of water was on that lake where Jean had entered without thinking, but he hoped it was nothing that was going to bring trouble to Jean’s health. 

When Otabek was stirring the cup of hot chocolate, his phone rang. An unknown number, again. He took the call, Jean was still in the shower. 

“Hello?” He answered, putting the phone between his cheek and the shoulder so he could add more chocolate to the cup. 

_“Otabek?”_ A woman’s voice talked to him from the other side of the line.

“Yes, it’s me.” He said, thinking where he had put the cream and marshmallows. 

_“Otabek, this is Nathalie Leroy, JJ’s mother.”_

Otabek would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. He looked everywhere and then he took the phone correctly, unsure of what to say. What was happening?

“Good M-...Good afternoon, Ma’am” He greeted as normal as he could. 

_“You see...This may sound weird, but JJ is missing and he doesn’t answer his phone. If you have news or know anything about him, I would really appreciate it for you to tell me please. This is my phone number ”_ She talked calmly, and Otabek began to understand. 

“Oh...I see...Ok.” He said, now a bit less confused. 

_“Thank you so much Otabek...Has he been in touch with you?”_ She asked after a few seconds.

“No...” He lied too well, and soon after he knew the water wasn’t running anymore on the shower. “I have to hang up, I’m sure Jean is okay.”

_“I hope it’s true. Please, if you know something, I really need you to tell me, I am utterly worried, we had an argument and...”_ Nathalie’s voice was losing steadiness on the last phrase, and Otabek could hear sobs coming from the phone. She was crying. 

He felt terrible for hiding her son’s whereabouts. He knew how that woman adored JJ, even if it looked like she overprotected him. Otabek had noticed the love she had for JJ during the time he had lived close to Leroy's home. How long had JJ been missing for worrying his mother like this? Why had he run away from home? Too many questions. Questions he didn’t know if Jean would answer when asked.

_“Oh, if I interrupted something, I’m sorry. If you have any news, please give me a call.”_ She repeated when Otabek stood silent. 

“Ma’am, wait!” He whispered at last. He moved outside his apartment to keep talking, hoping JJ didn’t listen.

_“Yes?”_

“I know where Jean is...”

_“Eeeh? You know? Where is he? My JJ? Give me the address, I need to go for him!”_ Otabek began to worry because of how much distress he could feel in the woman’s voice. 

“Wa...Wait, please. It’s ok. He’s okay, he’s in Almaty. I brought him home. Please do not worry, he is safe here. I don’t know how much he is planning to stay but I won’t leave him alone.” He said, trying to calm her down. 

He listened to her sobbing once again and stood silent for a moment. He didn’t know if telling her the truth was a good idea, but he wasn’t cruel enough to let that woman go to sleep with the worry that night. 

_“It’s ok. I understand. Thank you so much for telling me...If he needs something, anything, tell him he can come back home...Please...L-Look after him”_ She added, her voice broken because of overwhelming emotions. 

“I’ll look after him. I promise.”

And so, Otabek hung up. He didn’t reveal more information, as he didn’t have it, and he stayed a few minutes wondering what he should do first. 

Otabek went inside his apartment, looked for the chocolate mug, still hot and decided to take it to JJ, who he called. JJ didn’t listen and didn’t come when he raised his voice calling his name, so he went to the room and found him on the bed, surely too tired to put full clothes on, as Jean only had a T-shirt, too small for him, and a pair of sweatpants, also too short for the Canadian man. 

“Jean, are you asleep?” He asked what was evident while he left the mug on the nightstand, sitting next to the boy, who moved when listening to Otabek’s voice. 

“Beka...Hmmm...Shower was so nice...” He blabbered. Otabek extended his hand to touch Jean’s hair, still damp. 

“You have to dry your hair, I brought you hot chocolate. Come on, you don’t want it to get cold, and I don’t want you to get sick.”

JJ pouted for a few seconds but he sat on the bed at last, rubbing his eyes. Otabek looked at him, drinking the chocolate while half-asleep, just letting him get comfortable on his bed. Jet lag must have hit Jean hard, too. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow...” He whispered, caressing Jean’s cheek, and the Canadian nodded.

Otabek stared at Jean for long minutes, watching him sleep until finally he decided to eat something light. After taking a shower he lay on his bed next to the boy who clouded his mind, the one who seemed to have chosen to take refuge in him when having a hard time, he didn’t know how to feel about it. Finally, he fell asleep. 

JJ was the first to wake up, a bit disoriented when it was morning. When he noticed he wasn’t alone on the bed, his heart began beating strong, knowing he hadn’t dreamed everything that happened last afternoon. He left Otabek to rest, enjoying the view of watching him sleeping, not able to keep the smile out of his face because he was at his side. 

“Jean...Are you going to stare at me all morning?” The Kazakh murmured when he managed to react, feeling observed. 

“You’re really beautiful even when you’re asleep.” JJ explained. 

“You are, too.” Otabek answered, yawning, trying to avoid the blush on his cheeks. 

“Thanks...” Jean whispered, extending a hand to touch Otabek’s. 

Otabek looked at him and intertwined his fingers. Then he remembered they had a pending conversation. 

“Jean...You still don’t tell me how you decided to come here...Do your parents know?” He asked directly.

“Mhm...No...” Jean averted his gaze. 

“Do you want to talk about it? ...Please?”

“It’s...Dad got really angry with me. He’s not happy because now I party too much and...He hasn’t been the same with me since I told him I was into boys. I mean...One boy.”

Altin was shocked by the revelation. Now he understood what had happened, but he still didn’t have the full version. 

“I know it’s complicated, but don’t you think they’ll be worried sick if you don’t tell them where you are?” Otabek asked again.

“It’s...I can’t go back. Not anymore.”

“What do you mean you can’t go back anymore? Why do you say that?”

“There are pictures...Remember? That night, in the club after Worlds...Someone took some pictures while...Well, while I was with you. You don’t appear in the photos and I look blurry but...My parents saw them.”

The situation was worse than Otabek thought. Jean-Jacques seemed to bury his face on the pillow, and Otabek squeezed his fingers trying to reassure him, to tell him he was with him and he wasn’t thinking of leaving him alone, but he didn’t know how to help him either.

“I understand...But, you can’t live in hiding, and you know it.”

JJ nodded, moving his face to look directly at Otabek. There were still, so many things he wanted to say to him.

“I’m not afraid of the pictures. I’m more afraid that you think I am playing with you, and that you think I do those things with anyone...I really, really want you”. JJ murmured with all the courage he could gather, and then sighed heavily. 

The shock was visible on the Kazakh’s expression. He opened his mouth but he closed it right away. He kept his lips closed as his heart began to run at a mortal pace. 

“Jean...Did you say...Did you say what I think you said?” He inquired, still not believing it. 

One thing was having crazy nights with alcohol between them. One thing was sharing that physical need they had for one another. But that didn’t have any connection with feelings...It wasn’t supposed to. Or, was he not the only one with so many doubts he tried to avoid for not getting hurt?

“Of course I said it. I want you, Beka...And I am sure...I’m sure that I love you.”

Otabek didn’t open his mouth again. Actually, he didn’t even blink. His eyes were suddenly full of tears, his heart was still beating so hard he was scared it was going to leave out of his chest looking for the heart of the one he had before him. It wasn’t fair. It was supposed he wasn’t going to let himself go, not again. It was supposed he had gotten over it. That he could see him without feeling his world spinning. But, it turns out he can’t. 

“Beka...Did you hear me?” JJ frowned, worried. He sat on the bed, still holding the hand of the boy looking at an undefined spot on the room. “Beka...Please...” He asked, and kneeled on the bed, holding Otabek’s fingers. “I promise I won’t hurt you again, and I am going to fight for us this time...I-I don’t care about what everyone else thinks...Do you...Would you accept...To be my boyfriend?”

Leroy was scared when he saw Otabek cry, but before he could tell him something, he felt pulled by Otabek’s arms, hugging him tightly, telling him yes. His heart felt warm and his own eyes now were full of tears while he melted in that embrace with the one he loved so much. It felt so good to say it aloud. 

“I thought it never...I thought it’ll never happen...” Altin whispered when he managed to calm down the race of emotions in his body.

“Is that a yes? I’m gonna cry if you say no” JJ told him, with a broken voice.

“We’re already crying anyways...Of course I say yes, Jean.”

It didn’t pass much time before they both looked at each other with all those feelings they could show directly, with all those things they had contained for so long until this very moment. Because the link they had couldn’t have been broken, not even with all the difficulties they found on the way. 

They got closer to kiss, and then, during that morning, they found each other in Otabek’s bed sheets, giving each other the physical affection as well as emotional. They moaned between soft, caring eyes full of love, better than any of the other times they had done it before. They felt their bodies fusing together, in body and soul, and their hearts, beating at unison until they had to stop to recover strength. This was the first time they did it on a bed, and being conscious of this fact made them resonate even more. 

“I love you, Jean.” Otabek told him, resting from the last round, both of them were naked and tired. The smile Jean gave him to correspond to his words made him so happy Otabek was at the verge of believing he was dreaming. 

“I love you too, Beka...From long ago.”

They had breakfast almost at lunch time, so they turned it into brunch between nice smiles. But when Altin saw his phone, he remembered something important, and got closer to Jean, for trying reasoning with him. 

“Jean...It’s not that I don’t want you here with me. It makes me really happy we’re together, but...You need to talk to your parents.” He said while washing the dishes. 

“Beka...No...Please...” JJ asked, helping him dry. 

“Jean...You know I am right.” The Kazakh looked at him.

“B-but...I want to know the city you were born in and...” JJ tried to make excuses.

“I can show you around whenever you want, but you really have to talk to them at some point. Or, do you want them to hate me?” He explained, leaving the dishes aside to keep his full attention on the conversation.

“No! Never!” JJ was scared with the mere idea.

“So? I’ll go with you if you need it.” Otabek offered.

“...Would you do that for me?” The Canadian looked at him, excited.

“I would do a lot of things for you, Jean.”

“Oh, Beka!”

JJ’s now official boyfriend hugged Otabek without a doubt, and Otabek received him, caressing JJ’s back, letting their bodies fit each other the way they best did. Many minutes passed while Otabek managed to convince Jean-Jacques completely, that if he really wanted to do the right thing, then he needed to talk to his parents first, even if he was terrified at the idea.

Miles away from there, in the Leroy household, silence was in the living room where Nathalie was looking at a picture of his son. Her heart was calmer since she knew where he was, but even like this, everything seemed to break her. How could her family be destroyed that way, without a notice? It hurt too much to accept it.

When Alain reached her side, looking for something to tell her after the nightmare hours they have lived while searching JJ’s whereabouts, she looked at him directly at his eyes, avoiding the man saying something that most likely upset her more.

“Alain Leroy...If JJ doesn’t come home...If he never comes back...I’m never forgiving you, you hear me? Never!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> Our main characters are finally reunited, but they still have a fire proof to pass. The family subject is something that simply can’t be ignored. 
> 
> ——————  
> T/N 
> 
> One more chapter to go. I'll probably post it before the year ends...
> 
> See you next chapter!


	16. We Make Our Way As We Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Final Warning: HAPPY ENDING!

Jean-Jacques was so scared he had refused to call his mother while he was in Kazakhstan. Otabek didn’t manage to convince him otherwise, and in the end they went out to hang out together. Altin enjoyed how tight his clothes looked on Jean, but the Canadian really needed something more to wear besides Otabek’s shirts, which were not long enough, and not even mentioning the underwear, hugging even more those hips and the round shape of Jean’s ass. 

Shopping day was fun and quiet. Beka took Jean to the places he liked the most, they ate together before going back to sightseeing until they got back to the apartment to have dinner. 

So the Kazakh brought the theme again. He struggled convincing Jean-Jacques because he was really, really stubborn. But finally, they decided they’ll fly to Canada the next day, so JJ could make amends with his family as soon as possible. 

The trip was long and tiring, especially because Otabek’s partner wasn’t able to calm down, and they couldn’t sleep much on the way while Altin tried to reassure him that everything was going to be okay and nothing wrong was going to happen. He really thought Jean’s parents could understand him, or at least accept the situation, knowing how much they cared for the boy. 

It was 11 o’clock when the taxi left them a few meters from the Leroy house. Jean-Jacques was visibly conflicted, so much Otabek thought his blood wouldn’t come to his fingers if Jean kept squeezing his hand like that. 

“Jean...Look at me” He asked with a soft voice, still wanting to comfort him. 

“Eh? W-What?” Jean asked. 

“Jean...” The Kazakh took JJ by the cheeks, making him look at him directly in the eyes. “Jean, everything is going to be okay, you understand? And if not everything goes so well, I am going to be here, waiting for you. But you have to do this, you hear me?”

Seeing the Canadian’s face full of tears again wasn’t helping Otabek, but he let him be. After a few seconds, Jean-Jacques was calmed enough to hug him, until JJ separated on his own, feeling a bit more confident for doing what he had to do. 

“Thank you..Thank you for being here.” Jean said, leaving a soft kiss on Otabek’s lips. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Go, Jean. I won’t go anywhere.”

Altin watched how Jean-Jacques walked to the door of his house, sighing. He knew how hard it would be, but that part he didn’t tell him. All of this brought him memories about the time he decided to tell his mother about his orientation and some other things that happened while he was living in Canada. He supposed JJ’s parents would be different...He knew they would be different, from what he had heard from Jean-Jacques. So before JJ opened the door, when he looked at Otabek with his eyes, Otabek nodded firmly. 

And then, the only thing left was waiting. 

* * *

Alain’s wife at least got up from bed that day, but she was still not talking much with him, only strictly necessary stuff. Alain didn’t understand, he didn’t want to understand why she was so mad at him, when the one who caused all the trouble was abroad, miles away, on the other side of the world, refusing to come back with them, his own family. While Alain looked at the medals they kept on one of the main spots of their living room, his heart ached thinking about his oldest son, the one who had made so many mistakes, more than he could count, and now he had left with no explanation. 

Alain has done everything for his young man, he has even paid for those photographs to be erased from everywhere, everything for his family. So his wife wouldn’t have to cry at night, so his other children didn’t suffer because of mean people. But his son, his small child, wasn’t there, and that hurt more than anything. The pain he grew to recognize on his forehead began to rise, he squeezed his eyelids. No, he wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t thinking about doing it right now, he had to remember the reason why he was upset and…

The sound of the front door opening didn’t catch his attention, Nathalie used to go out to look at the garden to soothe herself. But the steps he heard didn’t belong to her. 

“Jean-Jacques?” His body didn’t hesitate in turning around quickly. 

“Hello...Hello, dad.”

They stared at each other in silence. Alain made a fist with his hand, but not for long, as he walked right towards his son, who stood still in the middle of the living room. Jean-Jacques closed his eyes with his shoulders down, when he was waiting screaming or even being hit by his dad. But his father didn’t do anything he expected, no, his eyes betrayed him while Alain got closer, and when his father was close enough, he pulled Jean-Jacques’s body with his arms, surrounding him with them. Then, Alain could hear the sobs of Jean-Jacques, who he grabbed strong within his arms while he joined him with a silent sobbing. 

“D-dad...Dad...I’m...I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Alain left Jean-Jacques talk without pulling apart from him for not a single second. The knot on his throat was too big, and the angsty hours weighed still on his chest, right where he held his skater son, taller than him, trembling like when he was a little boy, and to Alain’s eyes, he was still his small little boy.

“Jean-Jacques...Why? Why did you do that? You can’t, you can’t leave like this again, you hear me? You can’t! Your mother couldn’t sleep, and I...” Words were hard to put straight in his mouth because Alain didn’t know what to say first.

Before he could add something more, he listened hurried steps, and the sound of a crying sob startled him. He knew that sob very well. 

“Jean? Jean-Jacques?” Nathalie looked at them with the hands on her mouth before running towards his oldest son. 

“Mom!” JJ raised his eyes and met his mother, even if his father’s arms still had him restrained. “Mom, I’m so sorry...F-Forgive me please...”

“Shh, calm down my baby...Calm down, you’re already here. Everything is okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

The three of them were crying. Alain tightened his lips while he watched two of his most important people hugging each other. His other children hadn’t woken up yet, so he didn’t expect them to appear so they worried more than they already had after JJ’s departure. 

Something inside Alain’s felt like the very first days, years ago when he decided to have a family along with Nathalie, and soon his firstborn arrived at home. He couldn’t understand what things he had done on the way for them to suffer like this, but he was feeling better now he was seeing JJ there with them. He waited patiently for his wife and son to calm down and took them to take a seat. Nathalie was glued to JJ’s hands while she asked him about what he had done those days, and Alain went to prepare something to drink for the three of them. He came back with three cups of coffee, placing them on the coffee table, taking a seat on the sofa in front of the other two.

“JJ...” Alain cleared his throat and JJ looked at him in that same instant with a worried expression. He had his eyes still swollen because of his crying. “I need to talk to you, alone.”

“Alain...Don’t you dare...” The woman warned him, pulling his son to her protectively. She wasn’t planning on losing him again.

“You’re too tense, Nathalie. I need to talk with my son, alone. And JJ isn’t going anywhere, right?” He asked. 

“Y-yes mom. Don’t worry. I won’t run away this time.” JJ assured her. 

Nathalie accepted after looking at her son’s eyes, but before leaving with her cup of coffee, she gave him a big hug and left a kiss on the forehead, besides a warning gaze at her husband. After she was gone, the two men were now alone.

“Dad...I...” Jean-Jacques tried to talk.

“Wait...Enough of apologies. I believe you. I just...JJ, you can’t be a responsible adult this way. It doesn’t work like this. I’ve thought a lot these days, about everything that happened, and I need you to explain it to me. I’m not your mother, I can’t read what’s in your head.”

They crossed eyes and the skater wiped his tears before beginning to talk. It was hard, more than he had believed. His father asked for him to repeat certain parts of the story, and others, he kept them for himself because he knew the man couldn’t accept so much so fast. What he could tell, though, was how his feelings have born and grown, and all the mistakes he had made those years believing he was on the right path. 

“Who is it?” Alain finally asked after a long pause, while trying to process everything without yelling to his son because of what he was listening to. 

“It’s...It’s Otabek...” Jean said, feeling the heavy weight of that name on his lips. A tiny smile escaped from his mouth even if he tried to hide it.

“Altin? Otabek Altin?” Alain repeated, and sighed. “And you say he does love you too? If he is playing with you and you ruined your possible marriage for...”

“No, no, dad! We love each other...I-I hurt him so much and I thought he was never going to forgive me and I... I really want to make it right from now on.”

Alain sighed longer this time, as he listened to his son speaking like that. He didn’t know the moment JJ had grown up so much, or at which point JJ had changed. Maybe he was always this way and he just didn’t see it. At the end, from all the bitter comments he could say, despite still not believing completely that Jean was sure about what he was doing, he knew he had no choice than nodding and waiting for the best, as he had done it with his wife when they decided to take JJ themselves in coaching. They had allowed him to follow his own path because he was too stubborn to follow everyone else’s, because he had been born to shine, even if not everyone understood. 

“It’s okay.” Alain murmured after his meditation.

“Eh? It’s okay?” JJ asked, doubtful. Maybe he listened wrong. 

“I’m still not completely sure, I need to talk with Altin, but I can accept the things you say and I understand there was no future with Isabella.”

“Oh! Thanks! Dad! And I-I...About the pictures...” JJ stuttered.

“Don’t thank me so fast, if that boy makes you cry or if he hurts you, everything is over. And I mean everything, understood?” Alain warned. “I took care of the pictures already and I don’t want to know anything else about them.”

JJ was astonished with his father’s words. Then, he laughed, sat up, leaving his cup of coffee, to get closer to his father, and hug him tight himself. Alain welcomed him, no complaints. His son had always been fond of affection demonstrations. Despite Alain probably would never understand him at full, he wanted his happiness above all else. 

“Are you going to invite him in? He must be freezing outside.” Alain suggested after ruffling his son’s hair. 

“Oh...Of course! I have to tell my mom...Uhm...Dad?” JJ had walked to the front door, but before disappearing he had stopped. 

“Yes? What happened?” Alain asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Otabek is my boyfriend.” JJ threw the information like a bomb before running away from there.

“Oh, ok- wait, He is your WHAT? JJ come back here!”

The official introduction of Otabek was a complete fuss. After his father’s yelling, all the other children had woken up and with all the Leroys in the same space, Otabek saw himself surrounded by the family that had passed so much time without receiving him at home. It was uncomfortable but Otabek enjoyed it nonetheless. Especially because of the moments he could see Jean directly to the eyes and see himself reflected in bright blue with so much joy.

That day went faster than expected. When the evening finally arrived and Mrs. Leroy invited him to stay; he was surprised, mostly because of the disapproving look on his boyfriend’s father. Of course he couldn’t accept, he didn’t want to cause trouble, but the disheartened look on JJ’s face managed to convince Alain that Altin could stay as long as he didn’t share the room with JJ. 

They behaved that evening, the farewell was long, and they ended up talking on the phone until late, a few walls between them. To be reunited after so much time made them be close to each other a need. They wished to be together, wanted to hold hands, give long kisses, and enjoy the other’s laugh. It was strange and it felt so strong that Otabek sometimes feared this was a dream too beautiful to be true.

Something similar felt Jean-Jacques, and his fear was even more intense when the days in Canada came to an end for the Kazakh. Leroy was silent on the way to the airport, as he rarely was. He held Otabek’s hand while his parents were taking them in their car. It wasn't because they feared JJ was going to break his promise of not running away to Otabek again, but they did want to show Altin he was welcome with the Leroy family, despite everything that had happened. 

Otabek looked at Jean on the corner of his eye, finding him showing worry and sadness. Otabek felt almost the same but he wasn’t as expressive, and his uneasiness came more from the fact he was watching his boyfriend so affected by his departure. They both knew it was going to be hard, but at this moment it seemed worse than expected. 

“Do you really have to go?” Jean asked when they were alone, away from the adults, waiting in the line for the paperwork before the fly.

“Yes. I didn’t come prepared for much days and I have some stuff to do.” The Kazakh answered. 

“You’re leaving again...” Leroy whispered, looking at the floor.

Otabek remembered the last time he had left this place, but not the situation was completely different. This time he had another person at his side, and his feelings for leaving this country didn’t compare to the ones he had in the past.

“Only for a while.” He confirmed.

“The distance...Are we going to be okay?” JJ’s voice sounded broken.

“We’re going to be okay, Jean.” Otabek said, confident, taking JJ’s cheek giving him a soft, short, significant kiss.

It was bittersweet feeling the other’s body trembling because of the past’s fears, so Otabek caressed him with affection, waiting for Jean to calm down.

“Besides, I still have to show you around in Almaty.” Otabek added, looking at him in the eyes. “Do you wanna come with me? I don’t think your parents refuse if you tell them.” He suggested, turning his face to the spot where the Leroy’s were.

Jean-Jacques looked at him in shock. He blabbered something incomprehensible and then looked at his mother who was smiling in the distance, nodding on her own. 

“Are you serious?” The Canadian asked, still doubtful.

“Why would I lie to you, Jean?”

“Oh...”

Buying a new ticket was a whole fuss, as it was Alain’s reaction realizing his son wanted to leave again. But this time, Nathalie convinced him, and as he had already had a private conversation with Otabek during those days, he could say he was a bit more relieved, but his calm was based on threats he put on the young man interested in his son. This was all a complete madness. 

“Take good care of him, Otabek. ” Nathalie asked while he hugged him.

“I’ll always take care of him, Mr. and Mrs. Leroy. ” Otabek nodded to both of them, even Alain, who looked at him with a scowl.

“That I hope, boy, that I hope.”

Jean-Jacques gave double hugs to his parents. He also asked them to talk with his brother about having an older brother prone to disappear. They made all the necessary paperwork and his mother promised to send him a luggage with JJ’s clothes so he could be more comfortable and not depend only on Otabek’s clothes. 

After saying proper goodbye to his family, Jean-Jacques walked with Otabek and held hands towards the plane which would take them to the Kazakh’s city.

“Do you think your family would want to meet me?” JJ asked once they had their seatbelts on.

“Jean, everyone knows who you are, why wouldn’t they want to?”

“Oh...Right...B-But, I was saying like meeting me as your boyfriend!”

Jean-Jacques’s laughter filled the place, and this time, the trip was pleasurable, so much Otabek could sleep, resting on the Canadian’s shoulder who looked at the Kazakh in love. JJ was sure not to wake him up, leaned a bit and left him a soft kiss on the forehead, closing his eyes in the process. He still couldn’t believe he could be that happy in just a few days, but his heart told him this was real, his heart beating with fresh spirit, feeling better than ever.

Only one picture was posted on social media that day, an image with JJ and Otabek hands intertwined, and a small caption JJ didn’t have to think too much to know it was the right one:

**_“I finally found you”_ **

  
  
  


_ Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you _

_ You are my only one _

_ I let go, there’s just to one who gets me like you do _

_ You are my only, my only one _

**_THE END_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ————————————————————-  
> A/N:
> 
> And we reached the end! Thank you so much if you made it here. This roller coaster of adventure ended a year after, but we had a little of everything here. 
> 
> The father song of this fic is [“Only One” by Yellowcard](https://youtu.be/RJLkcPhVi9w), in case you want to listen to it.
> 
> Thank you all for the support and comments!
> 
> Greetings!
> 
> —————————————  
> T/N
> 
> I CAN’T BELIEVE IT
> 
> I
> 
> AM
> 
> DONEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
> 
> WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I know it is nowhere perfect and I have to work some more to make more proper translations but I am proud of how this turned out, and also the fact that I actually finished it. It took me a year and something but I did it!!
> 
> Thank you so much for being with me on this journey, if you reached here, thank you! Thank you so much! 
> 
> I’ve been considering translating other works of this wonderful ship, so you’ll most likely see more of me in that sense.
> 
> Thank you so much again and...
> 
> See You Next Level! 
> 
> Oh, and Happy New Year everyone! 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Author’s note.  
> T/N: Translator’s notes.
> 
> A/N:
> 
> One day I was trying to decide between Pliroy and Otari and I ended up in JJBek or Jabek for friends, asking myself along with a friend how could they match each other after a really intense stare Otabek gave to JJ just before his great fall.  
> This fic is an attempt to explain the relationship of both JJ and Otabek and probably it won’t make any sense at the beginning but it’s to fill up all the gaps YOI left us about these characters that had so little screen time but a lot of us admire with our hearts. This fic will follow a temporal line until reaching the events of the anime, and in this particular chapter, Otabek has 13 years old, JJ has 14.  
> Thank you very much for reading, comments, cookies and tomatoes as long as I can put them to good use. 
> 
> Good day!
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> T/N: This is the story of how JJ and Otabek got together. 
> 
> This fic is from NoireRigel. I asked permission to translate it from Spanish because there’s not enough JJBek in the world and this piece is worth the world knows. 
> 
> Now for the fic itself, it was published in 2017, finished in 2018. Both NoireRigel and I had little knowledge about Figure Skating World those days, so there are surely some inconsistencies about the system, how the coaching work and so on. Also, this was written before the official guide came out, before we knew JJ has taught the 4S to Otabek, before we actually knew the declarations of Sayo and Kubo about JJ and Isabella, and before Welcome to the Madness. It was originally a canon compliant fic but then it took a different turn as all the official information was released. Now, this is a Semi - AU, or like these genre is known by these days, a Canon divergence fic, so many of the official events and facts do not take place in here. Every chapter I will post her original A/N as they are in Spanish. 
> 
> Please read and enjoy, if you like this, please give the author some love in the comments, or you can reach her at [NoireRigel](https://twitter.com/NoireRigel) in twitter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and see you next chapter!


End file.
